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UnREAL – Friendly Fire

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By: Taylor Gates

Rachel (Shiri Appleby) goes into Coleman’s (Michael Rady) office pretending to flirt. That doesn’t last long, however, as she’s followed by Quinn (Constance Zimmer) and her team of serious suited men who sweep his office for any trace of Rachel’s confession, including backups he might have already uploaded. Rachel says she doesn’t want to get carted off to some institution while he takes over “Everlasting.” Rachel also reveals she called up his ex-girlfriend. It turns out she broke up with him because he hired extras to act like Cambodian sex slaves in his award-winning documentary.

 

In the control room, Jay (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) fills Quinn and Rachel in on the romance explosion he planned for the finale. Quinn is unimpressed—the viewers want a literal shit show and she wants to see a bitch bleed. Quinn watches in irritation as Chantal (Meagan Tandy) and Tiffany (Kim Matula) show their vision boards to Darius (BJ Britt). During the presentation, Quinn notices Tiffany’s ankle bracelet. She goes to confront Chet (Craig Bierko), automatically knowing he and Tiffany are screwing considering the anklet is Chet’s one and only move. He even gave one to her when she was still a PA. Quinn brushes off Chet when he asks if she’s jealous, simply saying that it’s just tacky.

 

Darius is still unsure about proposing to Tiffany, but Romeo (Gentry White) and Jay put the pressure on him. He’s going to have to come clean about his injury soon and unless he wants to run a used car dealership in the middle of nowhere, he has to marry Tiffany.

 

Jay comes in the control room and announces Darius is picking Tiffany. Quinn is thrilled, which makes Jay suspicious. She tells Jay to make sure Tiffany picks the emerald-cut diamond because that’s what she’s getting. She sends everyone out of the room but Rachel. She tasks Rachel with getting Yael (Monica Barbaro) back on camera for the finale. Rachel isn’t confident she can do that considering she made her shit herself on national television, but Quinn says she absolutely needs her as she’s part of a much bigger, epic plan.

 

Rachel spies Coleman packing up his office on her way out. She snips that they’re only letting him keep the car because nobody else wanted it before confronting him about sleeping with Yael. Coleman defends himself, saying Rachel had just revealed shocking news about “Everlasting” and her mother—the instinct to run away was pretty human. Rachel wants to know if his family is aware that his whole career is based on lies, but Coleman dodges the question and goes for the jugular. He says the people at “Everlasting” are the only people that will accept her for the broken, vile person she is. He vows that his attempts to take down the show aren’t over.

 

Graham (Brennan Elliott) shows Tiffany and Chantal their ring options, distracting them from Quinn’s malicious plan.

 

Rachel goes to Yael’s room, apologizing for the diarrhea fiasco. She tries to blame everything on internalized misogyny, but Yael doesn’t buy it. She says Coleman tells her that Rachel is both crazy and dangerous. Rachel wants Yael to be the one to confront Tiffany about a hidden secret, but Yael doesn’t want to shame another girl just to get the attention off herself. Rachel entices her by saying all the cameras would be focused on her and the show could do more for her than just find her a husband.

 

Quinn tells both Tiffany and Chantal that Darius wants to marry them on live television that night and they need to get their families there. She also tells Tiffany she needs to dump Chet pronto.

 

Madison (Genevieve Buechner) doesn’t understand why Quinn told both girls they were going to win. Quinn says once she saw Anna (Johanna Brady) triumphantly walking up the stairs last season, she realized she could never picture another finale any other way. Darius will be backed into a corner and forced to pick Tiffany, leaving Chantal humiliated in a beautiful dress. Then, Yael will come and announce that Tiffany has been sleeping with the Executive Producer. Hello, ratings bonanza. Madison goes to call up Chantal’s dying grandmother.

 

Quinn tells Jay that he and Madison can split the bonus, but Jay is more concerned about how unfair all of this is to Darius.

 

Chet walks in on Tiffany changing into her underclothes for her wedding dress. He says he understands why Tiffany has to play the game—doing the talk show circuit and press until she can break off the engagement will earn her big bucks. Tiffany reveals that she’s going to marry Darius that night and Chet figures they can get an annulment. Tiffany says she’s going to marry Darius for real because she actually loves him. She tells Chet that although what they had was comforting, it was never serious and they have to end it.

 

Rachel tells Quinn that Yael is in and all she had to do was appeal to her narcissism. Quinn doesn’t understand what Coleman sees in her, but Rachel reminds her she’s just a younger, hotter, less damaged version of herself. Quinn calls him an idiot, but Rachel replies that she’s the real idiot—she blew it with Coleman just like her mom said she would and told him so many personal things about her past. Quinn reminds her that he hacked her phone and tried to put Quinn in jail. Plus, all of that stuff make Rachel exactly who she is and she is perfect.

 

Coleman visits Jeremy (Josh Kelly) at a bar. Jeremy is still salty Coleman got him fired, but Coleman says he was doing him a favor since “Everlasting” is hell and Rachel is the queen of it. Coleman says he has a plan to take “Everlasting” down and asks Jeremy if he wants to help.

 

Graham refreshes the audience on both Tiffany and Chantal’s stories. While watching the old footage, Madison tells Quinn that Chantal’s grandmother is on her way. She asks Quinn if she ever feels bad about what they do to the contestants and is met with a facial expression that shows no remorse.

 

Rachel goes to Darius’ room and apologizes for what she did, but Darius isn’t having it. He wishes he would’ve seen the crazy white girl do-gooder look in her eyes and run before he ever joined the show. He also wishes he could still play football and propose to a woman he actually loves. Rachel greets Romeo when he comes in, but Romeo refuses to ever speak to her again.

 

Jeremy and Coleman sneak into Yael’s room since the PA doesn’t know they were fired. Coleman admits they confiscated all his footage, but they’re going to use Jeremy to get their stories straight and go straight to CNN and blow up “Everlasting.” Yael gets the idea she can use her airtime on “Everlasting” instead of going to CNN. Coleman lets it slip that Rachel was in the mental hospital and fills Jeremy in on all the Rachel drama he missed.

 

Rachel goes to find Jay, who is smoking a cigarette. He’s over all of it, as he actually let himself believe they were doing something good this season. He’s upset that Darius is getting so screwed over and Rachel will go down in history books as a Caucasian savior. Rachel thinks there might actually be another way.

 

Madison leads Chantal’s grandmother onto set. Quinn makes fun of Chet’s relationship with Tiffany, but Chet turns the tables and says she must be a little jealous considering she’s producing Tiffany to win. Quinn informs him not everything is about him.

 

Jeremy sneaks away to find Rachel, warning her that Yael is about to go live and tell everyone how the producers killed Mary. She tells him to meet her in the camera truck in five minutes, figuring out a solution to stop Yael. Rachel calls Yael out for being a tabloid hack, calling security to usher her out. Yael is annoyed that Jeremy ratted her out, but still vows to tell the world everything they did.

 

Graham tells the audience that, per Darius’ request, they’ll be having a wedding instead of a proposal. This is huge news to Darius. Tiffany and Chantal both walk down the aisle and awkwardly meet at the altar. Quinn sees Yael being ushered into another room inside the mansion and is confused as to why she has been sidelined.

 

Rachel tells Coleman that she’s called up a magazine and they’re going to do an article about how Yael lied her way onto the show. Once they discredit her, nobody will believe a word she says. Coleman says he will come forward himself—he will admit he faked the documentary too because who better to expose someone for faking something than a person who knows exactly how it’s done? He tells her to enjoy her finale because it will be her last one; everyone who works on this show is going to jail.

 

Darius consults with Romeo, saying this show isn’t what he signed up for, but Romeo pushes him to make a choice quickly. Darius insists that he can’t commit unless he really means it.

 

Rachel calls Quinn out of the control room to tell her what Yael and Coleman plan on doing. Quinn doesn’t have time to deal and tells Rachel to be a dragon and handle it herself. Quinn tells Madison to get camera-ready, as she’ll be the one dropping the hammer on Tiffany.

 

Darius reveals that he cannot in good conscience marry either girl. Right when he does, however, Ruby (Denee Benton) shows up on set much to Quinn’s surprise. Darius says cutting Ruby was a huge mistake and proposes to her. Ruby says no, as they’ve only known each other for nine weeks, but wants to see if they can make it work beyond the show. She wants to see what they can have together for real because she really loves him.

 

Jay gets emotional and ushers everyone outside, leaving only Dr. Wagerstein (Amy Hill), Chet and Quinn in the control room. Quinn tears up and doesn’t understand how anyone finds true love. Chet comforts her as they watch Chantal and Tiffany complain together. Chet says no matter what, Quinn is his family and he loves her.

 

Coleman and Yael head out, planning to go to the press. Rachel tells Jeremy he should go, as she doesn’t know what they could say to discredit the two at this point. Rachel thinks she might actually be crazy and maybe even deserves to go to jail. Jeremy apologizes for trusting Rachel’s mom, as he didn’t know the full story about the horrible way she treated her. Jeremy says he loves Rachel and would do anything for her, but Rachel says that their relationship is over as well as their lives. They’re going to jail and she feels like it’s her fault.

 

Ruby and Darius drive off in a “Just Married” limo together, despite not getting married. Romeo mumbles that they’re going to be poor, but Jay replies that they’re going to be happy, which is better. Graham even compliments Rachel on a good season.

 

Yael and Coleman speed away in Coleman’s fancy car as well. Jeremy grabs Chet from the control room as Rachel goes in to talk to Quinn. Quinn tells Rachel that she really was the show runner after all and she nailed—it ended like a real fairytale. Rachel apologizes to Quinn, saying Yael and Coleman are going to the press because she couldn’t stop them. Quinn says it was only a matter of time, but is happy they at least went out with a bang.

 

Jeremy comes in and announces they won’t have to worry about Yael or Coleman again. He meant it when he said he would do anything for Rachel. A TV news station reports a car accident and shows footage of Coleman’s car smoking and badly crashed.

 

Rachel, Jeremy, Chet and Quinn all lounge on the white pool chairs on the “Everlasting” set.

 

 

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