Abbott Elementary – Please Touch Museum

By: Atiya Irvin-Mitchell

Ava (Janelle James) is back and makes an unconventional series of morning announcements that the teachers aren’t thrilled about. She says she’s pardoning herself for taking bribes and Jacob (Chris Perfetti) points out that is an abuse of power. Plus, she changed the passcode on the basement bathroom, which makes Mr. Johnson (William Stanford Davis) ask how you impeach a principal. Gregory (Tyler James Williams); however, suggests that they hear Ava out until she says that all the previous administrations’ policies (aka his) have been rescinded. She finishes off her decrees by saying any snide comments directed at her will be subject to disciplinary action. Janine (Quinta Brunson) brushes her off and says the teachers rule, only to turn around and find Ava standing right there. She doesn’t understand how the announcements can still be going if Ava is in the teacher’s lounge, but then the announcements say not to ask questions you can’t handle the answer to. 

On an unrelated note, it’s field trip day and the students are headed to the Please Touch Museum. Additionally, Gregory mentions that his father is coming into town to officially meet Janine. She’s excited and learned military time in preparation, but Gregory warns her that he won’t be impressed. It’s not that she’s unimpressive; it’s just that he’s never really impressed with much of anything. Gregory tells the cameras that he’s surprised his father agreed to be an extra chaperone for the trip because he’s never been a touch guy, or a hug guy, or an, “I’m proud of you son,” guy. 

In the gym Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) is preparing her kindergarteners for the museum by asking them what they’re excited about. The little kids are really excited, but Brandon (Dax Rey) and the other older kids quickly tell Jacob that they were more excited for the aquarium because the Please Touch Museum is for babies. Jacob tries to explain that that’s not true, unfortunately, even Mr. Johnson agrees that it’s for babies. 

Elsewhere, O’Shon (Matthew Law) swings by to visit Ava and congratulate her on being reinstated. We also learn that O’Shon has volunteered to chaperone for the field trip as well. He also comes with a welcome back gift in the form of earrings that he is very excited about, but Ava doesn’t like. But she can tell how happy he is to give them to her, so she puts the earrings on anyway. 

Jacob, Barbara and Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) keep trying to sell the eighth graders on the Please Touch Museum. It doesn’t help when Anthony (Heath Khan), their tour guide, comes and addresses the older kids the same way he does the younger kids. Gregory meets up with his father, Martin (Orlando Jones), and apologizes for being late. When he meets Janine, Gregory is confused by the stiff, formal version of herself she presents to the older Mr. Eddie. But Martin seems to be impressed by her firm handshake and decision to call him Lt. Colonel Eddie. 

When Gregory asks Janine what gives, she defends herself by pointing out that Martin loves her. Gregory asks at what cost, but we find out when Lila (Zinnia Nzolameso)  trips and hurts her knee. Janine’s impulse is to comfort the little girl, but Martin’s approach is to lecture her about running and protocol. He adds that pain is just weakness leaving the body, which is what he told Gregory growing up. At first Janine goes with Martin’s approach, but then she pretends her pencil is magic and can erase the pain and plays with Lila.  

Meanwhile, Ava is observing O’Shon play with the kids, but hiding her hideous earrings. Barbara notices her hiding them behind her hair and asks if she has a nervous tic now. When she explains that O’Shon bought her a pair of earrings so ugly that even Janine would return them, Barbara doesn’t think they could be that bad. But her opinion changes when she shows her the earrings in question. At the same time, Jacob and Melissa are still trying to get the older kids to have fun at the museum, but they don’t want to pretend to grocery shop or pretend to drive. 

Back to the earrings, Barbara encourages Ava to be honest with O’Shon. When Ava scoffs, Barbara explains that honest, difficult conversations can help build stronger relationships. Still Ava doesn’t know how to tell O’Shon that he financially ruined himself for earrings she doesn’t like. 

Janine and Gregory take the kids to see the trees and the kids decide to pretend that the trees are haunted and Janine plays along. At first Martin doesn’t approve of telling the kids that trees could have ghosts because that could suggest that trees have souls. Janine agrees, but then upon seeing the kids’ sad faces she admits she thinks trees have souls – so much so that there is a tree she passes on her way to work that she named Steven. She tells Martin that she is a second-grade teacher, so by trade she’s silly. Then, she asks her students to think about what else might live in the trees, and Martin surprises her and Gregory by pretending to be a talking squirrel that lives in the trees. 

In the maze Barbara and Melissa try again to help the middle schoolers find something enjoyable about the museum. But they’re still pretty unimpressed, and RJ (Logan Carter) asks for their phones back. Jacob apologizes and finally admits that maybe they have outgrown this place until Anthony comes over with a suggestion, but it’s only for the extremely creative. Anthony tells them they could write and produce a play that can be performed in the theatre. They’re not totally sold at the beginning, but then Anthony suggests that the play be about their teachers and he has their attention. With that, he takes them over to the theatre to get started. 

Janine and Martin are playing astronauts with the kids, but Gregory opts not to join. Ava is walking around with the kids, and Anthony asks to take a picture for the website and agrees, but takes out her earrings after Anthony assumes the kids made them for her. O’Shon sees her remove the earrings and realizes she doesn’t like them. 

Janine and Gregory talk while Martin plays with the kids, and Janine is happy to report that she thinks Martin likes her. The real her, Janine points out, and not the military version of herself she was pretending to be at first. Janine notices that Gregory doesn’t appear to be happy about this at first, but he explains he’s glad Martin approves, but he’s confused about his father’s behavior. When Gregory was growing up, Martin didn’t play, pretend, or otherwise. Janine acknowledges that, seeing this side of his father could be jarring, so she encourages him to talk to Martin. Gregory says that his father doesn’t really do feelings, and Janine wonders why all men can’t be more like Jacob. She adds that maybe Martin is capable of more than Gregory previously thought. 

The little kids are playing, the older kids are preparing for their directorial debut, and the teachers wonder aloud when the eighth graders stopped being kids. Having had a lot of them as kindergarteners, Barbara can remember most of them when they were five. Jacob is getting emotional thinking about saying goodbye to them, also he worries about having done enough to prepare them for high school. As it turns out, though, the kids do need them when RJ comes over and tells them they’re playing each other in their play. Mr. Johnson is playing himself, Jacob is Barbara, Melissa is Jacob and Barbara is Melissa. 

In “The Final Bell: An Abbott Elementary” play, there’s as much teasing as you’d expect from a group of 13 and 14-year-olds. Melissa is portrayed as being extremely Italian, Barbara is old, and Jacob brings up news that no one wants to hear about. Elsewhere, Gregory and Martin have a heart-to-heart about Gregory’s childhood. Gregory thanks Martin for chaperoning, and Martin says he really likes Janine. Gregory is glad, but admits he’s shocked because Janine is the antithesis of how Martin raised him.  Martin objects to the idea that Gregory wasn’t allowed to have fun, but Gregory reminds him that he thought Madlibs promoted insubordination. His memories don’t mesh with him pretending to be a squirrel to make a group of first and second-graders happy. Gregory says he likes seeing him joke around. Martin tells him that his mother used to tell him, “relax, Eddie,” and explains that Janine reminds him of her. He points out that Eddie men tend to do well with partners like Janine. 

Janine calls Gregory into the scene in the play. While they’re getting into costume, Ava and O’Shon talk about the earrings. She pretends to have misplaced them, but he saw her take them off. She apologizes and admits she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She doesn’t want him to think he shouldn’t buy her things, but the earrings aren’t her style. O’Shon admits the earrings weren’t his first choice; another pair was, but it was less expensive. Ironically, though, the less expensive pair is Ava’s style. They jokingly agree to keep each other long-term and share their first kiss.

 Janine plays Gregory as a robot, and he plays Janine as short and caring, a lot about kindness. The teachers’ alter egos in the play are trying to save the school from the district. And even though the kids make fun of them a lot, they admit via the cue cards that the teachers care about them, and the feeling is mutual. In the play, the power of love defeats the district, and the teachers are touched that the kids managed to be sweet while sort of bullying them. 

Barbara explains that when the kindergarteners arrive, they like to imagine their futures. On the other side of nine years, Melissa says, they’re little citizens. The little citizens in question are enjoying the Merry-Go-Round with their teachers. Even Ava weighs in a says through the years it’s their job to rebound from adversity and keep growing. Gregory is has a nice moment on the Merry-Go-Round with his father and says they get to be there for the kids for the serious moments and the fun moments. Janine finishes them off and says that no matter how much the little ones change over the years, they’ll always be a part of the Abbott family.