A Real Pain

By: Kelly Kearney

Blending sentimentality, history and personal reflection, the film A Real Pain follows two estranged cousins who reunite after the death of their Polish grandmother—a Holocaust survivor—by embarking on a guided trip to Poland to retrace her past. Directed by Jesse Eisenberg and starring alongside Academy Award nominee Kieran Culkin, this indie drama offers a deeply human exploration of family bonds, grief and the complex dynamics that shape relationships.

Broken Hearts and Headaches

From the moment David Kaplan (Eisenberg) meets his cousin Benji (Culkin) at the airport en route to their Polish family pilgrimage, it’s clear their similarities end at the strands of their shared DNA. David—the uptight, anxious husband and father—lives and works in New York City, too preoccupied to check in with Benji, his spontaneous, joke-cracking, pot-smoking cousin from Binghamton. As children, their yin-and-yang dynamic complemented each other, but over the years their diverging paths have created a friction that threatens to overshadow their memorial trip and disrupt the focus of everyone else on the tour.

Though outwardly detached from the emotional weight of their grandmother’s passing, David serves as a steadying force for Benji, who struggles with direction in life. David suppresses his feelings, while Benji wears his on his sleeve, expressing himself loudly and unapologetically, never fearing judgement or derision. In a pivotal moment in the film, the tour visits a concentration camp and Eisenberg’s direction embraces quiet reflection, allowing the weight of history to settle. As the group moves on, Benji finds himself unable to do the same. Overcome with guilt and grief, he lashes out at those around him, unable to comprehend how life can continue after witnessing such devastation. He was his grandmother’s favorite—the grandson who measured her love by how quick she was to punish him, and the one who, unlike David, cherished their weekly phone calls. Now he has tapped into the horrors of a world that tried to destroy his family and since he feels things so deeply, he wonders why he didn’t inherit the woman’s strength to survive. He is stuck at a crossroads in life, resisting the inevitable change he fears will push him forward. Meanwhile, David, unable to force his cousin onto the right path, can do little but stand on the sidelines, hoping he eventually chooses it for himself

Trusting an Actor’s Process

What Eisenberg does best is craft a story that balances humor with heartache, but it’s Kieran Culkin who truly shines as Benji—a man who masks his loneliness with wit, charm and an ever-present joint. Culkin’s ability to straddle the line between absurdity and tragedy is a testament to both his impeccable comedic timing and his emotional depth. His physicality as Benji—a whirlwind of chaotic energy—is perfectly juxtaposed against Eisenberg’s restrained, buttoned-up David. Their contrasting approaches to life play out in every interaction, their push-and-pull dynamic evoking both laughter and heartbreak.

For all of David’s attempts to rein Benji in, the rest of the tour group becomes both his audience and his support system. In what feels like a playful nod to Culkin’s days on the hit series “Succession,” Benji gravitates toward an older woman, Marcia (Jennifer Grey), who immediately recognizes the lost boy behind his carefree façade. As others in the group follow suit, it becomes nearly impossible not to be affected by Benji’s infectious energy—his exuberance drawing people in, even as his inner turmoil pushes them away. In one scene we see this perfectly play out when Benji lightens everyone’s dark moods with a series of group selfies that become more hysterical after the last. Eisenberg delivers an equally compelling performance as David, but Culkin embodies the film’s central struggle: the difficulty of moving forward when the future feels uncertain.

The Camera Speaks Louder Than Words

A Real Pain leans into that Eisenberg formula of snappy, dialogue-driven storytelling, where conversations overlap until the meaningful moments fall out of overworked mouths. But what truly elevates the film is his trust in Culkin’s instincts, allowing him to take scenes on an emotional rollercoaster before landing in the stillness of a close-up—where the real story unfolds in his expressions. Eisenberg’s camera acts as a truth-teller, capturing the unspoken emotions in glances and pauses louder than any dialogue ever could. There’s a war raging behind Benji’s eyes and in one particularly poignant scene (where the cousins get high on a rooftop overlooking a city that once imprisoned their grandmother) it’s the silence and the close-up shots of Benji between the jokes and smoke clouds that carries the most weight.

Along with the rest of the cast, who if there’s one complaint deserved more screen time and playful banter with the cousins, Eisenberg skillfully balances sorrow and levity, ensuring the film never lingers too long in either extreme. For every emotional gut punch, there’s a moment of warmth, humor or connection that eases the sting.

At its core, A Real Pain is a study of how people confront—or avoid—grief. Eisenberg crafts a poignant, deeply engaging experience that lingers long after the credits roll. To explore the horrors of the Kaplan family’s past, he grounds the film in authenticity, taking the story to Poland—a country that both suffered and inflicted immense pain on millions of Jews, including those like the Kaplans’ ancestors. The location serves as a powerful visual backdrop, heightening the emotional journey of both men. What begins as a simple farewell to the matriarch of their family becomes something much more profound, as language barriers and cultural differences reveal deeper truths about their grandmother and the legacy she left behind. It’s a reminder that grief is not just personal but historical—woven into the very fabric of who they are.

Eisenberg delivers a deeply felt exploration of human connection—how we navigate our past, embrace our heritage, and, most importantly, find meaning in each other. Despite its weighty themes, it never loses its humor or humanity, making for an unforgettable and deeply resonant experience. Thoughtful, moving and beautifully performed, the film A Real Pain is a must-see—one that had me reaching for the tissue box more than once.