Jane The Virgin – Chapter Sixty-Two

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By: Emily Cross

Young Jane (Jenna Ortega) had a recurring nightmare throughout her childhood. It is of crushed flower from Alba’s lesson growing teeth and wanting to eat her.

In the present, Jane (Gina Rodriguez) tells Xiomara (Andrea Navedo) that she’s taking it slow with Fabian and has no expectations. This is uncharacteristic of Jane, but she declares that things have changed. She then gets a call from editor Jeremy (Evan Todd) who offers her a guest column for Cosmopolitan online about dating as a 28-year-old widow. Jane has a fantasy starring her as Carrie Bradshaw, but is broken out of her stupor when a bus drives by, splashing her gorgeous white dress with mud.

When Jane and Xo arrive at the studio, Rogelio (Jaime Camil) and Xo tell Jane that they’re engaged. Jane is overwhelmingly happy and supportive, as a good daughter should be. She’s a little confused; however, when they tell her the wedding will be small and tasteful (two words that definitely do not describe Rogelio).

Meanwhile, Chuck (Johnny Messner) and Petra (Yael Grobglas) are on their way to Pensacola. Petra is jumpy because of the ticking clock on Anezka’s freedom.

Jane is having trouble starting her column, and imagines what Carrie would do. She’s interrupted by Rafael (Justin Baldoni) dropping Mateo (Joseph Sanders) off. Rafael has the girls (Mia and Ella Allan) with him and when Jane asks he fills her in on the Petra/Chuck roadtrip. After Rafael leaves Jane helps Xo fold laundry while they talk. Xo isn’t planning on buying a wedding dress, which Jane finds odd, but Xo quickly spins the conversation towards Fabian who is planning a surprise for that night. Xo thinks this is romantic.

Maybe not, though. Fabian’s (Francisco San Martin) surprise is to have Jane make him a reading list since he is almost done Fahrenheit 451. He also mispronounces the word “genre” and Jane is very put off. The night gets further off the rails when Fabian discusses Fahrenheit 451 for two hours. Jane finally lays it all on the table asking Fabian if he is interested in more than her brains (talk about a trope flipped on its head!). He tells her that he is attracted to her, but buries himself in books because otherwise he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her. Then, he suddenly propositions her despite his promise to wait.

Jane leaves to “powder her nose,” a/k/a psych herself up. She imagines Alba (Ivonne Coll) reprimanding her and then magically gets a phone call from Iron Abuela herself. Alba tells her that Mateo had a nightmare and is asking for her and Jane is thankful for the out. When she goes back to tell Fabian she’s leaving, she finds him completely naked and obviously, ahem, attracted to her. It’s awkward, but Jane makes her exit.

Back at home, Jane comforts Mateo. He asks her what “artificial” means and says that a kid at school said he was artificial. Jane assures him that it’s not true, but that leads to the “how are babies made” question, which Mateo is way too young for. Jane gives him the basic version: mommy has eggs, daddy has swimmers and they get together with a “special hug.” Crisis averted!

Chuck and Petra arrive at a motel in Pensacola. Petra is mad because Chuck got them lost and the bar was closed. When Chuck leaves to get things from his truck, Petra plugs her phone in and listens to two voicemails from Rafael: one asking if they should sign the girls up for more karate lessons and the one in which he confessed his love for her.

Speaking of Rafael, he gets a visit from Dennis (Christopher Allen) and Dana (Sheila Carrasco), looking for Chuck. Rafael tells them that he’s out of town with Petra and Dennis fills Rafael in on the Chuck = JP development.

Rafael immediately calls Petra, but she doesn’t answer. She jumps when Chuck opens the door, shotgun in hand. He claims the gun is just because he doesn’t want his truck broken into and hops in the shower. Petra digs in his back to find some fresh clothes that have been recently washed (a hard ask for Chuck) and finds a shell necklace that matches shells found near Scott’s body. She gets texts from Rafael telling her that Chuck is JP and immediately calls him. She tells him what she found and Rafael tells her the police are on their way. Chuck gets out of the shower and Petra claims to wants some air. He starts to tell her that he knew Scott, but before he can confess anymore Petra smashes a glass vase on his head and makes a run for it. She doesn’t get far and Chuck manages to tell her that he didn’t kill Scott, he just knew him. When Chuck was trying to buy the Fairwick, Scott helped him get some inside information. When Chuck went to pay him, Scott upped the price so Chuck called the deal off. Petra still finds Chuck’s jumpy behavior suspect. Chuck tells her that he’s been nervous because he wants to tell her he loves her. Of course, this is when the police show up.

Rafael fills Jane in on the phone, and Jane offers her support to Petra. Jane also tells Rafael that Mateo is running around on the playground giving girls “special hugs” and saying that they’re having his baby. Since it’s Jane’s fault, she tells Rafael she will handle it.

Rafael comforts Petra at the Marbella. She asks him if he thinks Chuck did it and Rafael thinks it’s a possibility since he did lie about knowing Scott.

In the interrogation room Chuck tells the detectives he was supposed to see Scott the night he died, but Scott never showed. While Chuck waited he walked along the beach, drinking whiskey. He came upon a woman who offered him a handmade bracelet, for good luck in his new business venture. Chuck’s lawyer (Denis Ryan-Sherman) demands a guarantee that the police drop the charges against him before he describes the woman to a sketch artist.

Jane talks to Mateo about the “special hug” behavior. She explains that the special hug is only meant for two grown-ups who love each other, not kids. When Mateo asks how he was made, Jane diverts his attention with ice cream.

Later, Jane talks to Xo and is convinced she’s committed a major parenting fail. Xo thinks that Mateo will be fine. The conversation shifts to Jane getting ready for her sexy night with Fabian and Xo criticizes Jane’s lack of lingerie. So, Jane decides to go without underwear altogether. Maybe not the best choice because when Jane arrives at Fabian’s apartment, he introduces her to his abuela! There’s an awkward moment when Jane has to pick up a dropped fork, but she gets by relatively unscathed.

This does give Jane some good fodder for her column and brings the return of Carrie Bradshaw Jane, who tells her family (also imagined as “Sex in the City” characters) that she’s ending it with Fabian. Xo (as Samantha) tells her to at least have sex with him first. Alba (as Miranda) tells her that she’s dodged a bullet. Rogelio (as Charlotte) is scandalized at the frank sex talk. Back in the real world, Alba and Xo are at odds over what is/was best for Jane. Jane, for her credit, is happy that she waited until marriage to have sex, but thinks that Alba’s teachings definitely affected the way she views sex now. Regardless, Jane knows that she and Fabian are not on the same page and she is over it. Rogelio asks her to wait to break his heart until after they shoot their big action sequence because he needs Fabian focused. Jane promises to stop by after the sequence is done. Rogelio then gets a text that he and Xo have an appointment at the courthouse later that week. Jane is surprised they’re getting married at the courthouse and wants to make sure it’s what Xo really wants.

Xo claims she never dreamed of a big fancy wedding, but Alba has the receipts: a dream wedding scrapbook from Xo’s youth. Xo tells Alba that she and Rogelio are staying away from a big wedding because they don’t want Jane to be reminded of her wedding.

Jane talks to Rafael on the phone before she goes to break up with Fabian. They agree that they should talk to Mateo about his conception together and figure out some kid-friendly way to phrase it.

When Jane arrives at the studio, Fabian is doing an interview with a reporter (Tiffany Smith), who asks who Jane is. Fabian tells her that Jane is his serious girlfriend and he is crazy about her. Then, he starts jumping on the couch, Tom Cruise style. Jane pulls him aside and tells him that she’s not serious about their relationship, but serious about having sex. Fabian is upset and storms off dramatically as only a telenovela star can do.

That night, Jane and Rafael tell Mateo the story of how their family came to be as his bedtime story. It’s adorable seeing their little family and hearing once again how many things had to fall into place for “Mr. Sweetface” to come into the world. After Mateo snuggles down to go to sleep, Jane and Rafael have a conversation through text. Jane invites him to the telenovela blessing the next day, but Rafael is having dinner with Petra and the girls. Rafael tells Jane about leaving the message for Petra, but he thinks Chuck erased it and is waiting for the right time to tell her again.

At the telenovela blessing, Fabian tells Jane that his couch-jumping clip has gone viral and asks her to pretend to still be with him. She agrees, just this once. However, the whole thing goes sideways when Jane doesn’t want to participate in press stunts. She tells Fabian in private that he didn’t love her, he loved the idea of her: a good girl that he can introduce to his grandma. She calls the fake relationship off.

Meanwhile, Alba and Jorge (Alfonso DiLuca) are marveling at the telenovela stars all around them. Jorge asks Alba why she loves telenovelas so much. Alba tells him that it’s a way for her to feel closer to Xo. They sweetly exchange I love you’s before Jane sits next to them to hide from Fabian. They all observe Rogelio and Xo, happy together. Jane complains to Alba that they should have a real wedding and Alba is thrilled. She drags Jane to Rogelio and Xo to tell them just that. When Rogelio and Xo suggest that they were trying to save Jane from hurt, she shakes it off. Her parents getting together is a dream come true and she wants to celebrate that.

Fabian pulls Jane away and apologizes for expecting commitment from her. They agree that all that’s between them is sexual chemistry and can’t help themselves from agreeing to have one night together.

On her way to Fabian’s apartment, Jane calls Xo to talk her into it because she’s freaking out a little. Xo knows that Jane is still sitting in the studio parking lot and slides into the passenger seat to assure her that she shouldn’t feel guilty for having no-strings-attached sex. Xo returns to the party and Rogelio, who has some wedding ideas already. Someone is spying on Rogelio, though… why?

Meanwhile, Jane and Fabian get down and dirty. Post-sex, Fabian offers to let Jane stay over, but Jane refuses. This gives her perfect material for her column!

Later, Jane calls Rafael and tells him the good news, even if it’s a little weird. He’s really happy for her, but has to go to tend to Petra, who insists that she’s fine. Before she leaves Rafael’s suite, she tells him that they should definitely sign the girls up for karate again. He knows that she heard his message and calls her out on it. He promises that their relationship can be different since they’ve grown so much. Before she can respond, Dennis knocks on the door. He and Dana are there to show Rafael the sketch of the woman Chuck met the night of Scott’s murder. We don’t get to see the sketch, but it’s obvious that Rafael and Petra recognize the woman.

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