Wynonna Earp – No Future in the Past
By: Michelle Lopez
We open on Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) recounting the story of that time Willa tossed her stuffed bunny out on a barely frozen lake, leading young Waverly to run out and fall through the ice. Waverly believes that Willa tried to kill her because she wasn’t an Earp. Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) doesn’t buy Waverly not being an Earp because she remembers her parents bringing her home from the hospital. Hell, she even named her. This does nothing to sway Waverly because she remembers her birthdays and achievements being ignored. Papa Earp wouldn’t even look her in the eyes. Yeah, Momma Earp called her “her angel,” but she left Waverly behind. Wynonna’s life has been a hot mess, but she’s beginning to realize that Waverly’s hasn’t been a cakewalk…yet she believes with her whole heart that Waverly is an Earp. Dolls (Shamier Anderson) drives up to take Wynonna to her doctor’s appointment, but Wynonna’s got one last question to ask before this Earp sister moment ends — who did pull Waverly out of the water? Waverly looks befuddled because she remembers Wynonna being the one who saved her.
Juan Carlo (Shaun Johnston), JC, comes across a broken-down car on this way into town. He offers assistance, but stops short when Widow Mercedes (Dani Kind) steps out. He’s horrified because he remembers locking the Widows in a crate. Well, they’ve escaped and are on the hunt for the final seal, which JC declares he will die before telling. So, Widow Beth (Meghan Heffern) pops up behind JC and chomps down on his shoulder like Wynonna with a donut.
At Shorty’s, Rosita (Tamara Duarte) finds Doc (Tim Rozon) preparing to head out for an appointment. She tries to get him to spend the day with her, but he’s got to go find a salty dehydrated witch. Since Doc’s blowing her off for some clandestine meeting, she announces that she’s got her own plans for the day because she’s a strong independent woman who isn’t going to sit around waiting for her guy. Doc wonders if her plans involve the Earp sisters because he thinks it’d be swell if she got along with his friends, especially since they can protect her from whatever she’s running from when Doc isn’t around.
At the doctor’s office, Wynonna’s still in denial about the fact that she’s growing a tiny human inside of her. She asks about DNA testing — not for the baby but for a friend who thinks they’re adopted. The doctor (Imali Perera) assumes this is Wynonna’s in to discussing adoption, which Wynonna denies even though the thought has crossed her mind. The doctor wants her to know she’s got options, but what Wynonna wants is to pretend she’s not pregnant. So, when she sees the ultrasound of her tiny human, she freaks the hell out and rushes out of the building before the doctor can tell her the sex of the baby. The doctor finds a very confused Dolls in the waiting room and hands him a folder with confidential information, which is definitely illegal. Dolls grabs it and runs after Wynonna, who’s in the back of a truck peeling out of the parking lot.
Dolls rushes into the police station, hollering and waking up Nedley (Greg Lawson) who was enjoying an afternoon siesta. Dolls has Nedley run the plates of the truck that grabbed Wynonna, but when nothing comes up, he has him describe the car. Nedley knows it instantly — it belongs to JC, the chief of the volunteer fire brigade, a/k/a “The Order.”
At Shorty’s, Nicole (Katherine Barrell) and Waverly are playing pool and discussing Waverly’s conundrum over her parentage. Nicole thinks she should trust her sister over Bobo (Michael Eklund), but Waverly doesn’t have to pick because she sent in her DNA to be tested. She didn’t want Wynonna to find the results so she’s having them sent to the station, which has Nicole acting cagey but Waverly’s too distracted to notice. Rosita wanders in and proposes they throw Wynonna a baby shower featuring mocktails and a piñata. They initially laugh off the idea, but Rosita throws in that Doc mentioned how much Wynonna’s been struggling. Rosita seems genuine in her desire to help so Nicole jumps on board, especially since she knows how difficult it is to get in good with the Earp sisters. Waverly agrees to the part, albeit a little hesitantly because of Rosita’s involvement.
Dolls enters the interrogation room to talk with Ewan (Brendan Fehr), who stopped by as a courtesy to Nedley. Ewan figures Wynonna’s with JC because of how “special” she is and scoffs at the idea of JC taking her against her will because: A) Wynonna can hold her own and B) JC is literally unable to force anyone to do anything. Ewan notices the lady in question calling Dolls. She’s calling to covertly give him her location, but JC is unimpressed with her clue-dropping skills and ends the call. Dolls pieces together that they’re at a church and asks Ewan for help, but “The Order” wants nothing to do with this seal nonsense. They are there to kill demons — no more, no less — but Dolls tells him that shit’s about to hit the fan so they need all hands on deck. Ewan tells him about an abandoned chapel near JC’s place.
Outside the chapel, JC lets Wynonna know that Waverly just texted her about having a nacho date at Shorty’s, a/k/a surprise baby shower. Wynonna’s game; however, first she’s got to deal with JC. She’s there for info on the Widows, but JC’s cursed with never being able to directly interfere. He can’t explicitly tell her anything, but he can give her all the tools necessary for her to complete a “ritual” that’ll get her the information. Before she agrees, she asks if she’ll be back in time for nacho night because there’s no good excuse for missing nacho night. JC tells her that “the Earp sisters will be reunited before sundown,” which she assumes means Waverly but he could very well mean Willa. Wynonna enters the church and completes the ritual. After nothing profound happens, she assumes she’s been had and heads back into town for some nachos.
Wynonna wanders into Shorty’s and gives Doc an update on her day, but he ignores her. She follows him, notices that everyone’s wearing old-timey getups and realizes that she’s not in 2017 anymore. She runs around the bar panicking because she doesn’t know what’s going on and being invisible is more than a little creepy. Suddenly everyone freezes except for two men, Doc and Robert Svane, also known as Bobo. Robert’s there to deliver a message from Wyatt. This isn’t the Doc we know — this is a man dying of tuberculosis and hating life so he rips into Robert. Wyatt wants Doc to ride with him to Purgatory to deal with their insane sheriff and Doc tells Robert to go to Hell. Robert says he’d willingly do that for Wyatt, just like Doc would have a short while ago. After Robert leaves, gunfire erupts outside and Wynonna panics because her instincts tell her to run toward the danger. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have Peacemaker and isn’t sure if getting killed in a vision quest means you die in real life. Wynonna does the Wynonna thing and runs outside and chants “tacos are tasty,” as if it’s a magic word that’ll send her back to reality. She listens in on a couple walking down the street providing a ton of exposition. Wyatt shot Sheriff Clootie and got cursed before rushing off to see Doc on his deathbed. Sheriff Clootie’s three wives, Constance (Jessica Siros) and the Widows, are flipping out over a demon’s body and are a problem for the padre, JC, to deal with. Wynonna follows a trail of blood to the chapel because she’s on the hunt for some damn answers. Inside she finds Constance magically paralyzing the Widows and an injured Robert. The Widows are there for their husband, who’s been dispatched thanks to Wyatt, Robert, Clootie and JC.
Back in the present, Waverly and Nicole are putting the finishing touches on the baby-shower decorations when Rosita carries in a giant baby piñata filled with donuts. It seems a smidge inappropriate, but this is Wynonna’s baby shower so it makes perfect sense. Waverly’s surprised by Rosita’s sudden desire for more screen time, but Nicole gets it — she’s trying to move past the awkward “you might be carrying my boyfriend’s child” thing and make nice with the Earps who are not an easy duo to crack. Waverly agrees to try and kicks it off by turning the mocktails into the world’s strongest cocktails with Rosita because nothing brings people together like booze.
Dolls arrives at the church and threatens JC, who promises that Wynonna’s a willing participant and completely safe as long as she isn’t pulled out of her vision quest. Dolls rushes inside and finds her passed out but alive.
In the past, the Widows have been locked away in the crate and Clootie’s handing out ingredients and instructions for Robert and JC to create their very own seals that’ll keep Sheriff Clootie locked away. They agree to keep the location of their seals secret from each other as security.
Outside the chapel, JC explains his immortality situation and how he can’t interfere to Dolls, who points out that his actions today count as interfering. JC’s dying though so he doesn’t care about the consequences. The Widow’s bite gave him a supernatural case of gangrene, which is going to kill him, so he’s decided to go out fighting the good fight he started back when he was mortal. JC points out one of the Widows approaching and sends Dolls out to fight her off. Dolls is confronted by both Widows in the woods and when he refuses to let them kill Wynonna, they attack.
In the past, Wynonna’s back to the chapel at a different point in time and finds Robert dying from a gunshot wound he acquired during Wyatt’s fight with Clootie, who had used Robert as a human shield. Robert insisted Wyatt shoot through him to kill Clootie and that wound is the reason he’s there. Constance shows up to let Robert know that anyone killed by Peacemaker is doomed to the life of a Revenant. He begs Constance for help, which she offers if she brings him the bones of her demon sons. Robert refuses to help her at first, but the idea of an eternity in Hell has him reconsidering.
In the woods, Dolls gets bested and paralyzed by the Widows. Instead of snacking on him, they decide to go for the meal they’ve already tenderized.
At Shorty’s, Waverly and Rosita have become drunk besties who want to play games. Rosita runs off to grab supplies for a round of pregnancy-themed Pictionary and Waverly goes to grab a pen from her purse. In her drunken state, she grabs Nicole’s purse and finds her DNA results inside. Nicole opened the results and decided to keep them from Waverly, which goes over as well you’d think. Waverly’s hurt and when Nicole tries to justify as trying to protect the woman she loves, Waverly gets pissed. She doesn’t need someone to make decisions for her — she needs a partner.
In the past, Constance has brought Robert to the well where she trapped Doc. Giving Wyatt’s best friend eternal life and then trapping him underground is the best form of vengeance she could think up. The ring she gave Doc which grants him eternal life is also her seal. If Robert wants to avoid eternal damnation, he needs to take the ring from Doc. Robert drops down a string for Doc to tie the ring to, but Doc isn’t going to give up immortality, even if it means being trapped in a well. He tells Robert to go to Hell and that’s exactly what he’s going to do.
The Widows are feasting on JC when Dolls breaks free from the Widows’ ice breathe with his dragon powers. He sneaks up on the Widows and scares them off before mercy-killing JC. He heads into the chapel and bars the door before the Widows’ ice breathe kicks in for round two. The Widows try to break into the chapel, but Dolls claimed sanctuary and they can’t get in, so they light it on fire.
In the past, Robert has returned to the chapel to die, but this time he can see Wynonna, who’s developed a cough because her body’s in a burning building. Robert calls Wynonna his guardian angel and begs Wynonna to save his soul because he’s a good man, but Wynonna saw him leave Doc in that well out of jealousy. She tells him of his future as a demon resurrected from Hell named Bobo. The smoke from the church is killing Wynonna and Robert drags her into his lap, promising to never harm her no matter what sides they end up on (good/evil). He asks for her name and before passing out, Wynonna utters “Waverly” and asks Robert to wake her up. He can’t wake her, so he rings the church bell for help.
Cut to outside of the burning church — the volunteer fire brigade’s showed up and dragged Dolls and Wynonna out. Dolls is panicking because Wynonna isn’t breathing, but after a minute she coughs and wakes up. One of the fire fighters applauds Dolls for ringing the church bell, but he didn’t do it — Robert did.
Out on the frozen lake, Waverly looks over her DNA results and flashes back to the day she fell through the ice. It wasn’t Wynonna that pulled her out; it was Bobo keeping the promise he made lifetimes ago. He calls her his angel and she calls him “Papa.”
In the homestead, Wynonna and Dolls are cuddling in bed after their stressful night. Wynonna fills him in on Doc’s ring being the third seal and what happens if the Widows break it. Dolls fills Wynonna in on how she was technically dead for 77 seconds. Wynonna jumps up because if the Earp heir technically died, that could cause some problems, but they figure since it wasn’t for a long time it’s fine. Cut to Bobo waking up, covered in snow.