Modern Family – Finding Fizbo
By: Paige Zinaman
Louise (Dot-Marie Jones) arrives at Cam and Mitchell’s (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) house, which causes Cam (Eric Stonestreet) to ask if she is dropping out of the bowling championship that is about to happen. Mitchell starts freaking out because they are one game away from his first sports trophy. Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) who is studying at the table comes in as Louise states that all she said was “Hey Cam.” Cam explains that he invited Mitchell to join his gay bowling team cleverly named “The Britney Spares,” which Mitchell tells his bowling has improved so much the shoe rental guy called him decent. Louise tells them that she is there on official police business and hands Cam the iPad containing a video of someone dressed in his Fizbo costume and going after someone’s car and scaring a mailman (Harrison White). Lily points out that it’s Fizbo with a scary mask. She asks how someone got his costume and Mitchell is cringing watching the videos. Mitchell tries to avoid the question when Cam tells Lily that her father gave it to charity,.Lily asks how she didn’t hear that fight and asks if she was in town. Louise tells them that the case is closed and that she would see them tonight at the bowling championship, Cam tells Louise that the case is not closed and that they haven’t caught the guy. Louise tells Cam that the only reason she followed up with it was because she thought it was him. Cam tells them that they can’t let the man ruin Fizbo’s good name. Mitchell’s only response was to ask if they were still going to the game and Cam tells him that he’s the one that gave Fizbo away and that he’s not allowed thirty seconds to be upset.
Meanwhile, Phil (Ty Burrell) and Jay (Ed O’Neill) are in a hotel room setting up for Frank’s (Fred Willard) bachelor’s party. Phil is really excited about meeting his soon to be stepbrother Ray. Phil tells the story about when he was younger he wanted a brother so bad that his parents got him bunk beds and he would pretend he had a brother up there and would always say that “Marty” was in a mood. A knock at the door alerts Phil and he goes to open it to reveal his father. They exchange a joke and hug when Ray (John Gemberling) walks into the room. Phil tells Ray to bring it in only to have Ray hug him around the waist and say it’s what brothers do. Ray steps back and says Phil tried to touch his ding dong and that he didn’t know it was that kind of party. Jay tells him that he must have missed the white wine and fudge when Ray says that white wine isn’t going to get him there and walks out. Jay asks Frank and Phil if he’s the only one seeing himself choking out Ray. Phil tells Jay that he has a good feeling about Ray and that he felt a lot of him.
Over at casa de Pritchett, Manny (Rico Rodriguez) is handing out scripts to a play he has written to Haley (Sarah Hyland), Alex (Ariel Winter), Claire (Julie Bowen) and Gloria (Sofia Vergara). Manny says that the play is about four women to come together to mourn the loss of the family’s patriarch causing Gloria to say that it’s sad. Claire tells Gloria to pace herself and Gloria saying that a man died. Claire tells Gloria that it’s a fake old man and old men die – something Gloria has surely thought about. She nudges Haley who tells her she doesn’t want to be brought into it. Manny says he’s submitting his play to a young playwright festival, but wanted to hear it read out loud before. Alex is shocked to find that the play has one hundred pages and asks what time they are supposed to leave. Claire asks if she has a hot date to which Haley tells Claire to not be mean. Alex reveals that she is in a relationship with Ben (Joe Mande), but she has kept it from everyone because he is older, works with her mother and lives with his mother. Alex walks into the kitchen and calls Ben to apologize saying that the read through is going to take longer than she expected. Ben tries to make Alex jealous by telling her about one of his mom’s friends who tries to flirt with him to which Alex tells him about the regular at the coffee shop who always asks her to go motorboating.
Cam and Mitchell pull into the bowling alley. Cam asks Mitchell how he can be thinking about bowling at a time like this to which Mitchell says as we go into a bowling alley. Cam gets a text message that he plays through the phone from Martin (Oliver Platt), which says he keeps imagining them holding the trophy tonight and then saying just kidding you aren’t invited to my victory party. Martin is there laughing and waving his phone around getting them asking where the rest of the team was to which he keeps bringing up different team names. Mitchell asks if all the teams names have to be puns to which Martin says yes. Cam tells Martin that he will see him in the alley and as Martin is walking away he responds with, “I bet you say that to a lot of men.” Cam ignores him as Mitchell opens the trunk to get their stuff when Cam yells his name and points to the person wearing his Fizbo costume diving behind the dumpster. Mitchell asks if it’s possible because Cam is so upset that he’s seeing things to which Cam rants as he’s running after the person dressed as Fizbo.
Manny introduces Gloria’s character as the widow, but also a beautiful French commoner. Then, he introduces Haley’s character Bailey who is cute as a button and just as smart which causes Haley to say she likes her. Manny introduces Alex’s character as James Pickett’s sister Alma Diller, a professor who is in her sixties stating that there’s not a problem she can’t solve except her own loneliness. He finally gets to Claire who is reading for Kate who is attractive, intense, sharp tongued and fleeting moments of warmth. Claire interrupts Manny by saying she gets that the story is about the four of them only to have Manny put his own touches on it. Alex agrees with her mom and says that just because she’s smart she’s not going to end up some spinster. She then asks him if he knew what she could be doing right now if she didn’t get sea sick. Manny tells everyone to calm down and that the characters are accomplished and from other people he has known and tells them to continue. He continues the stage directions as Claire reads her first line about how she’s surprised Kate’s father hadn’t died long ago. She stops and asks how cold does he think she is and Manny tells her that once again it’s not based on her which Gloria snickers and says, “Isn’t it though?” Alex tells everyone that she’s going to grab a water as Haley follows her when she asks who Alex was texting. When Alex tries to deny it Haley rattles off everything she’s noticed different about Alex and tells her to spill. Alex tells her that it’s a dude and Haley points out that Alex has been like this her whole life thinking she doesn’t deserve happiness and tells Alex that she does and that if the guy is good to her and fun and doesn’t ride a scooter then let it be okay. When they reach the part for Gloria’s character, she does a French accent that causes Claire to cringe and ask if she’s really going to do the whole accent thing.
Phil is doing a magic trick on Frank who has changed into a t-shirt matching Jay and Phil. Ray who is examining the FRANKS hot dog ruins the trick by saying the card is in Frank’s pocket and he saw him put it there which causes Phil to be disappointed and Frank try to appease him. Ray asks Phil where the female entertainment was and Phil told him not to worry when a trio of women show up singing to Frank. Ray gets up and shuts off their music. When Jay asks if that was the end of the events Phil informs them of the rest of the plans before going to get ice. Ray tells them that there is a casino downstairs with big boy drinks so they head out. As they leave Frank says they can grab Phil on the way which Ray says, “Or he could try and find us.”
Louise shows up at the bowling alley and Cam tells her he found the psycho imposter guy behind the dumpster. She tells Cam that she doesn’t have time for his clown games and nonsense because they have a championship to win. Mitchell asks why this has to happen today which gives Cam the idea that maybe because it’s happening today someone is trying to throw him off his game. Cam points out Martin and Senor Kaplan (Will Sasso) who could be the Fizbo imposter and goes and confronts Senor Kaplan asking him where he was earlier. Before he could finish he yet again sees the Fizbo impersonator in a mirror and yells. Mitchell asks what’s going on and he and Mitchell go looking for the impersonator.
Alex and the girls finish reading as Haley and Alex leave and Claire tells Manny women are more complicated than what he wrote. Claire and Gloria get into an argument about how Claire can’t say she loves her which Claire says there was a moment she wanted to but time passed. She apologizes about not saying it before and tells her she loves her. Back at the alley Louise takes the iPad away and tells Cam if he throws another gutter ball she’s framing him for murder. He confronts Martin and Senor Kaplan about how chummy they are being when Martin admits he and Kaplan are dating. Martin states how he would get revenge on Cam and starts sounding like a literal stalker shocking Kaplan. Mitchell tries to stop Cam when he notices the Fizbo and runs after them. The Fizbo wannabe whacks their hand on the car mirror as they reach a dead end when Mitchell finds the mask.
Phil is in the hotel room playing Uno by himself when the gang comes in saying they were looking for him. They tell him about what they did while he was waiting up in the room. Phil tells them they can get back on track until Ray tells Phil he exchanged the tickets he bought for tickets to Sexcalibar causing Phil to get very upset and Phil and Ray get into a fight. Jay gets between them telling to act like gentlemen. Phil and Frank talk about how he’s happy to do whatever and Phil admits he is sad he has to share him with Loraine and Ray. Frank tells Phil that he and Loraine are thinking of moving to California.
Cam and Mitchell go to Louise asking her if she can investigate. She tells Cam if he can throw a good ball she’ll investigate tomorrow morning. They notice Louise grimace at her hand when Mitchell puts the clues together leading to the conclusion that Louise was Fizbo! They ask why she did it and they say for her to give the Fizbo costume back and leave.