Powerless – Emergency Punch-Up
By: Jay Smith
Ron (Ron Funches) is watching “Making A Supervillain” in the office when he tells Teddy (Danny Pudi) and Wendy (Jennie Pierson) not to spoil the ending after they’ve already seen it. They argue about Dr. Psycho’s innocence, from his name change, to if he really did tie Wonder Woman up, when Dorothy (Dorothy Schock) comes up and spoils the ending that they found Psycho innocent. Teddy, in disbelief, calls Dorothy a name for the spoiler.
Everyone is gathered around in vacay clothes excited for the company retreat. Van (Alan Tudyk) gives a special thank you to the legal team for helping them have a retreat this year after Wendy got naked and then drunk at the last one. Emily (Vanessa Hudgens) jokes about bringing extra positive attitude for everyone and runs down a list of activities planned that fits everyone’s personalities like sitting by the pool and judging people for Jackie (Christina Kirk). Emily also mentions karaoke and everyone groans in rejection. Van makes a joke while calling it “kara-no-ke” that everyone laughs at, but Jackie sees two people in his office holding mics and giving him a thumbs up for landing the joke. Emily asks everyone to wear catchphrase shirts and, of course, Teddy says he doesn’t have one but Emily gives him a shirt that says “I don’t have a catchphrase” proving her right. Everyone is dismissed, but the team because they have to wait for Dorothy. Van cracks a joke about using his helicopter to drop Dorothy off at heaven because she’s so old. Van asks Jackie to come into his office and he cracks a joke on her shirt and he finally admits to paying Gabe (Ryan Alvarez) and Noah (Brandon Plush) to feed him jokes so he can get close to the company chairs at the retreat. Jackie leaves and awakes a sleeping Emily at her desk. Jackie asks why does she do so much for the team especially since they act like children. Emily disagrees with the children comment until we see they’ve placed 200 post-its on Teddy’s body and Ron, in a cute childish voice, says they’ve run out. They’re all ready to go and say what they’re ready to do, to which Ron says he wants to beat Teddy up after he named he’s ready to go to a honey tasting instead of being in the lazy river with them. Emily reiterates they can’t leave without Dorothy and she doesn’t want to give away her “I can’t eat that. I’m diabetic.” catchphrase shirt. An alarm goes off and the group tries to figure out what does it mean. The alarm indicates it’s a gas attack and the news informs them it’s from Dr. Psycho and it could take twelve hours to disperse. Of course, Teddy uses this opportunity to point out to Ron that this is something a Supervillain would do. Emily suggests they go to the busses and reads more in the manual that the building could go on lock down. Before she can fully get the words out the building goes on lockdown, Van uses this opportunity to tell a gas joke and Emily groans because they’re going to miss the retreat.
Van says a burrito-gas joke about Jackie when Wendy says she can’t believe it’ll take twelve hours for the city to be okay. Emily is upset because she needed this retreat and Teddy blames her because they are waiting on Dorothy and mentions they’d all be yelling at Wendy for drawing private parts on sleeping people’s faces on the bus right now. Emily expresses concern for Dorothy and Ron shows her a picture of the old lady surrounded by guys already at the retreat. Van tries to calm the group down, but it doesn’t when he gets a text that his helicopter can’t make it to him because of the gas. Determined to make it right, Emily tells the group to give her twenty minutes so she can set something up for them to enjoy. She mentions karaoke and they all reject it again. Van again takes the opportunity to joke on Jackie and she glares at Noah and Gabe. Emily reveals a beautifully decorated room to get the group to feel like they’re at the retreat. She says it’ll be like they’re there but recants the statement once they start mentioning water activities. Emily again pushes for karaoke and mentions the Kelly Clarkson album she has but the group is still against it. After some hours the group is relaxed and admit they don’t hate their current predicament. Ron says they owe a thanks to someone and Emily cheers up getting ready to thank them but the group instead thanks alcohol. We can see the hurt in Emily but she plays it off and clinks cups with them. Emily suggests the desert island game and Wendy confuses it with seven minutes in heaven and chooses Van. Emily states the rules of the game is for you to pick someone to be stuck on an island with and, of course, Jackie wants to be by herself. Wendy chooses Van because he’s rich and would have people looking for him. Her answer turns dark once she elaborates more on why choosing Van and it scares him. Teddy chooses Ron because they’re besties but Ron choosing Jackie because she’s smart and possibly carries snacks hurts Teddy since he didn’t pick Ron to be practical, he would’ve chosen Emily for that, but because they’re bros. Ron opens up to Teddy about nothing being good enough for him and you needing to remain positive on a desert island. Wendy now takes the opportunity to joke on Teddy and why she wouldn’t pick him. Van then bets Tedd fifty dollars to prove he can’t hit the trash can with a tiki light, which would be the equivalent of him not knowing how to spear fish. Teddy throws the tiki light, missing the trash can and hits the window causing a leak. The alarm goes off and they all run to a different room.
Wendy closes the door to the new room and then Emily asks for gas masks. Wendy tells her they’re outside the door and Ron asks why did she bring them in there. Wendy lists all the cool tools they don’t need at the moment and a bucket for them to use the bathroom in for her reasons for choosing the room. She also mentions the karaoke machine to which Emily is relieved, but Teddy breaks it. Jackie now picks Teddy to be on the desert island with because of this move and Teddy gloats to Ron. Emily tries to diffuse the tension with a plan. She then asks who went in the bucket and Van owns up to it and blames the drinks. Emily asks for the hazmat suits, but Ron shows her a picture that Dorothy and Randy took them for the costume contest she had planned for them at the retreat. Everyone gives reason for why they can’t go out into the gas to retrieve the masks. Van tries to joke on Jackie dying alone when Gabe reveals that Noah is the joke guy and he’s out in the gas. Jackie takes this opportunity to joke on Van about him being empty. Ron asks about Emily and she comes out in a makeshift suit. She uses a bucket as a helmet and Wendy assures it’s not the bathroom bucket. Emily asks how to get the masks and Teddy insults Ron’s favorite author by comparing the unreadable manual to his work. Emily asks them to calm down and hurries them because the lack of oxygen. Emily states she thinks the helmet is the bathroom bucket and Wendy owns up to it. Emily finally grabs the masks, but Noah comes up to her, rips the seal from the bucket helmet and gets real on why he works with Gabe. Teddy tells Emily not to breathe in but she does and then passes out.
Emily awakens and thanks Ron for asking if she’s okay, but then she gets real with them about how they treat her in the office. She tells them they don’t deserve matching gas masks because they didn’t want to wear matching shirts or do karaoke and throws the masks out. Emily paces back and forth and Van asks if it’s angry gas. Emily asks Van does he wipe by himself since she’s never seen him do anything and hopes Wendy eats him so he’ll then serve some purpose. This hurts Van’s feelings and he owns up to wiping himself since he was thirty years old. Ron turns on the news and S.T.A.R. Labs confirms its truth gas, but more than two sessions of two-hour exposure will kill someone. Wendy uses this news to try to stake claim to Emily’s stuff in case she does die. Teddy asks for Emily to come inside, but she drops more truth on how they make her feel for being unappreciative and digs into Teddy. Jackie tells them Emily isn’t coming in so someone has to go out. She doesn’t volunteer because it was her idea. Before Ron can fully object everyone puts a finger on their nose, making him “it.” They dress Ron up and Wendy gives him a cherry danish to give to Emily. He eventually runs into Emily and Teddy struggles to hang on to Ron from the other side of the room. Emily throws the danish and Ron comes running back. He tells them she was so mean and asks if he uses his cuteness as a crutch. Teddy tells him no and while they hug, Teddy and Wendy silently agree he does. Van gives a heartfelt speech on them doing something for Emily and Jackie points out what they need to do. They know exactly what it is and curse at the idea. Everyone has on their catchphrase shirts singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone” to lure Emily in. She takes the bait, joins in on the karaoke session and then faints. Wendy tries to draw a penis on Emily, but Teddy stops her. The next day Emily says she doesn’t remember anything and they thank her for the retreat substitute and everything she does. Ron tells her she’s family and she admits she has to trust them more. Emily jokes about going psycho and not knowing what that would look like and the group nervously laughs. Teddy invites her to karaoke. Emily excitedly agrees to join and asks can she sing Kelly Clarkson.