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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – I Never Want To See Josh Again

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By: Stacy Miller

 

Rebecca (Rachel Bloom) is sitting on the bed at her mother’s house while thoughts of the insults she threw at her friends dance in her head. Naomi Bunch (Tovah Feldshuh) turns off the television and tells Rebecca that enough is enough. “You’ve been in this bed the whole day. I’ve let you mope long enough.  We’ve got to talk plans. Is this a vacation? Is this a sabbatical? What is this? What am I telling people?” Naomi asks. Rebecca says that her mother can tell people what she wants.  Naomi asks Rebecca whether she’s going back to California. When Rebecca tells her mother that she’s not, Naomi decides that she will take over the reins of Rebecca’s life which means that Mama Bunch will send in Rebecca’s resignation and for her daughter’s things and Rebecca will get her old job at the New York law firm.

Meanwhile, Nathaniel (Scott Michael Foster) is at Rebecca’s house cuddling a stuff alligator (remember he loves going to the zoo) and moping that she’s gone.  There’s a knock on the door. It is some movers there to pack up Rebecca’s stuff to take to the storage unit in West Chester, New York. Nathaniel corrects the movers telling them that can’t be right because Rebecca is just visiting her mother.  He refuses to believe that Rebecca’s not coming back.  Nathaniel also doesn’t let the movers include the stuff alligator with Rebecca’s things.  “She’ll want this when she comes back,” Nathaniel says. The movers tell Nathaniel that “You need to move on dude.” Which ironically, ‘Move on Dude’ is there company slogan. Nathaniel goes to work carrying the stuffed alligator.  Darryl (Pete Gardner) can’t believe that Rebecca’s not there as he really needs to talk with her about what’s going on between him and White Josh (David Hull).  Maya (Esther Povitsky) tells Darryl that he can talk with her.  Darryl doesn’t know whether he wants to do that as Maya is obsessed with him and White Josh.  Plus, she does that “millennium speak” with the ‘OMGs’ and ‘Hashtags and “You give me all the feels.”  Darryl shares with Maya that White Josh doesn’t want to have a baby with him.  As predicted, millennium speak comes out Maya’s mouth. A fax comes in. Nathaniel tells the group that it is Rebecca’s resignation. Everyone is shocked that Rebecca has resigned.  Maya wonders who will be her mentor now.  When Nathaniel says that he’s going to hire a replacement for Rebecca as they are down one lawyer for the timeshare case, Maya takes offense saying that no one can replace Rebecca. “I don’t want anyone to think about Rebecca.  I don’t even want to hear her name,” Nathaniel tells the group.

Naomi has finished Rebecca’s letter asking for her old New York law firm. “Thank God I’m here to scoop up the poop behind the elephant. That’s you Rebecca, you’re the one who’s pooping,” Naomi says then tells Rebecca to work on her resume.

Another person moping over Rebecca’s departure is Paula (Donna Lynne Champlin), who has taken a sick day rather than face Rebecca’s empty desk at work. Husband Scott (Steve Monroe) tries to cheer his wife up by telling her that he and the kids want to spend time with her as a family. This is Brendan and Tommy’s (Zayne Emory and Steele Stebbins) cue to appear and repeat how much they want to spend time with their mom before Brendan goes off to college (Ha!).  Of course, Scott paid his sons twenty bucks. Soon, the Proctor family is playing a game of fairy princess candy land, complete with costumes.

Naomi wants to take Rebecca to the mall to have something done with her daughter’s hair. “I’m tired of that depression frizz,” Naomi says. Rebecca tells her mother that she is working on her resume.  But later when Rebecca falls asleep, Naomi takes her daughter’s computer and is horrified to read that Rebecca has been researching the “Nine Painless Ways to Kill Yourself.”

Back at Plimpton and Associates, Maya and Darryl wonder whether Rebecca’s replacement will be anything like their friend. Co-worker Jim (Burl Moseley) comments on the sexual tension, will they or won’t they relationship he shared with Rebecca (I guess these were the scenes that were edited out of the episode as NO ONE but Jim saw them!) Nathaniel approaches and tells the team that the replacement is up her way up; he orders them not to be themselves. Everyone faces the elevator as Cornelia Wigfield (Bayne Gibby) walks off.  She is the complete opposite of Rebecca with an all business demeanor. Darryl encourages Cornelia to ignore her co-workers, saying they are idiots.  Cornelia advises that she has already read the case files and can get to work as soon as she is pointed to the direction of her desk. Later, Cornelia is trying to get her work done when Maya comes to her desk with the mentor form. Cornelia comments that she did the program and signs the form immediately.  Darryl emailed Cornelia information regarding his relationship with White Josh for her input.  Cornelia thinks that at work they shouldn’t talk about personal things and suggests a relationship book she heard about that was on The New York Times best seller list; she can send Darryl the link. Nathaniel says that he hopes that everyone hasn’t been bothering her, but Cornelia assures it is fine as at the downtown office everyone is so formal and communicate via fax.

Naomi wakes up her daughter and is worried by Rebecca’s comment that “I wish I could sleep forever.” Naomi makes Rebecca and strawberry smoothie.  It’s obvious that still concerned about the suicide options her daughter was researching, Naomi is being super nice to Rebecca.

Nathaniel thinks Cornelia is a breath of fresh air around the office as she has done two draft of a perfect brief and maintains professionalism. He learns that she attended Yale and Harvard, but never mentions it unless she’s asked. Cornelia is the opposite of Rebecca; she prefers to keep personal connections out of work.

In West Chester, Rebecca helps Naomi finish a crossword puzzle. Rebecca asks Naomi why she is being so nice to her. Naomi says that as Rebecca’s mother, she knows that her daughter is hurting and needed some TLC.  Naomi leaves to make her daughter some popcorn. We get the song “Maybe She’s Not Such a Heinous Bitch Afterall” a black and white 1960 type girl group song where Rebecca sings about how she once hated her mother and wished for a normal resentment, but old age has turned Naomi into a doll. Afterwards, Naomi agrees to play a game of Twister with Rebecca. When Naomi goes upstairs, the doorbell rings.  It is Audra Levine (Rachel Grate).  Audra wastes no time taunting Rebecca about her (Rebecca) failed wedding and being back in West Chester. Rebecca tells Audra that Naomi knew she (Rebecca) was sad after everything that happened and is taking care of her. Audra hints that Naomi is up to something and if Rebecca doesn’t know what it is, it must be working. Audra and Naomi exchange air kisses before Audra leaves.

When Paula comments that she’s not looking forward to returning to work and seeing Rebecca’s empty desk, Scott suggests that she call out sick.  Paula thinks that is a good idea; Scott can call out sick too and they can go on a family vacation.  She tells him about the timeshare case she’s working on where the client likes her and offered the use of the fancy hotel with a wet bar in Palm Springs.  “Tommy does love to drink while he pees,” Scott says, deciding to take the sick day.

Cornelia tries to heat up her burrito to eat at her desk while she works but is interrupted by Jim, Maya and Darryl.  Creeped out by the other staff’s stalking of her, Cornelia agrees to Nathaniel’s suggestion to go with him to the timeshare resort in Palm Springs to work on the case. In order to get a better view of the resort for the case, Cornelia and Nathaniel have to take pictures from the pool. At that moment, The Proctors arrive and Paula has tries to hide when she spots Nathaniel because she called out sick. In the wet bar, Nathaniel pretends he’s not crying as he is obviously thinking and talking about Rebecca.

Back in West Chester, Rebecca realizes that her mother has been drugging her with Naomi’s old medication to keep Rebecca complacent. Naomi admits she saw the suicide websites and was worried about her daughter.

Jim, Maya and Darryl arrive at the timeshare resort. When they all start talking at the same time begging her to pick them, Cornelia begins singing a Brazilian style song “I Feel This Isn’t About Me.” Then, she announces that she is returning to Los Angeles and will file several complaints with HR and use the settlement she collects to open her custom yo-yo business.

Naomi finds Rebecca gone and a note from her daughter saying that she will be okay.  Meanwhile, Rebecca is aboard a flight back to Los Angeles but then changes her mind about returning home.  She asks the flight attendant to drop her off in a cornfield in Kansas. Looking at Naomi’s bottle of bills, Rebecca begins taking them. And later drifting in and out of sleep and seeing buttons that say ‘Help’ and then ‘Hope’, Rebecca calls the flight attendant over and says “I need help.”

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