The Vampire Diaries – Detoured on Some Random Backwoods Path to Hell

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By: Luke Joseph



“I’m On the Pathway to Hell.”




This quote was said by Miss Caroline Forbes (Candice King) in the Season One episode of “Let the Right One” in which taking a quick walk down memory lane is when the tomb vampires end up taking Stefan captive. In the episode a terrible storm is hitting Mystic Falls and while driving Caroline ends up being greeted to Vicki’s dead body after being detoured on some backwards path to hell. This title was more than fitting for last Friday’s episode of “The Vampire Diaries” considering the main mission is to find another path so they don’t end up in hell. It also deals with certain characters detouring from past promises and even friendships we’ll get to that later.


The episode opens up with showing us what not to do as a Nanny like kidnapping your boss’s kids, but as evil as Seline (Kristen Gutoskie) is at least she’s letting Lizzie and Josie (Tierney and Lily Rose) have ice-cream at a diner. The moment is interrupted as Sybil (Nathalie Kelley) and her evil henchman Damon (Ian Somerhalder) stroll in causing a not so warm sisterly reunion.  It doesn’t take long to put two and two together as Sybil realizes why her sister is so attached to the twins. Seline explains to her sister that she’s sorry for letting her rot in the vault, but she had to avoid being captured by the armory meaning she had to blend in. Seeing that “sorry” isn’t enough to land in her sister’s good graces, Seline tells her she plans to exchange the twins to Cade for their freedom.


Meanwhile back at Alaric’s (Matt Davis) home, we see that even vampire’s depend on the police as Caroline hands to the police officer a photo she had taken on her phone of the twins and Seline and a picture one of the girls had drawn of Sybil (very life like). Alaric disappears to get in touch with Seline where he shows he’s been watching a little too much of the movie Taken as he says, “I’m going to find you and I’m going to kill you.” Stefan (Paul Wesley) enters the home ready to partner up with Alaric and Caroline, but she informs him that he’s not coming on this rescue mission seeing as Damon will be there. Caroline hits him where it hurts as she removes her ring, dropping it into his hand and explaining, “Until all this is over, this is no us. There is only me and my kids and their father.”


Not wanting to feel powerless and keep his hero hair intact, Stefan stays behind to work with Matt (Zach Roerig) as they end up discovering their biggest tip is Enzo (Michael Malarkey). Seeing as they are desperate to get a lead, Stefan is able to go inside of Enzo’s mind where he realizes that Sybil is slowly killing Enzo by pulling an Augustine and removing his insides. Apparently, Sybil is a great multitasker because while not in his mind she remains at the diner munching away on bacon (Too bad she couldn’t choke on it. Maybe then it would have stopped her incessant humming/song.). It’s enough for Stefan to alert Alaric and Caroline and that causes an amber alert to display on everyone’s phone. Busted? Nope, because Seline is now using her siren powers to not cause a problem. By the time the parents arrive to the diner the girls have been loaded into the minivan.


“Why would Cade want the wonder twins instead of you…because their little faces don’t scream Grim Reaper to me,” Damon smoothly supplies as he glances back to see the twins asleep in the back. Seline goes onto explain how she’s actually been searching for centuries to find the perfect replacements for Cade. “They’re toddlers,” he’s quick to add (for someone with their switch flipped he sure seems to care about the twins wellbeing). In order to fit the bill you have to be supernatural and agree to serve him of your own free will (remember that). Ah, now it all makes sense as to why Seline had told bedtime stories, hung out and bought ice-cream for the little rugrats. She wanted to earn their trust believing that it will be easy to persuade them into joining Cade. If Cade agrees to this exchange the Siren Sisters will be released from his hold and, more importantly, their pathway to hell. This instantly catches Damon’s attention as he realizes that there is in fact a loophole that might give him the chance to exchange his first class trip to hell (seems like there are always loopholes which means there’s probably a loophole to break the link between Elena and Bonnie).  The conversation comes to an abrupt halt thanks to a roadblock and police officer in the middle of the road doing car searches for the girls. Once again Seline proves there are perks to being a siren when she plays with the officer’s mind making him believe the girls aren’t there. Close to making their getaway, Lizzie suddenly wakes up firmly stating she’s done with being told to go to sleep, reaching for Sybil’s wrist and burning her. This action seems to break the officer being entranced as he heads back over to the car, opening it to reveal the truth as Sybil strikes.


It seems that Damon isn’t just Sybil’s henchman, but also a part time chauffeur as he’s now the one behind the wheel and taking them to a motel. The last time Damon had been at a motel his time had been spent getting hot and heavy with Elena along with an ice machine getting familiar with them. Even though things are getting hot once again it’s not because of Elena, but rather Cade who he reveals he wants to summon. Hell no?


Back in Mystic Falls Stefan this time goes further not only getting into Enzo’s mind, but intervening and stopping Sybil from killing Bonnie’s true love (aww). Rather than be annoyed by this, Sybil tells Stefan to meet her at the motel alone because Damon has an offer to Cade that he believes he won’t refuse. This time instead of giving Caroline and Ric the right address he purposely gives them the wrong one so that he in fact can arrive to the motel alone and deal with the hell he’s about to greet. With this detour, frustrations are brewing causing Ric to finally let out said frustrations noting, “When we get them back I’m taking them away as far away from all of you as possible.” It seems like he’s including Caroline in this comment as well (ouch). Further lashing out, Ric states, “Darkness follows vampires everywhere you go. That’s what you attract.” He goes on to explain, but to be fair Ric your ex-wife turned vampire caused you to become a vampire hunter (following darkness) and then you later married Jo who had a supernatural background. So, you attract just as much darkness. Unfortunately, Ric isn’t being level headed putting all the blame on Caroline and going as far as saying she’s not even the twins biological mother (well gee Ric, she didn’t ask for Jo’s twins to be magically impregnated in her nor did she complain so cool it).


Hell is exactly what Stefan is greeted to when the welcome committee (Sybil ended up getting every human at the motel to try and kill Stefan because she wants him to embrace his dark side) is ready and waiting for him. Refusing to go against his saintly nature and take an innocent life, he proceeds to knock them out. Even though he’s gotten the hell beat out of him, he thinks he made it through the battle royal until big boy mammoth comes out with stake in hand ready to kill. Eventually, Stefan gives in by killing the man and even shedding a couple of tears for him (Okay Stefan, let’s not be so dramatic. The devil is in the other room, shake it off).


Back in the other room Seline is presenting her case to Cade (Wole Parks) and he seems close to accepting it until Sybil steps in to sweeten the deal proposing that Stefan and Damon take the twins place because they are two of history’s most prolific killers (Did they forget about the infamous Mikaelson brothers?). Both Salvatore brothers agree to this because for Damon serving Cade for an eternity means he won’t be heading to hell and for Stefan it means he’s getting the twins back. Yay, the girls are free and all is well! Only it’s not because even though Alaric apologized to Caroline she’s realizing maybe it would be best if the girls were taken away from all the doom and gloom. This once again shows even though she’s not biologically their mom she’s still acting like a mom by doing what she believes is best for the girls.


It seems like it’s a domino effect of apologies because after Alaric says sorry it’s Caroline’s turn to as she takes a seat beside Stefan and replaces the ring back on her finger. She then realizes Stefan must have done something in order to save the girls to which he says, “I gave Damon what he promised me – an eternity of misery (okay Stefan hold up Damon said that two years ago and he hasn’t wanted that for you for a long time so get off your high horse).” Anyways, Stefan explains to Caroline how he surrendered his immortal soul to Cade and will spend the rest of his life collecting the darkest of souls, delivering them to hell so that he in turn doesn’t end up there. So pretty much he’s doing exactly what Damon has been doing. Caroline doesn’t take the news so well. In fact, she’s quite crushed reminding Stefan how he had promised her a June wedding (he only has 24 hours before he becomes Cade’s servant). Well, Damon promised Elena (Nina Dobrev) to be her partner, husband and father of her kids but fate cruelly intervened just as it was now proving the Rolling Stones song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” to ring true.


Elsewhere, Sybil is getting her revenge on her sister explaining she had cut her out of the deal with Cade. She snarks, “The game’s not over yet (shame it needs to be over).” Bonnie and Enzo seem to be strong as ever when he gives true relationship goals of proclaiming she’s the whole damn world to him.


Alright. We’ve reached the closing part of “The Vampire Diaries” and if you are next to anything that you might be tempted to throw I highly suggest you moving away because we are about to hit the ugliest of detours. After thanking Matt for his help, Ric comes to realize that Matt and he can only take so much. Matt suggests fighting back and in turn the wheels in Ric’s head begin to turn as well. So what does this plan entail? Showing up at the Mystic Grill where Damon is drinking alone (Of all the gin joints he chooses The Grill. Doesn’t this show he’s still clinging onto familiarity?) results in Matt shooting Damon which is followed by Ric who is in the mood to vent off his frustrations.


“I can’t have my kids in danger anymore,” Ric explains as he knocks Damon down. Going on he says, “And they will always be endangered as long as you’re alive.” This results in Ric delivering punch after punch to Damon. What the hell? Is Ric suddenly getting old with age because had it not been for Damon’s plan the twins most likely would be referring to Cade as their daddy seeing as they’d be serving him. Um, Ric what are you doing with that dagger there? You’re not going to, oh he is. Okay, Damon fans shield your eyes! Saying, “This is for Tyler,” without another word he pierces the dagger straight into Damon’s chest. What, what, excuse me? Did that actually happen? Yes, it did because Damon is now turning a deadly shade of gray. What’s the most ironic part in all of this? The Grill is the place where Damon spent many nights with his best friend Ric taking part in a nightcap and later resulting in him making it his job to guard Ric’s “spot” after he dies. It seems Ric has forgotten all of this including when he told Stefan this is all the siren’s doing and not Damon. Yet Ric just leaves him for dead.


What’s the most heartbreaking part in all of this? Damon spent his last day watching someone who once was his best friend not only give up on him, but kill him. Meanwhile, Stefan gets to spend his last twenty four hours as a free man with the woman he loves. Alaric gets to go back home to his girls and Bonnie and Enzo spend their time wrapped up in each other. Damon, on the other hand, rots on the floor of the Grill. Everyone has someone to go home to except for Damon. Everyone has someone who is willing to fight for them except for Damon and everyone has someone who loves them (Damon does too, she’s slumbering away in a coffin and unfortunately he doesn’t remember her) except for Damon.

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