The Last Man On Earth – Karl

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By: Suzanne Fox


Karl (Fred Armisen) and his date Zoe (Leighton Meester) are at a table contemplating what to get for dinner. Karl starts talking about a visit with his doctor for the biggest, most voluminous boil his doctor had ever seen that was located on his backside. He encourages his date to touch the pats of butter on the table because it feels like what came out of the boil. Karl tells her so much came out that it “could have fed a family of four.”  The server then walks up and says that there are four specials.  Karl compliments his date and says she is comparable to one of the specials. They both orders salads and Karl requests a “soup to share” with one spoon. Fred tips the waiter after they place their orders and calls him by the wrong name.


Once the orders are placed, Karl starts to wave his hand in the air as if he is painting his date. He tells her that he would like to paint her like Jack did to Rose (in Titanic). Karl tells his date that he lives up the street and he could carry her there to paint her. Immediately Zoe picks up her cell phone, fakes a conversation with a friend and acts as if it is an emergency call. Karl’s date says her dog is sick and adamantly tells him that is not a fake call. Karl asks for the name of her dog. Zoe hesitates and bluntly states she does not know the dog’s name. Then, she leaves.


From the restaurant, Karl goes home with his soup in his hand. He enters his kitchen and puts his soup in the fridge. He then turns back around and opens the freezer. A decapitated head and hand are visible in the freezer.


The next morning, Karl is chopping vegetables in the kitchen.  The decapitated head is spinning in the microwave on defrost. Karl is on the phone with his Mom.  He tells her he has a question about a “dense pot roast.” His Mom suggests 450 degrees on broil. Enthusiastically, Karl agrees on the temperature.  While Karl cooks he sings along to Macy Gray’s song “I Try.” He gets mad at himself that he realizes he forgot the bouillon.


Then, Karl calls out for Zeus, his small dog. Karl informs Zeus they need to walk and get bouillon.  Zeus seems to have trouble going.  Karl asks him if he is backed up.  Karl turns his back on Zeus to give him privacy when he sees police cars zooming up to his apartment building. Karl runs off and leaves Zeus behind on the grass.


Karl is seen driving in his car when his cell phone pings with a “Fugitive Alert.” Karl pulls over, puts on his hazards and flags a stranger.  He asks the helpful driver (Martin Short) to help change his tire.  Karl suggests that he move the ax in his trunk in order to get what they need to change the flat. At this point, Karl can be seen raising his ax and then blood splatters onto his license plate. The letters on the plate read, “PPL PRSN.”


Karl is now in Mexico. He is walking around a flea market while talking to his Mom on a burner cell phone.  Karl tells her not to believe what she may hear and he doesn’t blame her.  He tells her he blames his Dad. Then, Karl tosses the cell phone into the trash.


Karl approaches a vendor who has various pieces of paintings on canvases for sale. He asks if they take American dollars. Karl buys a few pieces of art work.


Karl is now in an apartment in Mexico.  He is painting a portrait of a young Mexican man, who is sitting across from him. The man compliments Fred’s art work displayed around the apartment. This is the art work he purchased at the flea market. The man can’t see Karl’s canvas. Karl continues to paint and his work can be seen.  The canvas shows a humorous, childish portrait.


Karl walks into the bedroom to “search for the perfect brush” as he puts on an apron and gloves. Karl tells his artistic subject that he found the perfect brush and pulls out a knife from a drawer full of them.  While Karl is preparing to make a new kill in the bedroom, the Mexican man opens Karl’s fridge to get a drink and sees a head in the fridge.  The man bolts out the door. Karl walks out and sees the guy is gone.  Quickly, Karl grabs a stuffed duffel to run, opens his front door and then runs back to grab the head.


Now, Karl is in a local Mexican motel yelling into a pillow that he has to “stop this.” The next morning he is sleeping when Mexican police barge in with rifles. A female officer opens the small fridge in his room and sees the head from his apartment. Police arrest him for the decapitation. Karl tells them to be careful handling him because he has an “active boil.”


At the police station there is a lineup of four men.  The Mexican man who was being painted by Karl is there to identify him. All the men have to repeat the same line. Karl pretends to speak in a childish voice and utter the words in the lineup. The Mexican man identifies him before he finishes speaking.


A busy prison yard is seen filled with Mexican men exercising. Karl is doing portraits.  He paints a heavily muscled man named Javier.  Javier has a big Cobra tattoo. Karl asks Javier to turn around because he wants to paint his whole body.  Javier turns and sits with his back to Karl.  Karl starts to pull a shank out of his waistband.  At this point Javier falls over with blood poring out of his nose and dies before Karl can shank him. Sirens start blasting and all the inmates drop to the ground.  While on the ground, Karl whispers to another inmate, “Hey, have you ever been painted?”


While sitting in his cell, Karl is reading a book about eating. He comments that “Yes, I DO eat out of boredom.”


A guard named Martinez (Geoffrey Rivas) walks by wearing a mask over his mouth and nose.  Karl asks the guard why they are wearing masks.  The guard says there is something going around (the virus).


Time has passed and Karl is the only prisoner in the yard. Martinez tells him that his time is up and puts him back in his cell. All the other cells are empty. Karl tells the guard it is lonely in there.  He informs Martinez that he knows where to find him if he is lonely.


That night Martinez walks up with a chair and a six pack of beer.  Martinez sits outside Karl’s cell and they begin to have a conversation.


Karl and the guard are now friendly and sitting in the cafeteria together. However, Karl is in a straight jacket and strapped into a stretcher. They are playing two truths and a lie.


Karl asks why the guard is still at the prison.  Martinez tells him that his friends and family are dead.  Then the guard says they should go back to his cell. Excitedly, Karl asks to go back the long way and the guard takes him for a ride.


Martinez visits Karl while wheeling a cart full of food.  He tells him he has exciting news. Karl tells him that he can’t wait to hear it.  The guard says that he hears people are alive in the town Zihuatanejo and tells Karl to take care. Karl asks if he can be let out and insists he has changed. The guard tells him no since he is a serial killer.


Martinez leaves him enough food and drinks for two months- along with a noose. Martinez tell him it is now in God’s hands. Karl puts out his hand to shake and wish Martinez the best of luck. Abruptly, Karl yanks Martinez by the arm through the bars of the cell, grabs a can opener off the cart and kills him. Then he grabs the guard’s keys and runs out of the cell but Karl can’t get out of the prison.  Karl tries to turn off the alarm at the door of the prison but he is unable to escape.


Again, Karl is in alone in the prison yard. He stares up at the barbed wire. Karl contemplates ways to escape. Unsuccessfully, he tries to climb the fence.  Then he stacks many chairs on top of each other but they crash to the ground. Karl then tries to pole vault and that does not work. He creates a bomb that fizzles out. Lastly, he makes wings that do not fly.


Karl tries multiple codes on the alarm to get out through the door. He keeps track on the wall.  His latest attempt is number 07549. At attempt 07550 the power goes out.


Months have gone by, the power is out, and Karl is walking in a prison filled with trash.  His hair and beard are very long. He has created a memorial with a cross for Martinez in the yard.  Karl tells him “he deserves better than getting murdered.” Karl said he wanted to get out in the world to prove he doesn’t murder anymore and that he truly has changed.


At this point, Karl tells the Martinez memorial that he is getting out today.  Karl slowly walks towards the noose Martinez gave him. At this point he hears honking.


Quickly Karl runs to the fence of the prison yard and blasts his own siren, while rattling the fence and screaming! He runs around the prison; looking out windows. Karl sees that he looks very unkempt.


Suddenly, Todd (Mel Rodriguez) and Tandy (Will Forte) burst into the prison. They are looking for Jasper. They slide open the doors of a closed cell.  Karl is there wearing the guard’s uniform that says “Martinez.”  Karl is now clean shaven and his hair is trimmed.   He says to Tandy and Todd, “Hi, I’m Karl.”

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