Abbott Elementary – Teacher Conference

By starrymag | February 28, 2023

By: Atiya Irvin-Mitchell

 

 

We start with a game of hangman and Janine’s (Quinta Brunson) classroom. The kids can’t guess the right word and are getting frustrated. They want to quit, but Janine being Janine tells them that nothing is impossible. Ava (Janelle James) comes in and possibly out of boredom, she tries to guess the word. She’s totally off with every guess. We cut away and Janine admits to the cameras that she had a word in mind when the game started, but then there was an interruption and she forgot it. She doesn’t want to admit that to the kids though, so the plan is to run out the clock until it’s lunchtime. She reasons that after that the kids will have forgotten about the game.

 

On a completely unrelated note, Jacob (Chris Perfetti) and Janine are stoked because it’s PESCA weekend! What’s PESCA weekend? PESCA is the Pennsylvania Educational Conference for the Southeast Area.  Jacob and Janine are excited about the keynote speech and the panels scheduled throughout the weekend. Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) and Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph); however, say the conference is for new teachers only and they’re just going to have some leisure time. Plus, there’s a networking aspect. It’d look bad if they weren’t at least seen there.

 

A little later in the teacher’s lounge, while Jacob and Janine are trying to settle on which sessions they’d like to attend, we learn that Gregory (Tyler James Williams) won’t be attending. He’s going on a romantic getaway from Amber. Janine and Jacob are disappointed he’s missing their version of the Super Bowl, but he says that it’s the only weekend Amber (Naté Jones) could get a babysitter.

 

Speaking of that, apparently the Lego flowers didn’t go over well with Amber, so this trip is his chance to make it up to her. He really wants it to be a great experience. When Amber swings by towards the end of the day to see Gregory, she says she’s really looking forward to the trip. It’s been a long week at work, so she’s looking forward to just relaxing. Fortunately, Gregory thinks he’s got a schedule to help with that. He’s made a very detailed list of everything they’re going to do in the Poconos, but Amber doesn’t find a lengthy list of scheduled activities relaxing. Gregory says he finds structure relaxing but Amber says she feels like they’re not understanding each other, again.  She tells him that they need to talk.

 

The next day Janine and Jacob are approaching the convention the same way some folks might see a day at Disney World. They’re literally buzzing with excitement and when Melissa and Barbara comment on it Janine admits she’s had a lot of Kombucha. As promised though, Melissa and Barbara are just there for the pool. Then, Melissa is bummed out when she realizes her sister Kristin is there. They trade a few barbs about Melissa’s divorce and Kristin’s (Lauren Weedman) possible post-prom teen pregnancy and go their separate ways.

 

We walk around with Janine and she’s excited to show off her new tote bag. She says that she prefers the conference over Disneyland. While she’s talking about the rides, she doesn’t like her train of thought is interrupted by none other than Ava. She’s doing a presentation on problem teachers and gives an example about an annoying woman with a bubbly personality and mommy issues named “Janina.” Janine doesn’t look happy about it for obvious reasons. Janine decides to walk around instead of seeing what else Ava has to say about “Janina” and bumps into Gregory.

 

Janine is happy to see Gregory but also confused. She wonders why Amber isn’t with him. Gregory says they broke up so he’s there solo. Janine tells him she’s sorry and offers to help distract him. She suggests attending lectures on creativity and Individualized Education Plans because she believes staying busy is his favorite way to decompress.

 

Elsewhere, Jacob made a convention buddy: Summer (Carolyn Gilroy). They’re gushing over podcasts and insightful questions. Jacob is thrilled when she invites him to a game of werewolf later, but he’s hesitant when she reveals she works for Addington. (If you need a refresher that’s the rival charter school.) But when she says they’ve got Cards Against Humanity he agrees to come.

 

While Jacob goes to game night everyone else goes to the big party. Janine and Gregory admit that Melissa and Barbara were right – the party’s amazing. Unfortunately, Ava refuses to let them into the VIP section. Still, there are a lot of drinks named after classes, Sex Ed on the Beach anyone? Melissa and Barbara are in attendance too after a day spent by the pool.

 

They find a seat at a table and find themselves next to a woman named Dawn Nichols (Maggie Carney). Why does that matter? Her family business supplies the best school supplies in the country. Barbara says that an in with her could be amazing for Abbott Elementary. Unfortunately, she’s also been getting friendly with Melissa’s sister. When Kristin comes over to the table with drinks for Dawn, Melissa leaves the table and takes Barbara with her.

 

At the bar Gregory is drowning his sorrows. Barbara’s daughter dumped him, although he wanted to dump her too, and now Amber dumped him. Scientifically, Gregory surmises that the problem must be him. Janine tries to reassure him that he’s a great guy, but it’s just that dating is really hard. Gregory finds that comforting and admits that he and Amber are completely different.

 

In Summer’s room Jacob is having fun playing werewolf. The gist of the game is that it’s a combination of a murder mystery and tag, but with fewer people. Jacob has won the past three rounds and he tells the group that he never lost a game back at Oberlin. Summer is shocked because she went to Oberlin and doesn’t know how they didn’t know each other. Jacob says it’s because he made a decision to try and befriend people from different cultural backgrounds. Summer says she did, too.

 

Downstairs Janine and Gregory are drunkenly taking awkward photos together. They’re both having fun, but Janine is disappointed. She got so wrapped up in the lectures that she missed out on The Living Classroom. It’s a classroom completely decked out in flowers. Gregory says that sounds amazing, but Janine tells him it’s closed now. He suggests that they go anyway.

 

Due to her desire to avoid her sister Melissa has forced Barbara to do several laps around the room. She’s over it though and tells Melissa that she needs to stop avoiding Kristin. She walks over and asks Dawn and Kristin if they can rejoin the table. Dawn says sure, but Kristin makes a dig at Melissa’s cooking. It devolves from there and the sisters nearly come to blows, until someone (Wendy de Barros) bumps into Kristin and then mocks her clothes. The Schamenti sisters then bond over picking apart the woman’s outfit. When she leaves, they say they’ve still got it. With that settled, Barbara asks Dawn about her crayons.

 

The living classroom is everything a flower enthusiast could hope for. Janine and Gregory are taking in all the flowers and discussing (as much as two drunk people can) how beautiful everything is. Janine says it’s better than she imagined. Gregory says the room is like him a combination of plants and teaching. Janine agrees with his assessment and then she tells him to come over and smell some of the flowers. Then, they have to duck under a table made of flowers because they hear voices. Janine says he really does have to smell the flower she’s holding and instead of smelling the flower they kiss.

 

Janine and Gregory break apart they both look shocked. When they talk to the cameras, they try immediately to minimize it. They say it meant nothing and they were caught up in the moment. The reasoning is that Gregory is on the rebound and Janine is still seeing Maurice.

 

The upstairs game night continues, and everyone’s drunk and having fun. Summer asks Jacob to come work at Addington. Jacob says he’s enjoyed hanging out with them, but he loves Addington. Summer says if he came to Addington that he’d get to teach the smartest kids in the city – only the best of the best. Jacob wonders how they have room for so many kids. Summer explains that they only focus on the cream of the crop. The implication here is that they might be sending kids away if they don’t perform well enough. In response to Jacob’s questions Summer says they need to focus on helping kids with a shot of making it out, but Jacob wonders from where they are making it out. But no one answers him.

 

The next morning Barbara and Melissa are hungover because there was a Matharina drinking contest. Thankfully, Barbara got the in with Dawn Nichols so Abbott’s going to be set on school supplies. Melissa still says what happened last night was a fluke and not her and Kristin making up.

 

A less hungover Jacob and Janine reconnect and compare nights. Janine doesn’t tell Jacob about the kiss. Jacob shares with her that he hung out with the Addington teachers and doesn’t like them. We cut away and see that Ava is pretending to be Janine to get out of room service charges. The next day Kristin shocks Melissa by showing up at Abbott Elementary in a trench coat, hat and sunglasses. Kristin says no one can know she’s here but she heard some talk at the conference and if Abbott becomes a charter school none of the teachers’ jobs will be safe. After this exchange and Kristin stressing that Melissa can’t say she heard any of this from her, Janine spots her and says her full name on camera…repeatedly. So much for anonymity.

 

In the teacher’s lounge things feel a bit awkward between Gregory and Janine. Ava comes over to share some gossip. She says the word on the street is that at the convention was taht two teachers shared a hot kiss over the weekend. Both Janine and Gregory look nervous, but then Ava says it was Jacob and Summer. Jacob points out that he’s gay, but Ava says she knows Summer made out with a nerdy white guy. We see the footage and it was just David (Mark Sipka), the guy at the front desk of the hotel.