Modern Family – Alone Time
By: Paige Zinaman
Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) comes in decked out in her softball gear asking if Cam (Eric Stonestreet) could toss her the ball. Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) who thought Lily was talking to him said he wished he could, but he’s busy. This is when Lily explains she was talking about Cam. Cam tells Lily that he can only do it for a little while Gloria (Sofia Vergara) and Joe (Jeremy Maguire) go through her old toys, leaving Mitchell alone with Jay (Ed O’ Neill). As they go to walk out, Joe tells them that he will fly out to the garage with his cape. When they leave, Mitchell tells Jay that his stance on sons wearing accessories changed. Jay tells him that the cape gives Joe superpowers then asks what leg warmers gave Mitchell. Mitchell tells him that they gave him flare as he sprayed him with water from the iron. Mitchell tells Jay that he needs a night away because of a hard case that he just got finished, Lily’s softball games and Cam’s Spring cleaning frenzy. He tells Jay that he has it all planned and tells him about checking into a hotel, getting a massage and a few hours by the pool followed by having a steak dinner while reading his book. Jay tells Mitchell that he should do it too, which he can’t because asking Cam to go away alone makes Cam go all pouty and he doesn’t want to deal with it for three weeks.
Cam comes inside telling Jay that Gloria is ready to go. As Jay leaves he calls Mitchell “Mrs. Tucker,” which confuses Cam who asks Mitchell about it. Mitchell tells him that he would love to go the desert for a night alone, which Cam replies with he doesn’t care twice. This Mitchell knows means he really does care. Mitchell explains that with Lily going to a sleepover that night that it would be good night to do so. Cam tells him to go and it’s not that he can’t stay alone by himself and how he’s not needy. He tells Mitchell that to show he’s not needy he will help him back only to open the closet to find a bag already packed.
Claire (Julie Bowen) walks into the kitchen to grab something out of the fridge when she hears Phil (Ty Burrell) behind her. As she turns around she finds the kitchen table laid out with a romantic set up and a sheet hung from the curtains as a mini projector showing Phil in a nothing but a robe and his boxers. He tells Claire about their plans and what she needs to do, but before they could do anything romantic Alex (Ariel Winter) comes storming in very upset about not being able to study and sets herself up at the kitchen table. Before they say anything to Alex, Luke (Nolan Gould) comes in with a few of his friends carrying cages full of chickens and asking for corn for an “epic” Senior prank. Claire tells Luke to get the chickens out of the house, but Luke tells them he has to get something from upstairs leading his friends and chickens up to his room. At the same time, Haley (Sarah Hyland) comes in about to break down from Dylan (Reid Ewing) stopping by with his new wife Elaine (Jackie Seiden) and their kids Douglas, Betty (Sedona Fuller) and Janice (London Fuller). He tells everyone that he wanted to pick something up that he left at their house before reaching into a drawer and pulling out his Rubix’s Cube that he was proud of. As he explains everyone hears something break when Luke tells them that he broke the banister and that he would fix it. Dylan’s daughters push the button on the mini projector causing Phil’s message to play again – where he showed his butt.
Meanwhile, Cam is at home watching sports with his feet propped up on the table with popcorn in his lap as he sings about being home alone is the best. He then shows up at Gloria’s door telling her to “rescue me.” Gloria tells him that it’s not a good time because she’s sick and tells him to not get too close because she doesn’t want him to get sick. Cam tells her that it won’t happen because there was a mix up when he was younger and that he’s immune to everything and tells Gloria that he will make her some chicken soup. He finds Manny (Rico Rodriguez) studying with his partner Sierra (CeCe Paige). Sierra tells them that they have another half hour because she promised her dad she’d get an oil change, which causes Cam to tell her that Manny could do it and to pull her car into the garage without damaging his weight set and power tools. Manny tells Cam to stop because he knows nothing about cars and he doesn’t want Sierra hitting Gloria’s weight set. Cam tells Mitchell that he will talk him through it while going to take over Gloria’s grandma’s fever cure. He tells Gloria that they are going to get her to bed and that he will take over making the cure for her and bring it to her.
Mitchell is talking to the bellman Colin (Dylan Mooney) about getting his stuff up to his room because he had to go to the bathroom. As he is walking to the bathroom Jay comes around getting Colin’s attention saying he shouldn’t have turned down the site map because he’s walked into the same Bar Mitzvah twice. As Colin walks off to get the map Mitchell confronts Jay asking what he’s doing there. Jay tells Mitchell that he said Cam wouldn’t let him come so he thought it would be safe to come himself. Jay tells Mitchell that he made it sound so good that he wanted to try it with no one to talk to, but Mitchell tells him that now they do. Jay points out that the hotel is huge and for him to do his thing and he will do his. When Mitchell points out that Jay even copied the book he’s reading Jay tells him he peeked at the cover and said he wasn’t going to turn down a highly-recommended book.
Claire and Phil try to clink their wine glasses, which causes Alex to freak out asking them if they want her to fail. They tell her that they know she’s stressed and that they are glad she stopped pulling out her eye lashes, but she needs to do something about shoving the pen cap up her nose. Before they could do or say anything Haley walks in still upset that Dylan is married and has kids. She starts breaking down about how she’s going to be alone forever when Alex asks her if she can go be tragic somewhere else. As Luke starts to fix the banister Haley thinks Dylan is knocking on the door only to have Luke burst her bubble. When Claire and Phil hear Luke say “uh oh” they run into the living room to find out what happened where they see Luke with his head caught in the banister as he tells them he should have moved his head before fixing it. Phil and Claire try to get Luke out when Alex comes in light headed as they notice that her nose is bleeding really bad followed by Haley coming in still upset about Dylan changing his phone number.
Mitchell is in the steam room when a man comes in who he thinks is Jay and says that he’s following him only to find it was just some strange man and that Jay was siting naked beside him the whole time. At dinner, Jay and Mitchell are sitting at tables opposite of each bickering when Austin (Josh Duvendeck) their waiter asks if they know each other and that they could split the fish and steak and bottle of wine. Mitchell tells Austin that Jay is his dad. Austin tells them that he lost his dad when he was ten years old and he would love to have dinner with his dad again. Jay and Mitchell tell Austin that they are sorry to hear that and then tell him what they want.
Phil is apologizing to Luke for pulling him out of the banister so hard as Haley is still ranting about Dylan being her safety net asking how it scientifically possible directing her question at Alex who is laying over the couch with her head down answering with, “Scientifically impossible for me to care about your health.” Phil asks where Claire is when Haley says she’s just sitting in the car. Claire apologizes about not being able to come back in as her take out arrives. Phil gets in and tells Claire to drive and as they drive they discuss all the things they’ve missed out on when Phil yells about a squirrel and they run off the road into someone’s graduation set up. Cam checks on Gloria as they take the cure from Gloria’s head they notice that he used Joe’s cape. He freaks out knowing the cape is important to Joe. Cam tells her that he’s going to go help Manny then go wash Joe’s cape and be back to check on her.
When Cam gets down to the garage, Manny tells him something is wrong and that oil is going everywhere. Cam grabs a screwdriver then slides on the oil popping Sierra’s tire. This freaks Manny out when Cam tells him it’s alright and asks where Jay keeps the patch kit. Manny grabs Joe’s cape and uses it to clean up the oil spill as Cam turns around with the patch kit stopping Manny. Sierra comes to check on Manny and Cam takes her back inside for tea while telling Manny where the instructions are to fix a flat tire. Once inside Cam asks Sierra if she has a date for Spring Formal. She tells him she probably won’t go because she doesn’t have anything to wear. Cam starts freaking out because he caught Joe’s cape on fire.
Claire and Phil try to reattach the balloons to the pole they ran into. As they talk about leaving, the other set of balloons break and land in the tree. Phil puts Claire on his shoulders and tells her to reach for them. She yells that she can’t reach the next chapter and tells him that they are never going to reach the next chapter of their lives. Phil tells her that nothing works out the way they planned, which Claire says she loves their kids but she had a picture of the way their lives would be. Phil tells her they don’t have to throw away the picture, but refocus it and they watch a money together on the lawn.
Cam fixes Sierra’s tire as she walks into the garage. He thanks Manny for letting him help. Manny compliments the dress Sierra is wearing when she tells him that Cam found it in Gloria’s closet for her. Sierra asks Manny if he wants to go get something to eat and they leave. Joe comes to Cam about his cape and when Cam takes it out of the dryer Joes says it looks like a monster ate it. Cam spins a story about how the burn is from where he fought a dragon and the oil is from where Joe saved an 18-Wheeler from falling off the bridge causing Joe to get excited.
Jay and Mitchell discuss how they are turning into each other. They end up bonding when Mitchell asks Jay to teach him to throw a ball to help Lily out.