Wynonna Earp – Gone as a Girl Can Get
By: Michelle Lopez
This week we open in on Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) and Nicole (Katherine Barrell) making their way toward the barn on the Earp Homestead amidst utter chaos. We’re talking Revenants in guard towers with machine guns, flaming tires rolling through the yard, and fifty plus Revenants trying to kill each other. After a few minutes and a whole lot of bullets, they manage to make it to the barn where they find Jeremy (Varun Saranga) wiring explosives. Everyone outside has ceased fighting and turned their efforts toward getting in the barn. With a small army banging on the door things look grim, but Waverly finds something that she claims will bring Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) back and KABOOM!!!
We catch up with Doc (Tim Rozon) exactly where we left last week, in the well screaming out for Wynonna. That is until he gets a call from Stevie (Reamonn Joshee). He’s freaking out about being in the well, but Stevie’s confused since Doc’s leaning on a ladder. He asks Doc if he found “it,” meaning his ring, but Doc assumes he means Peacemaker because the ring is the least of their worries. It turns out that without Wynonna, Doc turned into a warlord of sorts uniting Revenants and turning them into his minions.
Stevie chauffeurs Doc to the Holliday Haus formerly known as the Earp Homestead. Without Wynonna around he never stopped hating the Earps so turned their name into Purgatory’s “Voldemort.” Alternate reality Doc turned the Homestead into a militia compound. When he hears someone firing a gun like Yosemite Sam, one of his minions informs him that “she” is in the barn being stubborn. Doc assumes he’s found Wynonna, but it’s a very pissed off Rosita (Tamara Duarte) who’s been unloading rounds into Doc’s wanted poster. Relieved to have found one of his people, he tells her Wynonna and baby have vanished but Rosita’s never heard of Wynonna – leading him to realize that in this reality Wynonna never existed. Alternate reality Rosita would love to see Doc dead because six months prior he took her hostage and has been forcing her to cook drugs for his criminal enterprise. He frees her and asks about the rest of his crew, Waverly and Dolls (Shamier Anderson). The only Waverly she knows is Waverly Gibson, but she does know Dolls and he would love nothing more than to shoot Doc on sight. Doc finds some explosives in the barn so he armors up with vest of explosives and heads to BBD.
In this reality, BBD has Widow Mercedes (Dani Kind) locked up in a giant box smack dab in the middle of their office. She’s looking mighty haggard, but is absolutely delighted because the spell didn’t affect her and the one person who can stop Clootie from rising doesn’t exist anymore. Dolls tries to get information out of her, but Mercedes is more interested in sing-taunting them about their impending doom. Her heckling is disrupted when Doc shows up with his dynamite vest. Jeremy swoons until he remembers Doc’s supposed to be the enemy. Dolls isn’t surprised Doc brought dynamite since he’s used it plenty of times, including that one time he blew up Nedley’s house. Doc can’t believe that this is what they all end up as without Wynonna. At the mention of her, Dolls seems to have a flash of remembering but it passes and he starts threatening Doc to Mercedes’ delight. Then, Nicole sneaks up behind Doc and knocks him out.
In the bullpen, Sheriff Haught (RIP Nedley) is trying to get Officer Lonnie (Chris Casson) to correctly fill out some paperwork. She notices that it’s 11:59 am and quickly touches up her hair and throws on a little lipstick. The second noon hits, the light turns into a soft glow, the music picks up and Waverly slo-mo walks to Nicole’s desk with her daily lunch delivery. After some low-key flirting on Nicole’s part, Waverly remembers that she needs to fill out a change of name form. While Nicole helps with that, Waverly notices Nicole’s wedding ring and when she touches her hand Nicole has a moment of clarity that’s gone as soon as Waverly lets go.
In the glass cell, Doc calls out for help because he’s not a fan of tight quarters, especially when he’s sharing them with someone whose face is rotting and is preaching about the end of days. Mercedes tries to freeze breath Doc, but after last week’s venom extraction she’s fresh out. Doc hisses back at her and they both declare that they’ll be getting out there soon enough.
On main street, Waverly and her fiancé Perry (Patrick Kwok-Choon) take a leisurely stroll and discuss their pending nuptials. Perry wants Waverly to be sure she wants to marry him because this is their third time planning a wedding. Waverly claims she is but she obviously isn’t. Perry thinks it’s because she needs closure from her dad and Willa dying, so he hired a PI. In this reality, people hiding things from Waverly is still a trigger so she snaps at him, but apologizes quickly unsure of where the outburst came from. The PI found the guy who killed her family and he’s at St. Judes mental hospital.
Cut to St. Judes where Waverly is led into a padded room where Bobo (Michael Eklund) in chilling in a straightjacket. She introduces herself as Waverly Earp and Bobo jumps up because she’s his angel. She asks him about why he killed her family but Bobo remembers reality where Wynonna killed them. He slowly pieces together that there’s a spell on Purgatory that’s erased Wynonna. Waverly asks the one question she really cared about, why was she the only survivor? That’s an easy one: nobody hurts Bobo’s angel.
At the burnt down church, Widow Beth (Meghan Heffern) tries and fails to do a spell to break the third seal and free Clootie. She throws the ring in frustration, but chases after it because it is kind of important. Clootie decides to throw Beth a bone and let her know that she needs Mercedes’ help by creating two glowing spots around their ring tossing map.
Cut to BBD where Beth shoots some frost breath at the cell and shatters the glass. Doc springs into action, opens the gun safe and fires a few round into the Widows. Of course, the bullets do nothing and the Widows get away. Jeremy does his duty and pulls his gun on Doc who realizes he must show Jeremy this world is a lie. He shares a few details about Jeremy’s personal life that he has no business knowing in this reality. Jeremy realizes Doc didn’t have the dynamite wired to a detonator so it was completely harmless and with that he’s Team Doc. Before Doc rushes out to Shorty’s, Jeremy adorably asks him out for drinks.
In the basement of Shorty’s, Waverly’s looking through a box of old family belongings, including her mother’s wedding dress which she puts on along with a flower crown. She looks at a few pictures of her and Willa that have a big blank space where Wynonna would be and she forgives her mom for fleeing Purgatory because she understands the feeling. She’s pulled from her thoughts when she hears someone upstairs so she grabs her shotgun and investigates.
She finds Doc rooting around for the trophy. He tries to convince her that he’s not the bad guy anymore, but she doesn’t buy it and holds him at gun point until Dolls shows up. Jeremy cracked under Dolls scrutiny. Waverly hides behind the bar while Dolls attempts to arrest Doc who just wants somebody to remember reality. Doc doesn’t have time for a standoff so he fires a shot into Dolls’ shoulder thinking he’d be wearing his body armor. He rushes to Dolls side to check the wound and when he gets close Dolls shoots him. Waverly rushes to Doc’s side as he dies. He tells her to find the Iron Witch (Rachael Ancheril) and destroy the trophy to save them. Meanwhile, Dolls has dragged himself up and out of the bar only to die a few minutes later on the side of the road.
In Nicole’s patrol car, Waverly’s weeping over losing Doc for reasons she doesn’t understand. He was a bad guy but when he died her heart shouted at her about how important he was. Nicole can relate as she shoots hearteyes at Waverly who is wondering if Doc meant an actual witch. Nicole figures he did because Purgatory is well…Purgatory. She’s also heard of the Iron Witch and is fine blowing off work to take Waverly to her. Waverly’s touched Nicole would do that but Nicole would do anything to/for her.
Waverly and Nicole find the Iron Witch sulking at home because this spell backfired on her. Mattie still died and she somehow managed to lose an eye. Waverly and Nicole are having trouble believing her but during her explanation of how she cast the spell, Waverly knew the name of the trophy demon. The Iron Witch offers to use her limited power to lift the spell for a brief time to prove that she’s telling the truth. With the spell lifted, Waverly fondly remembers Wynonna and betraying her to save Nicole, the woman she loves. The Iron Witch reaches the limit of her power and they’re back in the alternate timeline, but know that they must destroy that trophy to get Wynonna back. The only problem is that it’s in the Holliday Haus barn. Waverly remembers her dad talking about it being impenetrable which it was until the day that her family was killed so it’s time for a trip to St. Judes.
In the padded cell, Waverly takes Bobo up on his offer of “whatever she wants” and asks about getting on the Homestead because it’s Revenant ground zero and she knows he did something to make the land safe for Revenants. He tells her that his talisman was never dug up and offers to take her to it if she busts him out. She does and Bobo makes a ridiculously dramatic exit after stealing some boots and a fur coat. Outside Nicole’s got the car running for a hasty escape.
Elsewhere, Jeremy meets up with BBD’s asset, Rosita, in Dolls stead. He’s convinced that BBD has gone rogue and is poisoning the town’s water to project a simulation on the residents. It’s bonkers and Rosita doesn’t buy it until Jeremy asks her a simple question that she can’t answer – what did she eat for breakfast. Jeremy’s deduced that they’re probably poisoning the water from Doc’s barn full of drugs so they head there to blow it up.
At the church, the Widows fail to break the seal and quickly realize it’s because Clootie’s body isn’t there anymore. They switch tactics and toss their rings asking for the location of someone who knows where Clootie is.
Bobo’s led Waverly and Nicole to the pet graveyard and instructed them to dig under Pikachu for the talisman. Unfortunately, the ground is frozen so it’s taking Waverly a bit too long for Bobo’s taste since the Widows rings sent them his way. Bobo takes off leaving Nicole to protect Waverly as she digs. Bobo flees into the Homestead and when the Revenants see him alive they break into Team Doc and Team Bobo kicking off a war.
When Nicole has to shoot a Revenant they know it’s time to go but Waverly won’t leave without that trophy so we end up in the episode’s opening scene. Waverly and Nicole fight their way through the Revenants and get to the barn where they find Jeremy and Rosita wiring it to blow. After a moment of awkward “what are you doing here?” they get to their tasks. While trophy hunting Waverly takes a call from Perry about cake frosting and decides to let him know she might be gay.
They continue to hunt, but Rosita thinks she’ll be more help in the fight. She tells Waverly to check behind the wheelbarrow before heading outside and instantly dying in a hail of gunfire. Waverly finds the trophy, but they’re trapped in the barn so she decides the only way for them to get out of this alive is to die. If they blow up the barn and trophy, the spell will break and leave them hopefully alive. Nicole’s instantly on board because she’s all in with Waverly. Jeremy’s not so sure, but when he hears the Revenants closing in he’s game to try. Waverly decides if this doesn’t work she doesn’t want to die not having kissed Nicole so she does. Then they blow themselves up which lifts the spell and leaves them standing in the barn covered in soot and rocking some crazy hair. Instantly, Nicole apologizes to Waverly again but gets shut up with a kiss. They run through all the things they have to worry about, but Waverly doesn’t have time for anything other than making sure Wynonna is back.
Outside of town the Widows have Bobo tied up and slowly remembering that while digging for Clootie’s sons he found and moved Clootie’s body. The Widows are prepared to torture the information out of him but it’s not necessary. Bobo’s not going back to hell and the only way to make that happen is to have Clootie lift the curse from him. The Widows promise to do their best to convince Clootie, so Bobo breaks the third seal and they head off his to find their demonic hubby.
A short distance away, Wynonna reappears continuing to talk about the plate like she was when she disappeared. She’s a bit confused about apparating, but it’s such a peaceful place she wishes she could stay. Then, duty calls as she spots Bobo and Widows. She goes to follow until she comes across the shattered third seal. As she inspects it, she has a contraction as baby Earp decides it wants to see what all the fuss is about, especially the loud demonic roaring that’s echoing across Purgatory.