Orphan Black – Manacled Slim Wrists
By: Michelle Lopez
Everyone’s favorite clone, Krystal (Tatiana Maslany), is back and she’s got herself a semi popular “not YouTube” channel with her friend Brie (Cara Ricketts). What pray tell might Krystal be vlogging about? Obviously fashion and exposing the lies of “big cosmetics.” This week they’re demo-ing how to curl your hair with bendy straws because sometimes you’ve just got to MacGyver your way to looking good. When they begin taking the straws out of Brie’s hair, most of her hair falls out. The video ends with them both shrieking in horror. Cut to the comic shop basement where Krystal and Brie are showing Art (Kevin Hanchard) and Scott (Josh Vokey) the horrible video which they edited and posted to their channel because they’re dedicated to their fans. Neither of the guys know why Krystal’s brought this to them which baffles her. Obviously, she came to them because they’re going to help her take down “big cosmetics.”
Siobhan (Maria Doyle Kennedy) opens the door and finds Frontenac (Andrew Moodie) ready to take Kira (Skyler Wexler) to Rachel (Tatiana Maslany). When Siobhan calls out, Sarah (Tatiana Maslany) descends the steps to let Frontenac know Kira’s sick. Frontenac wants to see for himself so they head up to Kira’s room where she’s still in bed. He doesn’t detect a fever so he tries to rule this out as a con. He asks Kira if she wants to miss her date with Rachel but phrases it in a way that leaves room for one answer, no. Kira tells him she doesn’t want to miss her date and then barfs on his shoes.
Sarah and Siobhan praise Kira for her acting with Frontenac since she’s not sick. They dosed her with ipecac and the ploy bought them time. Siobhan’s told Sarah about Delphine’s warning and Kira’s LIN28A gene. Sarah’s got a lot of question, but it’s need to know. Art calls Sarah to let her know that he’s got a lead. Cut to Krystal over video chat explaining how Brie’s hair loss is an attack against her for exposing “big cosmetics” lies. Sarah has no clue how to deal with Krystal so she asks Art what the hell’s going on. Krystal’s not one to be sidestepped so she lets Sarah know Brie’s been poisoned and then turns to Art complaining about how horrible Sarah is while Siobhan chuckles to herself listening to the madness. Art gets Krystal back on track and she explains that she’d been targeting a higher up at Blue Zone Cosmetics named Leonard Sipp (Tom Cullen). He ghosted yetBrie can’t help but point out that Sipp’s hot and Krystal can’t argue. Siobhan finds Blue Zone in a file of Dyad subsidiaries and when Sarah mentions it to the group everyone freezes because Krystal fell ass-backwards into another lead.
At Dyad, Frontenac updates Rachel on Kira’s illness. She’s not pleased, but agrees that dragging Kira out of the house would have been in poor taste so they postpone beginning Kira’s hormone treatments.
Sarah has the idea to meet with Sipp as Krystal and get him to spill the beans on what he knows about LIN28A. Both Siobhan and Art think it’s a bad idea, but it’s the best idea they’ve got so Art agrees to speak with Krystal. While Sarah’s putting together her Krystal costume, Kira offers to hustle Rachel for them but throwing up was more than enough for now.
In the comic shop, Art convinces Krystal to stay with Brie and support her through this tough time after she sets up a meeting with Sipp at her place. Scott prepares to take a blood sample from Brie while Krystal, her wing-woman, suggests Brie take off her shirt to keep blood off. Scott turns away so Brie asks Scott for some help because her hair is fragile. Scott realizes this is too awkward so he calls Krystal for backup, but she’s fled upstairs to leave the two alone.
After setting up Scott and Brie, Krystal bounced because she’s leading this investigation. She puts Art and Sarah in their place while setting up surveillance for them to watch her op. Sipp shows up and she asks why he ghosted her, but there is so much sexual tension buzzing between them that a simple apology has Krystal throwing herself on him. After a while, Sarah and Art get Krystal to tame her hormones and get back on task. He takes a call and Sarah tries to get Krystal to gently bring up Dyad, but gentle is not Krystal’s style. She flat out accuses him of selling his company to Dyad, which confuses Sipp because the deal was sealed with an army of nondisclosure agreements. She starts to lecture him on Dyad’s unethical methods but Sipp dips outside to take his call.
In the comic shop, Scott assures Brie that she’s not infected with anything and is probably having an allergic reaction. Brie celebrates and decides go for Scott, but he avoids temptation and asks her about any new products she’s tried. It turns out Brie is a bit of a thief and she stole something from a party that Sipp held.
Back at Krystal’s place, Art and Sarah coach her on what to say including LIN28A, but when Sipp reenters he tries to distract her with sex. Amazingly, she fights off his advances and questions why he’d partner with Dyad who goes against everything she and supposedly he stood for. Sipp admits he wasn’t so much interested in Krystal’s mission, but more in how hot she is. Krystal excuses herself to the bathroom to activate her patriarchy smashing mode. While Krystal’s busy, Scott gives Art a call tell him know about the cream Brie stole.
During Krystal’s bathroom break Sarah and Art tell her Brie might have snagged some experimental cream from Sipp’s party and she needs to find it. Unfortunately, Sipp finds it out on a table and attacks the bathroom door. Sarah and Art try to coach Krystal, but she’s done taking orders so she dumps her ear piece and opens the door. When Sipp asks her about the cream she explains Brie’s situation. He calls her stupid so Krystal kicks him in the balls and the universe cheers. She tackles him, puts him in a choke hold and threatens to put the toxic cream on his beard so he talks. It turns out he’s clueless about LIN28A, but Dyad was interested in their cream as a dermal dispersion system. Satisfied with the answer, Krystal rubs the toxic cream all over Sipp’s bread and kicks his pathetic ass out.
Rachel gets a call from Westmorland asking why Kira hasn’t started her hormone treatment yet. Rachel isn’t pleased that Westmorland knows everything that going on. Her zen persona seems to be more of a ticking time bomb at this point. She assures him she’ll get Kira started ASAP which is the only answer he’d accept.
Frontenac and Rachel show up to pick Kira up in the middle of the night. Siobhan tries to fight it, but Kira agrees while telling Siobhan to let Sarah know that she’s going to keep writing her story because Kira’s going to hustle Rachel.
Cosima (Tatiana Maslany) is locked in Yanis’s cell looking amazing in her tux. Mud (Jenessa Grant), sporting a cow bell necklace, stops by to deliver Cosima’s meal. Cosima assumes that Mud’s new accessory is courtesy of Westmorland (Stephen McHattie), but she’s punishing herself for the deaths of Yanis and the hunter. Cosima tries to break Mud out of the spell Revival’s got her under and make her see that none of these things are her fault. Unfortunately, Mud’s too far gone so Cosima tries to appeal Mud’s care for Yanis. Westmorland is planning on fertilizing and implanting over a thousand of her eight-year-old niece’s eggs into unknowing surrogates. All those kids are going to be just like Yanis, objects for Westmorland to play with in a vain attempt to keep himself alive. Mud seems to be coming around to Cosima’s side until Cosima mentions family because it’s reminds Mud that Westmorland and Revival are hers.
Susan (Rosemary Dunsmore) tries to convince Westmorland to work with Cosima to win over Kira and Sarah but he’s done with Cosima because she discovered the lie. Westmorland isn’t one-hundred-seventy years old, he’s just a guy Susan used to get what she needed because the patriarchy wasn’t going to cut it. Susan’s plan was well and good until Westmorland brought on a second scientist, Coady (Kyra Harper). Coady enters the room and faces off with Susan because she’s a little salty about her time in the mental institution. It quickly becomes clear to Westmorland that bringing these two together again was a horrible idea but he lays down a threat hidden in a metaphor that has Susan standing down and welcoming Coady back into the fold.
In the green house, Ira (Ari Millen) is surprised that Coady’s in Revival and is interested in whether she asked about him since he is one of her creations and he’d like to meet his maker so to speak. Susan slaps him because she doesn’t want him to meet her, which causes a minor glitch. Coady raised Castor clones as weapons while Susan raised Ira as a human. Susan wishes she had offed Coady when she had the chance because she’s going to bring nothing but death to Neolution, but Ira wants to preserve Susan’s humanity so he offers to go undercover and get close to Coady.
Coady’s decided to pay Cosima a visit in the basement. She claims to be on a tour of the building to reacclimate herself, but she’s there to sell Cosima on their bonkers way of thinking. If Cosima would agree to turn on her sestras she could join team Neolution, but Cosima’s not buying what she’s selling because Neolutionists are bonkers.
Ira heads down to Revival during the funeral of the hunter and spots Aisha (Sirena Gulamgaus) being carried out of the medical building followed by Coady. Ira enters the medical building and finds Coady giving a young boy some treatment. She inquires whether he remembers her since he was taken from her and his brothers at an early age. When Ira asks questions Coady doesn’t want to answer, she deflects by giving Ira a test to see if he’s glitching. When Ira refuses to answer she mentions that she’s close to a cure and acts surprised that Susan never tried to cure Ira.
Ira’s returned from his visit with Coady to report a lot of children’s blood waiting to be processed. Susan realizes Westmorland is using young blood to keep him alive. Ira suggests they just flee this horrible island but Susan started this mess and she’s going to finish it one way or another. Ira has another glitching episode so he brings up Coady and her supposed cure, but Susan debunks that straight away. Cosima is Ira’s best bet for a cure and she’s locked away. They realize that Cosima has a semblance of a relationship with Mud that they can use to free her. Susan’s spent her entire life working for Neolution, but with Westmorland and Coady at the helm she knows it’s time to demolish it.
At Revival, Mud sees Aisha’s mother weeping over her deceased child. The village is turning against Westmorland but Mud still fights against the truth. Mud heads into the basement and breaks the news to Cosima. Cosima asks about Mud’s family but Mud doesn’t want to talk about it. Ira shows up because she’s the messenger of Susan’s plan. He drops that Westmorland’s using kids blood to keep himself alive which outrages Cosima, but Mud’s a believer. Westmorland saved her life when she was a junkie in Seattle. She OD’d and woke up in Westmorland’s care. He saved her so feels that she owes him.
Susan interrupts Mud giving Westmorland his daily dose of kids blood, which enacts a plan that Mud isn’t completely sold on. Susan prompts Westmorland to admit that he’s using kids blood to keep himself healthy and that’s enough for Mud to pass off IV bag duty to Susan, who injects something deadly into the bag. Westmorland decides this is the moment to forgive Mud of her sins against him and tells her to ditch the bell and forgive herself. She does and her faith in him is renewed.
Ira frees Cosima as he starts majorly glitching. Knowing he probably won’t make it, he hands over an envelope to Cosima.
Cosima grabs her cure from the medical building and plans to make a break but Revival is breaking down and the citizens associate her with the problem. They rummage through her stuff and think the clone cure is part of what killed Aisha. Cosima begs them to let her and her sister, Charlotte (Cynthia Grant), flee. They don’t let her go until she shows them the evidence in the envelope Ira gave her. It’s a picture of Susan and Westmorland from the sixties where they’re the same age. Everything has been a lie and now the citizens of Revival know. They let Cosima and Charlotte pass while the village devolves into chaos. Meanwhile, Susan monitors Westmorland’s treatment until Coady busts in and stops it because Mud told her of Susan’s plan to kill him. Susan wasn’t aiming for murder but rather saving everyone from Westmorland’s insanity.
In the boat house, Charlotte is nervous about taking a tiny boat all the way to the mainland, but Cosima grew up on boats and this is their only chance of escaping. They’ve got all the navigational equipment they need and calm waters so Cosima assures them that they’ll be fine. They’re waiting on Ira and Susan, but Charlotte’s got a hunch they’re not showing up. Cut to Ira with his nose bleeding entering Susan’s room and finding her hooked up to the IV that was supposed to kill Westmorland. RIP Susan.
Cosima waits as long as she can, but ultimately decides to head to the mainland without Susan or Ira.