Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Nathaniel Needs My Help!
By: Stacy Miller
Two weeks after the mid-season finale, Rebecca (Rachel Bloom) and Nathaniel (Scott Michael Foster) wake up in each other’s arms. Rebecca is so happy to be with him that she suggests that Nathaniel take the day off from work so they can spend it together. Unfortunately he can’t because he has a deposition. But Nathaniel has made reservations at a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant to take his girlfriend. Yes, he said the ‘G’ word! Rebecca is super giddy now. She even smells Nathaniel’s shirt while he takes a shower.
Later during therapy with Dr. Shin (Jay Hayden), Rebecca tells him about the shirt smelling. “Don’t panic, you felt intimacy and affection,” Shin says. But Rebecca worries that it will lead to what she calls love kernels, which will lead to obsession and destructive behavior that has been a problem in the past. Dr. Shin urges her to slow down and be mindful as she gets to know Nathaniel better. “Just one more thing…is it bad that I’m wearing this?” Rebecca asks as she unbuttons her blouse to reveal that she’s wearing Nathaniel’s Stanford t-shirt. “It’s not great,” Dr. Shin answers.
At Plimpton, Plimpton & Associates, Paula (Donna Lynne Champlin) comes to Darryl’s (Pete Gardner) office to go over a few things before the deposition and comments how the animal hide, feathers and taxidermy is making the office stink. “It’s like CSI Southwest,” she says. “This is my heritage,” Darryl replies.” Honey, if you bought it at a gas station then it’s not heritage,” Paula adds. Darryl has been looking at a book containing the descriptions of egg donors in order to find the future mother of his child. Paula tells Darryl that she is proud of him for not turning into a puddle after his breakup; he’s forging ahead. But Darryl is worried that as he is doing this alone, he may pick the wrong person and mess it up. Although she’s promised herself not to meddle in other people’s lives so much, Paula realizes he needs help. “Plus, catalogue shopping and judging people are two of my best events,” Paula says. She quickly picks out all the bad donors. Darryl appreciates Paula’s help; he wouldn’t want his child to have one dimple especially when it will have only one parent. That may be true, says Paula but at least the parent is a good one. When she learns that there isn’t a guy catalogue as he plans to make the sperm donation, Paula asks Darryl whether “all of your stuff is good.” Darryl thinks so but he’s not sure as he hasn’t been tested yet. “What if my guy stuff is bad? I didn’t think about that,” Darryl says. Paula encourages Darryl to go get tested while she continues to find the right donor.
After their fancy dinner at the Beverly Hills restaurant, Rebecca and Nathaniel are in bed again. Rebecca tells Nathaniel that she wants them to get to know each other better. She asks what little Nathaniel was like. Nathaniel reveals that he doesn’t have any siblings, spent most of his time with the gardener when he was a child, has an okay relationship with his mother and no relationship with his father. Nathaniel says that he’s never admitted any of this to anyone before as none of his former girlfriends cared about whether he got along with his father. Rebecca thinks Nathaniel should tell his dad how he feels.
Meanwhile back at the firm, Paula shows Darryl she found the perfect egg donor: #456H76 (Kosha Patel). The woman is college educated, a non-smoker and didn’t once mention the beach or going to the beach with her dog. After Darryl approves the selection, Paula returns to her desk to place the order for the one egg. She’s furious when she learns that although the egg is still in the vault, the donor has decided not to be a donor. This is so frustrating! George (Danny Jolles) is trying to make a cup of coffee when Rebecca appears and orders him to come with her to the bathroom. As she no longer works there, Rebecca didn’t feel like facing people and answering their questions. As she doesn’t have access to the company database, Rebecca wants George to get her a copy of Nathaniel Sr.’s calendar so she can arrange to “accidently” bump into him. She wants to help build a relationship between Nathaniel and his dad. When George refuses to help, Rebecca threatens to kill herself again and blame him in the suicide note. That works, George reluctantly agrees to help Rebecca.
At Casa Chan, Lourdes (Amy Hill) and Josh (Vincent Rodriguez III) look at the closet in his room that is still full of his stuff. Mrs. Chan tells Josh this isn’t good as he is moving out and hasn’t packed yet. She needs his room for her home day care business. There has been too much change in his life. Lourdes just wants Josh to pack up his bedroom.
In group therapy when she talks about her plan to bring Nathaniel and his father together, Dr. Shin wonders if Rebecca is overreaching, which isn’t good for her. Group members include Lana (Arden Belle), Clarice (Carrie Clifford) and Bert (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Writer and Co-Executive Producer Michael Hitchcock). Dr. Shin reminds Rebecca that doing nice things is good but she needs to watch out for over extending because she idealizes people.
Paula’s eyes are on #456H76 as the women sits on a park bench reading a book. And at the fertility center, Darryl asks a nurse (Cesili Williams) for a men’s magazine while keeping the women’s one.
At her house, Rebecca has George put on golf caddy pants as she plans to “casually” bump into Nathaniel Sr. at the golf club and strike up a conversation. But when they arrive, inside of going inside, Nathaniel’s father gets into the car of an unknown woman. Maybe it’s a drug deal or an affair reasons George. Rebecca decides to follow Nathaniel Sr.
Josh is packing up his stuff when he comes across an old tape of his favorite karaoke tracks.
Paula approaches #456H76, who threatens to call the police because Paula has been stalking her. Paula explains that she has a friend that needs #456H76’s egg and asks the woman to sign the release.
At Plimpton, Plimpton and Associates, Mrs. Hernandez (Gina Gallego) tells Darryl that “the yank bank” is on line four. She angrily asks him to give them his cell phone next time. Darryl gets good news which leads him to singing the song “My Sperm is Healthy” with lyrics such as ‘my sperm is nice and healthy, like Warren Buffett I’m wealthy. My sperm, my sperm is no cause for concern. My sperm is healthy. Aw shucks, gee wiz, I got the best sperm in the biz. Aw shucks, gee wiz, my sperm just aced the quiz.’ The song ends and Darryl tells Mrs. Hernandez “My sperm is healthy.” Congratulations,” she says unenthusiastically.
George drives Rebecca to a house where Nathaniel Sr. and the strange woman enter with a girl. Rebecca believes the woman is Nathaniel Sr.’s mistress and the girl is his daughter, which means Nathaniel has a little sister.
#456H76 comes to see Paula and tells her that she’ll release her sperm…but on one condition. What does she want?
Lourdes finds Josh has been singing karaoke all night and hasn’t even packed up his closet. Josh tells his mother that singing karaoke makes him nostalgic for long gone times. So, Lourdes sings her own karaoke song, “Get You Ass Out Of My House” which includes lyrics such as ‘year after year, why are you still here? To be clear, I want you to disappear. In case you have any doubts, get your ass out…because I’m not in the mood to keep buying your food. You can live anywhere as long as it’s not here’ I loved this song as it is the perfect ode of frustrated parents of older kids who never leave home!
While Darryl baby proofs the law firm, Paula receives a text from #456H76 and goes to meet her in the park. #456H76 tells her that because Paula broke the law by stalking her and violating her anonymity, she’d hate to get the police involved but will do so unless Paula agrees to pay her monthly installments for the rest of the baby’s life. Paula is being blackmailed! And to make matters worse, #456H76 is also a smoker, which meets she lied on the application. Paula can’t believe she picked the wrong choice from the catalogue; if she were a sweater, Paula would return her. Paula urgently calls the fertilization center to stop the procedure but gets an automated message putting her on hold.
George brings Nathaniel to supposedly meet with a client. Nathaniel finds Rebecca there as well. Rebecca introduces Nathaniel to his secret little sister. Kristen (Sydney Scotia) is not Nathaniel’s sister. Her mother was Nathaniel Sr.’s secretary for thirty years and Nathaniel’s father pays her college tuition and they (Kristen and her mother) invite him (Nathaniel Sr.) to lunch every so often to thank him.
Paula returns to the law firm and is happy when she get the phone call that the egg fertilization didn’t take. She tells Darryl that #456H76 was a blackmailing, smoking liar. Darryl sadly tells Paula that as the cost of the egg is so expensive, he won’t be able to try again for another year.
Josh has finally finished packing his bedroom. He sadly tells his mother how his life is nothing like he thought it would be. But Lourdes hasn’t heard a word…Josh’s talking bored her and she’s fallen asleep!
Rebecca begs Nathaniel not to break up with her. He forgives her, telling Rebecca that he never met anyone like her before; she cares, cries at movies and makes eye contact with homeless people. He makes her promise never to do anything like that again. The next morning, Rebecca tells Dr. Shin what happened with Nathaniel and he expresses concern that she’s falling into the same patterns she did with Josh.
Paula comes to Darryl’s office to suggest ways to raise money for him to buy another egg before a year. She notices that Darryl sold all his Native American relics so he doesn’t have to wait a year. He wants ‘Auntie Paula’ continued involvement.
Josh comes to see Rebecca and thanks her, before he met her he set the bar low and she taught him to want more for himself. After Josh leaves, Rebecca goes to see Nathaniel and tells him “I have to do something I’ve never done before.”