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Pretty Little Liars – Hold Your Piece

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By: Michelle Lopez

 

Spencer (Troian Bellisario) realizes that living in the same house as Rosewood Jumanji isn’t the best idea when it comes to life playing an annoying audio clip of a shrieking baby through its phone controller. She tries muting it and turning it off it keeps on shrieking. Eventually, she sends an SOS to Emily (Shay Mitchell), Hanna (Ashley Benson) and Aria (Lucy Hale). They arrive to find Spencer holding the phone wrapped inside of a pillow wrapped inside of a blanket. Even though AD is poking fun at Spencer being a “Dickensian foundling,” she refuses sleep in the same house as Veronica. They pass the phone around like a hot potato until Hanna catches it and everything goes silent. It’s Hanna’s turn to play the game.

The next morning at the loft, Caleb is (Tyler Blackburn) full of good news. Mona got Hanna on the front page of the style section of the paper. While Hanna goes to grab some early morning Champagne to celebrate, Emily checks the fashion blogs to see if Hanna’s dress made the cut. Emily doesn’t find Hanna, but she does spot a headline reading “Stolen Design on Senator’s Daughter.” Ruh roh.

Namaste, Bitch

Hanna’s convinced that Jenna is behind the blog post since she was wearing the dress last episode. She’s ready to march over to The Radley and slap the glasses right off her face again, but Jenna checked out last night. Caleb suggests they use bluesnarf on Sydney (Chloe Bridges) and follow her to Jenna. He begins to explain how his bluesnarfing gear works to them, but Aria gets distracted by the news. Nicole (Rebecca Breeds) is on talking about how imagining seeing Ezra again is what helped her survive her captivity. Caleb sees Aria checking out and offer to give her space, but she claims to be fine.

Hanna is busy with AD’s game so Emily steps into help Aria stalk Sydney. They do some quick website paging and find out way too much about her life. The newest posts show that she attended the same gala as the Senator’s daughter and probably tipped off the fashion blog. They jump to the conclusion that Sydney may have been the one that shot Spencer.

Across the street from where Sydney’s eating lunch, Aria hooks Emily up with the bluesnarfing gear and sends her out to casually confront Sydney. Emily tries to act like it’s a random meeting, but Sydney is not an idiot. Emily asks why Sydney was working with Jenna, but she plays it off like Jenna asked Sydney to impersonate her as a joke. Having said all that she can, Sydney runs off and Aria has successfully bluesnarfed her.

They follow her and listen in on a call she makes with a doctor’s office. She pays for a surgery to give Jenna some new eyes from one of her account holders that is an “anonymous donor” or AD. Emily and Aria follow her on foot and confront her for lying. Aria has no chill and twists Sydney’s arm and shoves her into a wall while demanding info on AD. They try to get Sydney to lead them to Jenna, but after getting accosted she’s not in a sharing mood. She tells them she’s just doing what her banking client asks of her and storms off after dropping “namaste, bitch” like OG Ali. They didn’t get the information they wanted from Sydney, but Aria dropped a GPS tracker in her purse so they’ll get the info they need soon enough.

Spicy Tuna Roll?

Hanna finally gets the text she’s been dreading. AD tells her to answer the door as someone pounds on it like the Terminator. She freezes so Caleb answers the door. He in turn freezes because AD has dropped off a Hanna mannequin or Hannequin. With the reveal, Hanna is forced to explain Rosewood Jumanji to Caleb. He remembers from the bell tower incident that the doll talks so he pulls the string and it tells Hanna to “please see the appendix.” Caleb leaves Hanna to figure out the riddle while he tries to break into the game board.

Lucas (Brendan Robinson) stops by to let Hanna know that one of the investors they had planned on meeting with that night figured out the blog post was about Hanna. He tries to make it seem like not a big deal, but if it turns out to be true they’ll all drop out leaving Lucas to absorb a mess of legal fees. He tells her to bring her sketchbook and some designs to The Radley and everything will be fine.

Instead of preparing for her meeting, Hanna is searching through every book in the loft trying to figure out what appendix AD is talking about. She calls Caleb to check in and he’s having no better luck breaking into the game board. She finally figures out AD meant the appendix of the Hannequin so she sets up a Dexter murder room and cuts into the Hannequin with a giant kitchen knife. Blood gushes out and she pulls out a bag that says, “wear me.” She rushes over to the barn to beg Caleb to break into the gameboard and end this nonsense before she’s forced to wear the dress AD left her. It’s super short or as Caleb put it, it’s everyone will see her spicy tuna roll short.

Spencer gets home to find Caleb working on the gameboard and it’s awkward. Spencer decides to fight through the awkward and try to get back to a friendly place so she offers him a beer. While Spencer’s not looking, Caleb pulls one of the buildings off the board and gets shot in the face with some gas that knocks him out. Spencer calls 911 and then texts Hanna to let her know Caleb’s headed to the hospital. Hanna ditches her meeting and AD’s game to go make sure he’s ok. Caleb is fine, but worried about Hanna skipping her turn in AD’s twisted game. Hanna doesn’t care because Caleb’s more important.

Winning on an Existential Level

Marco (Nicholas Gonzalez) runs into Spencer at The Brew and buys her a cup of coffee while asking her to spend the day with him. She’s hesitant because of the whole covering up a murder thing, but ultimately agrees. They take their coffees and head over to a local rec center Marco spent his childhood at. Spencer isn’t quite done throwing herself a pity party over her newfound status as a Dickensian foundling so she’s got a bit of snark to throw Marco’s way thinking he’s brought her there to volunteer. Turns out he’s reserved the room for the day so they go ahead and play some ping pong.

A while later, Spencer’s beats Marco in their latest game because of course she was the ping-pong champ for five summers at riding camp. She thanks him for the date because she needed a win on an existential level with all her recent family nonsense. Marco is glad to get a break from work and proceeds to ramble about all his cases which kills Spencer’s victory high since she’s directly involved in every single one of those cases. Marco ends his rant when he notices Spencer’s GSW bleeding and rushes off to find a first aid kit. While she waits for him she notices a painting on the wall Marco made when he was a kid.

As Marco patches Spencer up, she comments on the painting so he tells her the story behind it. Marco’s mom was a drug addict so the lady running the rec center, Gloria, became a second mom to him. His mom is clean now and they talk once a month. Hearing about someone who’s family is just as messed up as hers snaps Spencer out of the pity party she’s been throwing herself since the Mary revelation. Oh, and they kiss.

Happily Never After

Spencer runs into Toby (Keegan Allen) at The Brew and apologizes for not visiting him after their last awkward visit. He doesn’t mind because he’s got great news, Yvonne (Kara Royster) is finally awake. Spencer tries for small talk, but Toby’s got to get back to Yvonne.

At the hospital, Toby and Yvonne work on getting her motor skills back up to snuff. After a few successes, Toby decides to whip out some wedding rings and ask Yvonne to get married today. She’s touched and a little sedated so she agrees.

That night after the “ceremony” that may or may not have happened in the legal sense, Toby and Yvonne celebrate with some vending machine desserts. They talk about all the places they want to travel once they get away from Rosewood. Toby asks Yvonne if she’s happy and with her last breath she says she is “the happiest.” Toby should have gotten Yvonne out of Rosewood as soon as he fell for her because as a woman of color it was only a matter of time until Rosewood killed her. RIP Yvonne.

Fin

Hanna meets the liars in the hospital waiting room as they try and figure out what’ll happen to Hanna’s puzzle piece since she never finished her turn. Hanna’s annoyed because she had to burn her career to the ground while Spencer had to go have an awkward conversation with her ex-boyfriend. Aria realizes that’s AD’s goal, if the liars are bickering over the game they’ll be distracted from hunting down AD. Aria and Emily get a notification from the tracker in Sydney’s purse and Emily drops Aria off at home before following.

Spencer heads over to Yvonne’s room for a visit, but as she approaches she sees hospital staff rolling out a crash cart. A few seconds behind them is an emotionally destroyed Toby. Spencer rushes over to him as he collapses on the ground and quickly realizes what happened.

Aria is leaving Ezra a message as she gets back to his place. Sabrina quit with no notice and Aria’s not sure how to interview bakers for The Brew. She wants to be supportive while he deals with Nicole, but she’s out of her element. As she rambles a dark figure rises in the living room scaring the ever-living hell out of her. Aria grabs a giant kitchen knife and tells the person to stay away from her, but the person keeps moving forward. Much to Aria’s surprise the intruder is none other than Nicole.

At the Rosewood PD, Marco has gotten a decomposing finger in the mail. I guess we know what the cost is for not playing AD’s game.

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