Abbott Elementary – Read-a-Thon

By starrymag | January 10, 2023

By: Atiya Irvin-Mitchell

 

 

At Abbott Elementary a new year means some awkwardness. It is the first day back from break and Janine (Quinta Brunson) and Gregory (Tyler James Williams) are feeling awkward. Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) is observing them interact in the teacher’s lounge and comments on their mutual lack of social skills. But Ava (Janelle James) says they’re just being weird because they danced at a club together during a break. In case you’re curious, the only club Barbara goes to is Bible club.

 

Ava walks over and says they should get over themselves because it was just “a Disney Channel grind at best.” Then she reminds them that the new year also means it’s time for the Read-A-Thon. It is pretty self-explanatory, all the classes compete to see who can read the most. All the kids get a pizza party, but teachers like Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) and Janine really want the high of being able to say they won. Melissa and her second graders have won two years in a row. She brought the prize pizza belt in and everything. She and Janine do some smack talking about which of their classes will be taking home the gold this year.

 

Elsewhere Jacob (Chris Perfetti) is excited because he got funding to do a student-run podcast. It’s going to be called “This Abbott Life.” Jacob is a very big NPR fan and he wants “This Abbott Life” to be a sixth grade version of the shows you’ll find there. He only has two sign ups, but he’s feeling optimistic. Gregory is going to co-supervise the club because teachers who sponsor clubs get paid more and he could use the money. He says his financial situation continues to cause problems in his love life.

 

In the hallway Janine and Melissa bump into each other and Janine gloats that this is the third cart of books from the library that she has checked out this morning. Plus, she found a way to fit two weeks of math classes into next week so now her kids have additional time for reading. Melissa is impressed and you can see her realize that holding onto the Read-A-Thon belt could be a challenge this year. She goes to her class and tells the kids that to win they need to spend every spare moment they have reading everywhere they go. A little girl named Mya (Blaiz Bahsi Baker) says she will read more books than anybody, but some of the other kids are doubtful. Melissa says that Mya will do her best as everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

 

Podcast time. Jacob and Gregory are calling themselves the co-producers of “This Abbott Life” and Jacob is approaching the situation like there’s a Pulitzer on the line. The podcast hosts are Clarence (Zakai Biagas-Bey) and Raheem (Kingston Covington) who have a very different vision for the podcast than Jacob and (spoiler alert) it doesn’t include Ira Glass as a guide. Jacob typed up a very large script and told the boys to make it their own.

 

Barbara and Melissa talk after school and Melissa is proud that her class is making so much progress. She makes a Magic School Bus reference, and we learn that apparently Barbara isn’t a fan of Miss Frizzle. But why? Barbara takes issue with the “kooky outfits” and her “overzealous can-do attitude.” Right on cue Janine appears in a kooky outfit with her can-do attitude. She knows that her class is a few pages behind but says they’re in it to win. Melissa says they’ll never be able to do it. Then the school nurse informs her of a snag on her road for victory: three of her best readers have pink eye, so they’ll be out for the rest of the week. Janine wishes the small humans a speedy recovery, but then gloats before running off.

 

A little later in the day Melissa and Janine run into each other in the library. Yeah, her three best readers being sick is not ideal, but she says every person who has ever counted her out is probably dead. Not that she has any way to confirm that… Still, Janine thinks it’ll be fun to have a wager. The loser of the Read-A-Thon has to go on the “This Abbott Life” podcast. Janine felt it’d be less terrifying than Melissa’s original suggestion that the loser streak at a basketball game. The podcast also won’t risk a public indecency charge which could be very bad for someone who works with kids. At any rate the bet is made.

 

Melissa gives a pep talk and Mya jumps up and promises to read the class to eternal glory. She tells the kids she doesn’t care how or where they do it, just get those books read. Elsewhere the podcast has its very first episode. Ava shows up to mock all parties involved. The larger issue is that there is a disconnect between the producers and the hosts. Raheem and Clarence want to talk about gossip in the lunchroom, but Jacob wants to do a deep dive on social hierarchies in the cafeteria. He cuts them off before Raheem can tell a story of how he tried to ask out someone named Emily.

 

In the hallway the Read-A-Thon competition continues. Melissa, Barbara and Janine check the progress chart and Melissa is in the lead. Janine finds this hard to believe with three of Melissa’s best readers home sick. She accuses her of cheating, not just because she’s afraid to lose, as she points out that Melissa brags about cheating a lot. Melissa says she’s cheated on guys and on diets, but she wins the Read-A-Thon every year fair and square. Barbara swears Melissa can inspire any kid to read so she wouldn’t try to cheat her way to victory.

 

Remember Mya? The little girl who really wanted to help Melissa’s class win. She says she finished Rip Van Winkle but she can barely sound out the title. Plus, her Read-A-Thon form says she read twenty-five books the night prior, which is a lot of books for anyone let alone a second grader. Melissa looks more than a little concerned.

 

The first podcast is over, and Clarence and Raheem aren’t happy. They tell Jacob he took over their show and censored them. Jacob isn’t happy with being called a censor and is even less happy when the boys say they’re quitting. Gregory is mostly just bummed out that this means he won’t be getting paid extra.

 

It is the end of the and Melissa calls a meeting with Mya’s mother (Kuoth Wiel) and father (Stephen Agyei). She tells them she’s worried because Mya is excelling at Math and Science, but she is struggling with reading. Her parents don’t want to believe it though. They seem to care about her education a lot, but they get very defensive at the idea that there is something “wrong” with Mya. Melissa stresses that Mya is a great kid, but no second grader could read twenty-five books in one night. She tells them she thinks they should consider having her tested so that she doesn’t fall behind, but they refuse.

 

The next day Melissa has to tell her kids that Janine’s class won, but they all still did an amazing job. And they still get pizza! Yay! Mya raises her hand and asks if she can be done with reading now that the Read-A-Thon is over. Melissa invites her to go out into the hallway. Melissa wants Mya to be honest with her about if she’s having trouble reading. She admits she does and Melissa tells her it can be hard for her too. Melissa shows her some tricks she picked up over the years which include highlighting passages. She gives Mya a book about a girl who has to read things multiple times before getting it. Her own teacher gave it to her when she was Mya’s age and now she is passing it onto Mya.

 

Ava and Jacob talk about the podcast. Ava, in a very Ava way, makes Jacob realize he made the podcast about him. And it turns out that Melissa won’t be a guest on Jacob’s podcast after all. Melissa realized that because her second and third grade class is combined that she gets to include their reading totals! Therefore, she wins.

 

When Janine goes on the podcast, she approaches it with her usual enthusiasm. Right out of the gate though she and Gregory get blindsided when Clarence asks her if it is true that the two of them were grinding at a club over the break. Clarence says his mother saw them. Janine says they were just dancing in a normal way. Then Raheem says Clarence’s mom saw them leave together. Both Janine and Gregory deny this, and she notes that she was hanging out with Gregory’s friend Maurice. Gregory also reminds Jacob that he didn’t want a shallow podcast. However, Jacob is taking in the gossip and says he would actually love it if they answered the questions. Gregory jumps in naming the sponsor of the podcast instead. However, not to be distracted, Clarence and Raheem say they’re waiting for an answer while Janine and Gregory just look mortified.