Modern Family – Do It Yourself
By: Paige Zinaman
Phil (Ty Burrell) and Luke (Nolan Gould) are trying to fix the laundry dryer that Phil refused to pay Yuri (Gary Patent) to fix. Things are going good as Claire (Julie Bowen) comes downstairs to put clothes in the washer, Haley (Sarah Hyland) comes out of her room and asks that Phil keep it down. Claire tells Haley that she needs to get up and ready because she doesn’t want to miss Chef Dumont’s (Victor Garber) cooking class that Haley signed them up for. Claire and Haley leave Phil and Luke to it when Phil starts sneezing and ends up knocking over all the dryer pieces that he had labeled.
Jay (Ed O’Neill) walks outside to see Gloria (Sofia Vergara) and Joe (Jeremy Maguire) tossing the baseball with Coach Gary (Peyton Manning). When Jay starts asking her what’s going on she explains that Coach Gary is teaching Joe how to throw because he is the worst thrower on his team. Jay says that learning to throw the ball is something Joe needs to learn from his dad. Gloria disagrees and says the reason Joe is throwing the way he does is because he is learning from Jay who is a little bit older. Jay tells Coach Gary that he’s got it from here and tosses the ball to him only for it to miss the baseball mitt and land straight on the ground.
Cam (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) are startled when their door-bell rings. Cam answers it only to have a lady named Susie (Eileen Fogarty) ask for Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons). Cam freaks out thinking she’s there to take Lily, but Susie clarifies and says Lily hired her to clean her room. Mitchell and Cam tell Susie that they can’t have her cleaning Lily’s room and Mitchell escorts her out. Lily starts complaining about it’s not fair that they get to use apps to do things around the house and she can’t use an app to hire someone to clean her room. Lily storms off to her room. Cam tells Mitchell it’s time they become more self-reliant. Phil and Luke show Claire the dryer that Phil fixed. Claire, being skeptical, asks if he threw parts away and that if he did she won’t be mad. Phil just tells her that he fixed it and she gets to witness it. Luke grabs a fire extinguisher as Phil pushes the start button. Claire tells Luke to pull the pin out so he will be ready. To their pleasant shock the dryer actually starts, which turns Claire on as she tries to tell Luke that she and Phil need to go talk about something upstairs. Luke tells them to just go because they are ruining sex for him. After a round of love making Phil tells Claire that fixing the dryer was the most satisfying thing he’s ever done, leading Claire to say that she’ll just get dressed then.
Phil leads Jay to a sight that will hopefully become the future Dunphy Towers. Phil tells Jay what he envisions. Phil tells say that it’s not just a whim and that he’s thought about this a lot. Jay asks Phil what pushed him off the side lines and Phil tells him that he fixed a dryer and that Yuri wanted over three hundred dollars and he only paid twenty-eight. Jay tells him to stop talking because he knows Phil is the most cautious guy he knows when it comes to business so Jay says that he will invest in it. Phil asks if he’s serious because he could push the offer button that he had pulled up on his phone. Jay tells Phil that he also knows what he’d to do him if he blew Jay’s money.
Cam, Mitchell and Lily get started on how to become self-reliant. Cam tells Lily that they are not going to do chores with the help of their phones and that they are going to get their hands dirty. Cam puts Mitchell in charge of manscaping the house as he tells Lily she’s in charge of the weeds. As Cam tells Lily a story about how he had to crawl through a corn field and pick up rocks Mitchell freaks out and points out that there is a beehive. Cam tells him that it wasn’t a beehive and that it’s much worse because they are wasps.
Jay comes storming in the house yelling for Gloria who was leaning against the kitchen island with her laptop. He tells her that Phil got him to invest in a mini mall and that she needs to dial it down on the shoe purchases. Gloria tells Jay to give her a second and finish placing the order she was doing. Before Jay could say anything Coach Gary pops up scaring Jay and announcing that the drawer is fixed. Jay tells Gloria that he was going to fix that and before he could say anything Gloria told him that he was supposed to clean the gutters and how Coach Gary had already did it. Jay feels like Coach Gary is trying to steal his life and says if he would have shown up when he was married to DeeDee he would have made him a key. Manny (Rico Rodriguez) tells Jay that he has a date that coming Friday and asks if he could borrow his car. Jay says yes that Manny could borrow Gloria’s car and asks who the lucky girl was. Coach Gary takes it upon himself to tell Jay about the girl Manny had a date with and when Manny thanks him for his help Coach Gary said that he just played the ukulele and that Manny was the one who sang the song. Jay tells Manny and Gloria that he needs a Scotch and a James Bond marathon. Manny tells him that the television isn’t working and Jay says that “big hands” must have messed with the antenna and that he’ll go fix it. Gloria tells him that it could be too dangerous and that she’ll go get Gary, saying he wouldn’t mind sticking around. Jay just walks away and says that he’s getting the impression himself.
As Haley and Claire listen to Chef Dumont talk he tells them that by the end of the class they will be able to make the perfect chicken. Claire tells Haley that she could do this recipe in her sleep, but Haley suggests that she try while awake. As Chef Dumont walks by he asks Claire if he could use her thyme as an example and tells the class that the way she cut it was wrong. Meanwhile Phil goes back to the sight he wants to build the Dunphy Tower when Gil Thorpe (Rob Riggle) stops by tells Phil that whatever client wants to get the space made the second bad decision and that the first was hiring Phil. He tells Phil that the area is bad and he’s going to drive away before he gets jacked. Phil’s phone starting ringing and the man tells Phil that the people who owned the lot accepted his offer, but before Phil could say anything else Luke starts beeping in and tells Phil that something is wrong with the dryer and Phil says that he will be right there.
Manny is watching Chef Dumont’s cooking show when Joe throws a baseball at the laptop and knocks it over. Gloria comes in Manny asks how that is an improvement to which Gloria says that Jay picked the lamp and then asks if Manny has seen him. Jay who just fixed the antenna is climbing back over the ladder when he got stuck on the roof. Mitchell and Cam are suited up and ready to take down the wasp nest as Lily asks if she could record it because her friends don’t believe her stories. Mitchell asks Cam if there’s another way to do this while Cam tells him that all they have to do is dislodge the nest into the trash can and drive it upstate to a farm where they will be much happier. When Cam knocks the nest down he misses the trashcan and instead causes the wasps to get angry and attack. Mitchell ushers Lily and himself inside as he yells for Cam to come inside, too.
As Chef Dumont asks Claire what she’s good at she says cooking. Haley says that what Chef Dumont is saying is she should probably stick to the recipes that he gives instead of going off on her own. Chef Dumont tells Claire that she can’t cook and that gourmet cooking is just not for her because it is tough although not as touch as her chicken. Claire says that she’s been making this food for her family every Sunday because she’s a working mom and she makes up for the time that she doesn’t get to spend with them. Claire pulls Haley towards her and asks her if she’s been feeding her garbage and Haley lies and says she’s the best cook ever.
Gloria goes outside to find Jay and when he tells her that he’s “up here” she says, “Your time was too short.” Jay tells her that he’s up on the roof causing her to turn around and she tells him to come down because the TV is working. He tells Gloria that he’s enjoying it up there and that if Joe wants to work on this throwing he could throw him up a bottle. Gloria asks if he’s stuck and Jay says no and that he can come down anytime that he wants to. When Gloria walks away he calls Phil. Luke tells Phil that Jay is calling and Phil tells him to not answer because he has a verbal contract with his ability to fix dryers. The dryer is still broken when he grabs the phone from Luke and goes upstairs.
Mitchell checks out the sting on Cam’s cheek while Lily sits on the counter. Mitchell tells Cam that he should go to the doctor and when Cam dismisses it and says that never once did he need medicine back on the farm that all he needs is a little mud. A few minutes later Mitchell brings Cam some snacks and freaks when he notices Cam’s cheek and eye is completely swollen shut. Cam tells Mitchell they need to go to the hospital because he wants to be pretty again.
Phil is on hold when he tells Claire that he’s pulling out of the deal. Claire tells him that she heard about the dryer and Phil tells her that it’s not just about the dryer and that he ran into Gil and that it’s a bad idea and Jay’s money is on the line. Claire tells him that no one cares what Gil thinks and that she believes in him and that he should believe in himself. This causes Phil to go ahead and do the deal. He is informed that Gil was just trying to scare Phil away. Claire tells Phil about how Chef Dumont told her she couldn’t cook and said that thankfully Haley was there to put him in his place. She said she was going to make a celebratory dinner just for them. Phil tells Haley she had one job. Gary puts the ladder up and tells Jay to give him his hand. Jay tells Gary that he feels like he is trying to show him up only to have Gary say he’s trying to impress Jay because he’s stuck like Jay. Gary tells Jay he’s over the whole sports thing and that he wants Jay to be his mentor. Jay tells Gary to help him down and they will get drinks.