Abbott Elementary – Audit

By: Atiya Irvin-Mitchell

Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) compliments Ava’s (Janelle James) new dress and quickly regrets it when Ava says the dress is too exclusive for the likes of her. Then, as she continues to brag about how no one could ever steal her swag, Janine (Quinta Brunson) walks into the teacher’s lounge wearing the same dress, much to Melissa’s amusement, Gregory’s (Tyler James Williams) shock, and Ava’s horror. But, Janine thinks it’s great to the extent of wanting Gregory to take a “Who Wore it Better” style picture. Even so, before any photos can be snapped, Ava changes outfits at superhuman speed. 

Later on, Janine goes to check in with Ava about the spellers, meaning games that allow students to practice their spelling, and she asked the golf course for. Janine tells the cameras that she’s avoided asking for anything all year, but the spellers her class currently has are ancient, so she took the plunge. But she still feels guilty and nervous about the whole thing. 

Some time later the school gets a visit from Crystal (Tatyanna Ali), Ava’s sorority sister and rival, she tells Dia (Pam Trotter) that she’s here to see Ava. When Ava comes to meet her, Crystal says at the district meeting, she found it interesting that the district meeting Abbott didn’t need any essentials because Abbott Elementary is usually so needy. Crystal says she knows Ava is running some kind of scam, and she wants in and Ava assumes she knows about the golf course. Unfortunately, though, Crystal didn’t have the specifics. At any rate, she wants in on the golf course scam, but Ava tells her no because she has already helped her get stuff from the district. But Crystal says she doesn’t want her scraps, but Ava says she didn’t mind in college. This makes Crystal angry, and she says fine and storms off. 

In the Cafeteria, Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) is thanking Jacob (Chris Perfetti) for watching her class. She is having a rough morning due to a sore wrist, her alarm not going off, and then a student needs her. After that, Ava has a request for Barbara: take over for the recently retired music teacher. Barbara loves music, but she already has a job that keeps her very busy. Still, Ava explains she worked her magic and made music an after-school program. Ava adds she knows Barbara has been busy, but if she says no, the music program will go away entirely. At that, Ava says she’ll consider it, but she tells the cameras that she can’t because she’s bogged down as it is. 

In the teacher’s lounge, Barbara inquires about why Gregory and Janine are huddled around Jacob looking serious. Melissa explains that Jacob went out with Elijah (Jaboukie Young-White) from karaoke night and they’re helping Jacob text him. After convincing Jacob that sending Elijah a poem is too much after a first date, he sends that text with Gregory and Janine’s approval. 

O’Shon (Matthew Law) has arrived and comes into the teacher’s lounge bearing bad news. The district has been tipped off that something shady is going on at Abbott Elementary and asked him if he knows anything about it. They’re coming tomorrow to investigate and he and Ava think Crystal told on them. At first the teachers seem a bit resigned, but Janine says her kids are excited about the spellers the golf course is getting her. Plus, they don’t have proof, so she suggests that they just hide all the bribes they’ve been getting before tomorrow. 

In the hallway, Gregory and Janine talk about the plan to hide the contraband from the district. Melissa acquired a Teamster truck to haul away all the bribes after school, so that they can look like the broke school they are in their hearts. Gregory is worried about how long it’ll take to stash everything, but Janine insists that if everyone pitches in it shouldn’t take more than four hours. Gregory is doubtful about how helpful Barbara and Mr. Johnson (William Stanford Davis) will be loading dozens of computers into a truck, which offends Mr. Johnson, who overhears to the point of threatening to beat up Gregory.  

Unfortunately, Manny (Josh Segarra)  arrives with fellow district officials Thomas (Jim Rash) and Rick (Wayne Wilderson) early, much to Ava’s horror. When they go to talk to Ava, Manny tells her that they got a tip that Abbott Elementary has been receiving a copious amount of unsanctioned donations. Ava pretends to be shocked and says that such a thing would be against district policy. Manny agrees and says that’s why they have to investigate the claims he hopes aren’t true. With that being said, Ava alerts the other teachers that the district is there. 

The district admin meets the rest of the staff, and Manny reminds them that Janine worked for the district, so she’d definitely know better than to accept bribes. Janine agrees and stresses that they barely have pens and pencils. Then she suggests that, since they’ll be checking all the rooms they start with Mr. Morton’s room on the top floor. Jacob chimes in that Morton’s room is emotionally, spiritually, and financially bereft. Also, we find out that Morton knows nothing and took nothing from the golf course, so it’s a safe bet to send them there while they stash everything. 

While Ava takes the group upstairs, Janine and the teachers talk strategy and agree that they’ll go to the different rooms and stash the contraband in Mr. Johnson’s closet or Melissa’s safe. Janine will take the library, Jacob has the gym covered, and Gregory will watch Janine’s kids. Jacob takes the sports equipment from the kids, and Janine hides the beanbag chairs in the library with Rosalyn’s help.  

Melissa and Mr. Johnson go to the cafeteria to warn Wendall (George Sharperson), but he’s already cooking on the state-of-the-art stove the golf course bought. He and Melissa briefly talk about the right way to make pasta until the district officials arrive. Because the food smells so good, the district officials are already suspicious but Wendall buys some extra time by reminding them they can’t come in with their shoes on due to the health code. 

Barbara is in her classroom using her hand massager, and Jacob comes in and says she has to hide it. Barbara says it belongs to her, but Jacob says the district will think anything nice came from the golf course, no matter what the truth is. He apologizes to Barbara and then takes the massager away. 

Ava tells the other teachers that the district decided they didn’t need a guided tour and are just gonna look around. Mr. Johnson distracts the district employees while Janine grabs the last of the computers, and now they just need somewhere to stash them. Ava volunteers the basement, but they still have to get them downstairs undetected. They successfully manage it, but then Jacob remembers the scoreboard courtesy of the golf course. 

Gregory asks the obvious question: How do they get rid of a scoreboard? In this case, by covering it up with a Christmas banner from 2009. When the district officials come in they think nothing looks out of place in the gym, but have questions about why there’s such an old banner hanging up. Mr. Johnson swoops in and tells them the explanation can be traced back to the housing crisis of 2009, which none of the officials want to hear about. So they excuse themselves from the gym.

In the hallway, the district officials apologize to the teachers for the inconvenience. Manny reiterates that he told them that the Abbott teachers are always on the up-and-up. The district employees say their goodbyes and are headed out when Miles Nathanial (Matt Oberg) arrives and announces himself as the Abbott Elementary Supply Fairy. It doesn’t help that he has a box full of supplies that he calls bribes. Of course, the district official hears this, and Miles blows the whistle on the blackmailing scheme. The officials say that any teacher who took a bribe will be suspended and demand to know who is responsible for this. None of the teachers are talking, so Ava steps forward and says it was all her. She assumes she’s just going to get suspended, but Manny tells her he regrets to inform her she’s being relieved of her duties permanently. This confuses Ava, but the officials explain that teachers are hard to fire thanks to their union, but principals can be dismissed pretty easily. 

The teachers try to defend Ava, but Manny says the district has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to administrators taking bribes. And they’re going to be confiscating all the bribes along with the money the district gave them during the budget meeting. Ava cleans out her office and Janine promises to find a way out of this, despite Ava saying it’s over. She turns in her badge, and before she leaves the school, Barbara tracks her down. Barbara tells her that before, she would’ve agreed that Abbott would be better off without Ava and that she was too selfish to do right by the kids, but that hasn’t been true for a long time. Ava responds by telling Barbara that she didn’t offer her the music program to make her job harder, she did it because she knows that Barbara has been tired, and sometimes doing something you love is reinvigorating for educators. 

Later, Barbara explains that there are no guarantees in the teaching profession, only challenges. But the trick is to find a way to deal with the challenges, she says she’s watched Ava step out of her comfort zone into true leadership. Now, Barbara says, she needs to follow Ava’s lead and step out of her own comfort zone. With that said, Barbara decides she’s going to take over the music program permanently. This makes the kids happy because many of them never thought they’d have her as a teacher again.