Pretty Little Liars – Till DeAth Do Us PArt

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By: Michelle Lopez

We open with a scene from an alternative “Pretty Little Liars” universe, Mona’s (Janel Parrish) adrenalized hyperreality to be exact. The liars are outside The Grill talking about Mona’s successful line of handbags, ice panty liners and how boring their lives are without A. Lucas (Brendan Robinson) tap dances past them followed by Jenna (Tammin Sursok) atop a horse. It begins to snow and we zoom out of this universe in Mona’s snowglobe to the “real” Liar universe. Mona drops her snowglobe when a black hoodie walks in. Mona’s shocked by A’s identity and asks if they’re there to kill her.

One Year Later
Aria (Lucy Hale) and Ezra (Ian Harding) are at the WB lot gushing over how amazing their week is. They’re getting married and their book might become a movie.

Spencer (Troian Bellisario) and Melissa (Torrey DeVitto) are finally getting along and rescuing horses. While out taking care of said horses, Spencer notices Toby (Keegan Allen) admiring his old truck that Spencer bought on eBay. Toby’s spent the last year in Africa and is just returning to Rosewood. Spencer introduces Toby to her shy horse who takes a liking to him despite being terrified of strangers.

Emily (Shay Mitchell) and Alison (Sasha Pieterse) are raising their twins, Grace and Lily. Ali meets in secret with Pam (Nia Peeples) to discuss acquiring Emily’s grandma’s wedding ring to propose with. In school, Alison and her class discuss Then and Now, Aria and Ezra’s book, and how it relates to the theme of story endings. Addison (Ava Allan) takes this opportunity to flex her mean girl muscles and comment on how Aria is the reason the book doesn’t have a happy ending followed by calling Ali a “lesbo.” After class Alison and Addison get into it. In the hallway, Addison gets into it with Jenna who ends their encounter calling Addison a bitch.

Hanna (Ashley Benson) and Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) are at odds because Caleb still doesn’t understand that Mona is Hanna’s ride or die. Hanna agreed to be Mona’s sponsor upon her release from Welby which means Mona’s going to be living with them for a while. There’s a knock on the door and Caleb storms off while Hanna lets Mona in. Hanna and Caleb are going to a party so Mona’s going to be alone for the night.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
Spencer and Alison are hosting the party at the renovated Lost Woods Resort. We briefly flash to the empty loft. Mona’s skipped out. The liars and company sit around a fire pit sipping mojitos and chatting about the wedding. Ella (Holly Marie Combs) and Diane (Mary Page Keller) have been at each other’s throats while planning. Spencer notices the tension between Hanna and Caleb so she pulls Hanna aside to figure out what’s going on. Hanna tells Spencer about being Mona’s sponsor which Spencer doesn’t agree with since she too doesn’t understand that Mona is Hanna’s ride or die. While the liars are enjoying their night, Melissa in a black hoodie lurks in the shadows. After a while, the groups start to split apart.

Emily and Alison haven’t been out in months so they’re going to retire for some PG sexy fun times. Alison gets overly sentimental, assuring Emily she’ll never be alone effectively killing the mood.

Hanna and Caleb leave to have sex because Hanna’s ovulation app tells them they have to. Afterward, Hanna’s lying in bed with her legs against the wall trying to assist in getting pregnant. Caleb’s got a bone to pick because she made the decision to insert Mona into their lives without consulting him.

Spencer and Toby head off to Toby’s room to spend the night playing Scrabble. After Toby falls asleep, Spencer makes her final play on the board and heads to her room.

Aria and Ezra have some pre-wedding sex. In the middle of the night, Aria’s awoken by a phone call that sends her fleeing to the lobby and breaking down. Spencer hears Aria while she’s walking to her room and rushes over to find out what’s wrong. Aria tells her that she can’t marry Ezra. The rest of the liars join them and urge Aria to tell Ezra whatever her secret is but Aria is afraid it’ll cause Ezra to call off the wedding.

Outside the black hoodie peels off a Melissa mask to reveal Mona. She video calls AD who hides their identity with a Mona snapchat filter. Mona informs them of whatever Aria secret is and urges them to use it against the liars but AD isn’t playing a regular A game. Mona’s recon mission was just a test by AD to see if they can trust her.

The Next Day
A very distressed Aria knocks a wine glass onto the floor, which is enough to trigger another breakdown. Ezra rushes to her side asking what’s wrong and Aria blurts out that she can’t have kids. Ezra assures Aria that it’s not the end of the world; they can find a surrogate or adopt.

Hanna and Caleb arrive home to a seemingly empty loft. They call out for Mona and when they don’t get an immediate response Caleb assumes the worst. He begins calling the police when Mona walks out of the bathroom. She’d been in the shower and didn’t hear them calling. Caleb gives Mona a look that screams “I don’t trust you,” but Mona’s not phased.

Spencer visits Mary (Andrea Parker) in jail. It’s been weeks since Spencer’s last visit and she had Mary worried. Spencer asks Mary how she’s holding up – Mary’s taking it day by day and trying not to lose hope. Realizing she said the H word, Mary quotes Spencer’s favorite line “hope breeds eternal misery.” In a very un-Spencer move, she says that’s the old Spencer’s motto and then asks Mary for help with something.

Rehearsal Dinner
Hanna’s brought Mona along since Caleb refuses to leave her home alone. Everyone has an issue with it. Ashley (Laura Leighton) begins to scold Hanna when “Emison” takes over followed by Aria. Hanna apologizes for the surprise and begs the liars to pretend that Mona is a friend for one night.

Ezra brings Byron (Chad Lowe) a glass of serious scotch and they discuss Ezra never asking for Byron and Ella’s blessing. Byron assures Ezra that he has it after proving that Aria’s happiness is his priority.

Diane rips into Ella for calling “Foie gras nuggets” casually as “cocktail wieners.” Ella thought it was funny, but Diane looks about ready to strangle Ella. Diane storms off and Ella requests and an entire bottle of wine from the bartender. Veronica (Lesley Fera) and Ashley wander over to comfort Ella. Peter’s mother was just as bad so Veronica sympathizes. Ella wishes they were back in the DiLaurentis basement because it was peaceful being trapped there. Veronica begins to talk about how they got out, but drops it because it’s a bit too traumatic a memory to discuss at a party.

Toby offers Emily his services as a manny for the twins since he hasn’t gotten to meet them yet. Emily gets distracted by a few of Addison’s posse working the party. She reminds them that they have a choice who they’re friends with but both Hadley (Celesse Rivera), Maya’s niece, and Willa (Sydney Sweeney) aren’t going risk the wrath of Addison. The girls rush off and Emily notices Pam putting something in Alison’s purse. Emily starts to go to them, but when they notice her they scamper off.

Outside the party, Spencer runs into Toby on her way to the car. She’s Veronica’s designated driver because the Wine Moms went hog wild. Toby offers to take Spencer up on her six-year-old offer to go riding and congratulates Spencer on winning their game of Scrabble. The word she played, Limerence, which means an unrequited love. They look like they’re going to have an important conversation, but the Wine Moms stumble out of the party and demand Spencer’s chauffeur services.

Before hoping in the car, Ashley lets Hanna know that she’s always on her side even when she’s wrong. Ashley isn’t keen on Hanna taking Mona under her wing since she’s tried to kill Hanna numerous times. She’s yet another person who doesn’t understand the bond between Hanna and Mona.

On their way home, Aria admits to Ezra that she’s known for a while that she can’t have kids but she wanted to get a third opinion before telling him. She was afraid it would be a deal breaker for him. Then, Ezra decides to make Aria’s problem all about himself. He’s pissed that Aria didn’t trust him enough to tell him about this and asks her why she wants to marry him if she thinks so little of him. Aria puts him in his place because this isn’t about him, it’s about her coming to terms with not being able to have children. Ezra apologizes, but declines Aria’s invite to go to her room to talk about it but Ezra’s hurt. He heads home after one final jab about Aria not having faith in him.

At home, Alison calls Emily out for ignoring her all night. Emily’s upset because she knows Alison and Pam have a secret. Alison tries to play it off as Emily being paranoid but Emily doesn’t back down. Alison relents and shows Emily what Pam gave her. It’s Emily’s grandmother’s ring which she intended to use in an elaborately planned proposal. Since Emily ruined that plan, Alison improvises and proposes to Emily in their living room wearing a pug sweatshirt. Of course, Emily accepts and they kiss.

In the loft, Caleb’s up watching infomercials when Hanna comes out to talk. She tells him that she hears him and will kick Mona out in the morning. That’s enough for Caleb so they go and try to make a baby.

Toby hears a knock on his hotel room door and tells room service to leave the cart outside. When they knock a second time he opens the door in just a towel to reveal Spencer. She plays coy for a minute before kissing him and taking him to bed.

Spencer seems to have magically transported to the barn. She gets out of the shower and hears some piano music playing. She calls out thinking it might be Toby, but lurking in the shadows is black hoodie Mona. She makes herself known and knocks Spencer out ala the season two finale.

Spencer wakes up in a cell. She looks at her reflection, but it’s not her reflection it’s her evil twin! Spencer is stunned and Mary rushes into the room to inject Spencer with a sedative.

Detective Maple (Jim Titus) stops by Alison’s house to let them know that Mary Drake escaped from prison. While at the Radley, Ezra finishes making some sort of reservation and heads toward the exit. He runs into “Spencer” and asks what she’s doing there.

Spencer wakes up a second time in her cell, but this time she’s chained to her bed and her evil British twin, Alex Drake (Troian Bellisario), is there to greet her. Spencer asks who Alex is and she dives into a flashback. In Britain, Alex was bartending when Wren (Julian Morris) walked in. He was convinced Spencer was messing with him when she didn’t know who he was, but he soon realized that this was her twin. Alex didn’t believe him about having a twin until he showed her a picture and explained her entire lineage. They fell in love and Wren set up a meeting between Alex and Charlotte (Vanessa Ray). They met when Charlotte fled the country in the Season Four finale. Cue second flashback. Charlotte and Archer Dunhill (Huw Collins) exited the plane together. Dunhill was infatuated with Charlotte and promised to call her the next day to get together, beginning their love affair. Charlotte entered the airport bar per Wren’s instructions and met Alex. Charlotte, Archer, Alex and Wren became a tight knit group yet after a while Charlotte missed the game too much to stay away. She left, promising Alex she’d return but she never did. After Charlotte’s death, Alex came to Rosewood to figure out who killed her so she became AD. When the game ended she returned to Wren, but after seeing Spencer’s life she decided she wanted to be Spencer more than Alex. Spencer is sure that Alex could never pull it off, but Alex already has. When Hanna was trapped in the barn it was Alex who comforted her. Alex is the one who asked Toby for a final kiss after he proposed to Yvonne. Alex was the one who hooked up with towel dressed Toby.

Spencer is disgusted that Alex is playing the same game Mary did with Jessica and Peter just to sleep with Toby. She asks what Wren thinks about her affair, but Wren’s out of the picture. After he supported Alex’s AD game and agreed to shoot her in the shoulder, so she’d have Spencer’s scar, Alex killed him. Alex has had enough story time because she’s got to get ready for Aria’s wedding.

At the church, the Liars plus Alex agree to hide Mary’s escape from Aria until after the wedding. Aria reveals her dress and everyone starts tearing up. Pam interrupts them to bring one of the twins in because she was acting up. Alex asks to hold the baby and wanders over to a corner where she tells the infant that Wren is the father.

Back in the bunker, Mary’s brought Spencer lunch, but Spencer’s in no mood for mother-daughter bonding. Mary didn’t know Alex was alive until she sprung her from jail so she never thought of mentioning her to Spencer. Mary sold Alex to a wealthy couple in England and used the cash to get out of Radley. The couple quickly realized that crazy runs in the family and dropped Alex off at an orphanage, which she ran away from and survived on her own until meeting Wren. Spencer, overwhelmed by her situation, breaks down and Mary rushes into the cell to comfort her. When Spencer’s calmed down a bit she leaves, but Spencer snagged a bobby pin.

At the church, Aria’s weeping because Ezra sent her a text calling off the wedding. Aria’s blaming herself because of their fight, but this situation’s got nothing to do with Aria. Alex went ahead and kidnapped Ezra after he called her out for acting weird at the Radley that morning. He wakes up in the bunker and snarks at Spencer about how he has real problems. Alex returns and mocks Ezra for not realizing that he met her at the airport when she was with Wren a few episodes ago. Then, she closes off Ezra’s cell so she can have private time with her sister. Spencer tries to reason with Alex, but it’s no use because she’s in love with Toby. Alex plans on keeping Spencer locked away forever since Mary saved Spencer when she shot her in the blind school in the 7A finale. Spencer asks about the A-team Alex assembled and the quick rundown is: Jenna wanted money for another eye surgery so she helped AD and recruited Noel. Sydney was a pawn because Alex blackmailed her. Sara Harvey was working alone because she thought Charlotte had hidden treasure in Radley. And Dunhill was working on his own because he was trying to avenge Charlotte’s death. Spencer knows she’s alive because Alex is her sister, but wonders what’s in store for Ezra. The answer is death.

Alex heads over to Aria’s hotel room where all the liars are fast asleep. She lays next to Aria and whispers that they’ll be the closest because Alex is team “Sparia.” The next day, Alex goes to the stable. The Liars and their friends might not be able to tell Alex and Spencer apart, but Bashful sure does. He freaks out when Alex approaches and only calms down when Toby shows up. Toby’s a little confused about the horse’s reaction.

Alex then goes to work where she sees Veronica walking Jenna out. Jenna’s seeking legal advice about something related to Addison and thanks “Spencer” for setting up the meeting. Jenna notices that Spencer smells different and when she asks about it “Spencer” blames her time at the stable. Jenna doesn’t buy it and leaves Toby a message about Spencer not being Spencer.

At Aria’s place, the Liars are trying to figure out where Ezra is when there’s a knock at the door. It’s a guy from a hot air balloon place who’s supposed to pick Aria and Ezra up to kick off their honeymoon. Since he made the reservation the morning of their wedding the Liars realize something’s not right. Caleb comes over and hacks Ezra’s life. He hasn’t spent any money and his car is in the Radley parking lot. They’re about to send an SOS to Spencer when Toby arrives and stops them. He finally looked at the book Spencer gave him when she asked for their last kiss and it’s not Spencer’s. They’re confused until Toby suggests her having a twin. The liars accept that answer because everyone has an evil twin. Mona’s downstairs in the Brew spying on the Liars and calls up AD demanding to meet because she’s been found out. Mona heads to Aria’s to fill the Liars in on what she’s learned. She’s been playing AD’s game because she wants to win once and for all. AD has given her coordinates, which turn out to be the house Toby built. They all rush over there.

In the bunker, Mary chases after Alex begging her to not hurt Spencer, but the jig is up and Alex needs to destroy the evidence of a twin. She knocks Mary out and grabs a fire ax on her way to the cells. Spencer has picked on the locks on their cells and they’re running through the bunker looking for a way out. They find an exit and seem to be outside, but they’re still underground. Alex has created the Russian nesting dolls version of a bunker. Alex catches up with them and takes a swing at Ezra, but Spencer knocks him out of the way and his head smashes into a rock knocking him out. Spencer and Alex wrestle over the ax until the liars and company rush in. Toby has a gun on them, but both twins are claiming to be the real Spencer. Toby asks what Spencer’s favorite poem is from the book she gave him and the real Spencer recites it in perfect French. Toby grabs Alex and a cop shows up to arrest her. Mona called 911 and the cops have already arrested Mary.

Aria and Ezra are finally getting married with a cameo by I. Marlene King. The next day the Liars walk through town discussing Aria’s honeymoon. Hanna reveals that she’s pregnant and Aria follows it up with her and Ezra’s plan to begin the adoption process as soon as they get back. When it’s time for Aria to leave they all breakdown because although Aria’s going to be gone for three weeks, the Liars are going to be out of our lives forever.

In France, Mona’s running a doll shop. Her boyfriend, who happens to be the “cop” that arrested Alex, shows up asking if Mona will be home for dinner. She promises to be home soon and heads down to the basement of her shop where she has Mary and Alex trapped as her dolls. It’s taken seven seasons, but Mona has finally won the game.

The final scene of the show is a repeat of the first scene, but with Addison’s crew. I guess nobody warned her that in Rosewood bitches get buried.

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