Preacher – Dirty Little Secret
By: Kelly Kearney
Fans of the comic book series were hoping that when “Preacher” made it to the screen it wouldn’t shy away from the often scandalous and blasphemous themes. Episode 10 was proof that not only do the show runners understand the genius of the material but have no qualms about offending a few to entertain the masses. In this week’s episode we learn that everyone, from Cassidy to Featherstone to Jesus Christ himself, have a few “Dirty Little Secrets” they’d like to keep hidden.
A Heavenly Conception…
Jesse (Dominic Cooper), Tulip (Ruth Negga) and Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) have been on a search to find God whose bounced from his heavenly post for a simpler life of jazz music and strippers. Little do the three know that the story goes much deeper than a missing bored deity who loves a great Sax solo, it all started with a forbidden tryst and a secret the Grail’s been keeping for thousands of years. It begins in a flashback to the night the Christ child was conceived. Jesus (Felipe Fuentes) is working his way through the Karma Sutra with a married woman (Carrie Lazar) and it’s obvious this is his first time he’s pulled the “savior train into the lady station” if you know what I mean. Of course, his companion gets slightly freaked out when the Son of God professes his love but quickly reminds her that their roll in the hay must remain a secret. Jesus goes from enamored virgin to one-night stand mode fairly quickly when he tells the woman he has to leave and fulfill a promise to his father. Que the disciples (minus shady Judas) who are banging on the door wondering where Christ ran off to since he said he was going to the garden to pray. The men are suspicious since this love nest doesn’t really look like a garden and the only shout outs to God muttered were certainly not of the prayer kind. Jesus lies to the men and claims he went to the garden and then came to pray with this woman, but from the looks of the tattered and sweaty sheets and the naked woman under them some of the disciples are not buying it. As Jesus leaves to go fulfill his father’s wishes, one disciple (Finch Nissen) hangs back to let the woman know that her secret is safe with him.
Cassidy Learns to be a Father
Picking up where last week’s episode left off, Jesse and Herr Starr (Pip Torrens) meet in a local bar where the leader of the Grail explains the history of the group and offers to take Jesse on a road trip of enlightenment. Starr places a bag over Jesse’s head and then explains the reason the Grail exists and offers some insight into what they’re protecting. To make sure Jesse really understands the scope of the Grail’s importance, Herr Starr takes him to meet two men whose truths he can’t possibly ignore.
Back at Denis’ (Ronald Guttman) apartment, Tulip is still suffering from her evil cowboy induced nightmares. After days of insomnia, she wakes in a panic at the kitchen table and looks for Jesse, who is again amongst the missing. She finds Cassidy thinking he knows where the preacher wandered off to, but Cassidy is far too busy playing twister with his newly undead son and a couple of prostitutes. It seems Cassidy is trying to make up for 80 plus years of being a bad father. He’s giving in to Denis’s every whim and his son’s current whim is traumatizing hookers with his vampy needs. Since Cass was otherwise occupied he has no idea where Jesse is so Tulip decides to make breakfast to keep herself busy. Halfway through whipping up the batter for delicious Boo Berry pancakes, there’s a knock at the door and it’s Jenny/Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery) looking for her gun. It’s obvious Tulip is having issues and Jenny offers a friendly ear and some help cooking. If Featherstone wasn’t a maniacal zealot Hell bent on destroying Tulip and Jesse, she would probably make a decent friend. The two trade war stories about the men in their lives. Of course, Jenny is lying about hers but she listens and supports Tulip regardless of the con she’s pulling. The girl talk is cut short when Jenny becomes smitten with Cassidy after he interrupts their conversation to say he and Denis are heading out. Unlike Jesse, Cassidy is always concerned with Tulip’s wellbeing and doesn’t want her to worry if she wakes up to him gone. Jenny is enamored by the Irishman and tells Tulip that she’s always had a thing for damaged guys that are all elbows and Adam’s apples. Maybe Featherstone has a chance because Cassidy certainly has a thing for bad ass lethal women.
The Pope Will See You Now
Jesse and Herr Starr’s road trip leads them to Grail headquarters where The Pope (Tom Thon) and Archbishop (David St. Thomas) are waiting for them. Jesse mentions that God is missing, but they’re not buying it and seem more concerned with some centurion ass kicker that they refer to as “the boy.” When the two men leave, Jesse uses Genesis to demand Herr Starr tell him who this boy is that they’re referring to. The truth was not something that Jesse was ready for, the boy is the messiah (a/k/a the Christ child).
Starr explains the story in a flashback, where we see the Christ child’s birth and the first time the Grail kills someone to protect its secret lineage. The minute the newborn takes its first breath, the mother is killed to protect the truth. Herr Starr admits the bloodline has created twenty-seven of Christ’s offspring over the centuries and Jesse demands Starr take him to meet the current Messiah.
Back in New Orleans, Cassidy is having issues with his son’s new appetite and tries explaining to Denis that the key to modern vampirism is moderation. Right now, Denis is fueled by desire but he needs to tone down his blood thirsty needs to a daily blood bag and the occasional kitty. Denis wants no part of Dad’s lecture and winds up scaring off their dates when he gets a little nippy with one of them. Cassidy isn’t the only one with problems, Jenny slips up when she mentions the gang’s time in Dallas to Tulip. Tulip never mentioned Dallas before so Featherstone heads to the bathroom to calls Hoover (Malcolm Barrett) in for help. Tulip accuses Jenny of lying about who she is and demands she tell her the truth. Luckily for Featherstone, Hoover shows up to play the part of her drunken abusive boyfriend Rodney, who’s pounding down the apartment door looking for his ex. Rodney hits Jenny with a left hook and Tulip, being the feminist hero that she is, knocks him out with a frying pan while Jenny finishes him off with a swift kick to the gut. If these two women could find a way to get over their differences they would be a force to be reckoned with but we all know this new friendship can’t last when the Grail is calling the shots. With the scuffle curtailing the conversation about Dallas, Tulip takes Jenny to the bathroom to patch up a head wound from the fight. Jenny changes the Rodney subject when she points out the loose tile in the bathroom floor, telling Tulip she’s a worldly woman who could easily fix it. Of course, Featherstone has the entire apartment bugged and knows the tile is loose because Jesse hid the Saint of Killer’s weapons under the bathroom floor. The double agent is hoping the sleep deprived woman finds them which will push her and Jesse even farther apart.
Humperdoo the Messiah
After taking every mode of transpiration available, Jesse and Herr Starr finally make it to the Messiah hide out. What the preacher finds isn’t exactly what he was hoping for. Jesse thought the child who is now a man, would know how to find God. The preacher was not prepared for an inbred simpleton that introduces himself by urinating on Jesse and humping Herr Starr like an over sexed puppy. Jesse is shocked that the fate of mankind is in the hands of a drooling buffoon the Grail named Humperdoo (Tyson Ritter). Besides shock he’s also angry that Herr Starr never helped him complete his mission to find God, the trip was a waste of time.
Back at the apartment, Cassidy is home with a new chest tattoo but no Denis, who decided to take his new immortality out for a spin. Tulip questions if that was a smart idea and Cassidy is so high on fatherhood he didn’t even consider the real dangers of Denis’ new urges. Next door, Featherstone and a bruised and battered Hoover watch them on the monitor in disgust. Featherstone wishes she could’ve just killed Tulip, but Hoover reminds her that their boss ordered them to stand down. They notice that Tulip took Jenny’s advice to patch up the loose floor tile and she’s uncovered the hidden weapons. Jesse told her that he’d gotten rid of the Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish), weapons and all, but as Tulip places the cowboy’s guns and swords on the kitchen table, she knows her boyfriend lied to her. Could these hidden weapons be what’s giving her these nightmares?
Jesse will have to answer to Tulip about the Saint of Killers, but for now he’s too busy obsessing over his mission. After meeting Humperdoo, Herr Starr lets Jesse in on one more secret that might put an end to his God search once and for all. The Grail has no idea of God’s location but if Humperdoo is any indication of that lineage, why bother looking? He tells Jesse that Genesis chose him so why look for God when the Preacher can just be God? Jesse is outraged and says that’s blasphemy but the man laughs it off as simple semantics. After years of killing innocents to protect the inbred line of Humperdos, Starr is jaded. He explains that when Jesse Custer’s file crossed his desk, he saw the preacher as a way out of this mundane existence. With a blood faced Denis wandering home in the background, Herr Starr leaves Jesse with one final warning about his search. Jesse can’t find God on his own and he’s doubtful his friends will be of much help. Finding God might be as easy as Jesse Custer stealing the throne for himself. “Think about it,” Starr says as he drives off and it’s doubtful, Jesse will be able to think of anything else.