Powerless – Wayne Dream Team

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By: Jay Smith



Emily (Vanessa Hudgens) and Jackie (Christina Kirk) are headed to work when Emily suggests everyone wearing name tags with their favorite movies would be a good idea. She also tells Jackie she’s found an apartment in “Mu-To,” but Jackie quickly lets her know that’s short for “Murder Town.” They stop at a pastry cart and Jack O’Lantern (Kimani Ray Smith) decides to wreak havoc. He destroys the cart, ruining their breakfast plans.


Before the meeting starts, Emily asks for opinions but soon realizes she needs to change her max rent in order not to live in the poor terrifying parts of town. Van (Alan Tudyk) starts the meeting off by mixing up Greenland and Iceland before congratulating Emily on whipping the team in to shape and getting them recognized by the company. She makes a whipping noise and Ron (Ron Funches) isn’t pleased. He asks her if he needs to explain why that was inappropriate, but she knows why. Van tells the team corporate is greenlighting their “Rumbrella” project. Emily gives an immediate deadline for Friday, but Teddy (Danny Pudi) and the team are against and want a more relaxed deadline. Van vetoes their suggestion and agrees with Emily.


In the office, the team is congregated around a computer while Emily and Jackie look on. Emily runs the idea of inviting them out for bowling to Jackie and she quickly shuts down the idea because bosses and employees can’t be friends. Emily is still new in town and wants friends. She approaches the group with her project timeline and Teddy quickly shushes her to hear information about this year’s Superhero Fantasy League by Fantasy Matt (Jason Sims-Prewitt). Fantasy Matt suggests those with the top pick shy away from Superman this year. He comments that some weeks he’ll save plenty and other he’ll just save Lois Lane. Ron and Wendy (Jennie Pierson) taunt Teddy for picking Superman last season and losing. Emily finally interjects into their conversation to try and get involved with their league. Teddy tells her the league is full, but to save face she says she’s too busy for the league anyway. She tries to trash talk like she does in emails, but it doesn’t work.


During testing, Teddy explains the “Rumbrella” is supposed to protect the person using it from rubble during battle damage from superheroes and villains. Ron has dressed the dummy as his grandmother and gives her an imaginary back story on why she’s out during a battle. The rubble falls and instead of protecting her, the “Rumbrella” does nothing and the dummy loses her head. Because the test failed Emily lets the team know they’ll be having a long night and offers pizza. In the hallway, Van asks Jackie what’s wrong with the picture in front of them. She says there’s no women or minorities, which is true, but Van wants her to be serious. He’s missing from the photo and you can only see his shoulder. He blames her for this happening, but she sets him straight by letting him know he sent her back to the states for cufflinks because he didn’t want to wear the ones he had two days in a row. In a sarcastic tone, Van blames himself for asking too much of Jackie. He suggests he should start doing things himself and gets upset when she doesn’t give him the reaction he wants. Samuel Greene (Michael D. Cohen) sees them talking and mocks Van for not making the “dream team” photo. He jokes about being the face and being on Facebook and not Shoulderbook. Emily comes to the hallway and asks why Van isn’t in the picture. Samuel introduces himself to Emily as the Head of HR and offers assistance if she needs it. Emily thinks he’s nice, but Van compares him to a chimp that would suggest otherwise. Back at testing, the dummy is still losing its head. While explaining the importance of it the team is eating the pizza Emily bought and are watching SFL. Emily tries to understand why and how could they be watching SFL when they have a deadline. Teddy tells her to relax because they know how to manage their time.


The next day the team is back on the SFL and Emily expresses her frustration to Jackie. Jackie tells her to take charge because she’s the boss but Emily would rather not be the bad guy. Samuel walks around the office and stops at Susan’s (Claire Titelman) cubicle to tell her to get rid of her “inappropriate” photo of her daughter at her swim meet because it makes him uncomfortable. Jackie reiterates to Emily about being the bad guy in order for people to do what she says but Emily thinks it’s better to just find someone else to be the bad guy. Emily goes to Samuel and asks him the policy on SFL on company computers. He tells her they turn a blind eye unless it’s causing a problem.


Jackie approaches Van with a solution to the photo fiasco, but he already has his office set up for a one-man photo shoot session. He gloats about doing it himself, but Jackie spoils his moment by telling him what she thinks his plan is, which is him taking photos and photoshopping himself into the picture in the hallway. She desperately wants to help before something bad happens. He ignores her and continues with his plan. The employees are at their desks and can’t connect to SFL. Emily acts fake surprised and confused when the site is blocked. Things quickly turn bad when they all discover that the Internet has been shut off. The only site that they’re allowed on is LinkedIn. Wendy says she knows who did this. A guilty Emily almost confesses when Wendy suggests it was HR. Emily quickly agrees and tries to get them all back to work. Ron ignores that and wants to figure out how to get the Internet back instead because they’re engineers. The team agrees to put everything aside until they figure this out. Emily heads back to Samuel to complain about the Internet Ban. She explains she only wanted SFL blocked and now all they’re doing is trying to get the Internet back instead of doing the work. Samuel asks Emily what she thinks HR does. Flustered she can’t answer the question. He closes the door and admits to her no one does. He levels with her that the only way he gets to keep his job is if corporate sees him doing something. She pleads with him to lighten up, but he threatens her with a si hour anti bullying video.


Wendy does something to the computer hoping it brings the Internet back, but it only causes a power surge. Ron notices Emily coming out of HR and asks if she made the whipping noise from this morning’s meeting to other black people. She admits to being in there for trying to get the Internet back for them, but doesn’t fess up to her being the reason for it being taken away. The team is touched she would do that for them and kick Susan out of their league to make room for her. They get back to work on the “Rumbrella” for her and to have it done by the designated deadline of Friday.


Back in the hallway Van unveils the new corporate picture to Jackie and she wonders if the fingers guns are too much. Van doesn’t think so and is on cloud nine about accomplishing this task all on his own. The team sees the photo and Jackie gives them the info for them to get a copy of the pic Van used to photoshop himself into the corporate photo. Emily also gloats to Jackie about how she currently has the team working and finding the boss/friend middle. Jackie doesn’t believe it and asks Van can bosses and employees be friends. He laughs while saying no and says it’s a myth like the Yeti. The team jokes on Van with fingers guns and Emily wants to know what that’s about. He takes her to the corporate photo and see he’s been turned into a meme. The employees mock him again with everyone doing fingers guns and present him with a cut out of himself of the picture with the finger guns. Samuel is furious and writes everyone up so they have to watch the 6 hour anti bullying video this weekend. Emily calls him ridiculous and this makes Samuel tell everyone that she’s the reason why they lost the Internet.


The team invites Susan back into the league only to spite Emily. Emily explains why she did what she did because she wanted them to do their job without procrastinating. They’re really hurt and tell her they would’ve gotten it done because that’s their system. Jackie surprises Van with the complete corporate photo which shows him making a dumb face at the camera. In their own unique way, Van thanks her and she imitates finger guns at him for her victory. The team changes the dummy from looking like Ron’s grandma to Emily. While getting their frustrations out on the dummy, Samuel walks in and lets them know they no longer have to watch the video and the Internet is back up. They want to know why but he can’t discuss it with them. Emily is in his office and agrees to watch the video four times so Samuel meets his quota and the employees don’t have to watch it and receive the Internet again.


On hour six of the video, Emily listens to the villain, Prince Evillio (David St. James), talk about bullying. At hour fourteen he reiterates about knowing the meaning of R. E. S. P. E. C. T. By the 24th hour Jackie grabs the team and tells them what Emily has done for them. She wasn’t going to until Emily started twitching. They get Emily out of the room and give her coffee. Emily apologizes again and the team offers a baby step in to the boss and employee friendship territory by inviting her back into the league.


They give her advice on who to choose for her pick and she picks Crimson Fox because she met her. Van tells Jackie he left his cuff links in Greenland and that she must retrieve them for his dinner tomorrow. She presents him with the cufflinks, but before he leaves or even says thank you he’s miffed they’re not polished. Emily still doesn’t understand why Jackie puts up with Van and she tells her of all the nice things he’s done for her over the years. The team presents their final presentation of the “Rumbrella” to Van and Emily. In the scenario Teddy paints the picture of his #1 draft pick Flash fighting Zoom and causing destruction. With the rubble shielding the dummy with the umbrella and bouncing the debris to the ones without, it forces everyone to have one in order to stay safe. Van is happy with the idea and heads back to his office to which we assume to tell corporate of the success. Fantasy Matt gives current updates and Flash is captured, which makes him out for the season and Crimson Fox saves a cruise ship which bumps her up in the league. Emily finally nails trash talk in person, but soon relents after making the comment about owning all of them and making Ron uncomfortable for the second time in one week.

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