Abbott Elementary – Winter Break

By starrymag | December 11, 2024

By: Atiya Irvin-Mitchell

 

 

It’s the first day of winter break and all the teachers are at school stealing. Ava (Janelle James) came to take the tree, Janine (Quinta Brunson) came for toilet paper, Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) came for milk and most of Melissa’s (Lisa Ann Walter) Christmas dinner was stored at Abbott Elementary. Since the gang’s all here, Janine invites the staff to her apartment for Christmas Eve. Melissa and Barbara are having dinner at Melissa’s house and Ava says one party with Janine was enough. Jacob (Chris Perfetti) comes to school too, but not to steal anything. He just forgot there wasn’t school today.

 

Melissa is stressing about cooking dinner for her family. Jacob assumes she wants her family to have a good meal, but in truth Melissa just wants to shut them up. They’re pretty judgmental about her divorce and they don’t think an unmarried woman can be a good host, so she wants to prove them all wrong. Caleb (Tyler Tomás Perez) says she doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone; however, Melissa says her family is going to find any reason to pick apart her food and her by proxy. The doorbell rings and her family has started arriving.

 

At Janine’s apartment, Gregory (Tyler James Williams) and Janine are settling on a movie to watch and pick The Santa Clause. Janine burned the cookies but is happy that it’s just the two of them. Then, she gives him Christmas pajamas, which Gregory says he won’t wear.

 

As predicted Melissa’s relatives are pretty critical of her and her home. Her Uncle Archie (Ian Patrick Williams) says the house has gotten smaller, her cousin Anthony (Jeremy Luke) says being around Melissa makes him feel better about himself and her mother Teresa (Talia Shire) insults her makeup choices. The insults don’t stop with her. When Barbara and Gerald (Richard Brooks) arrive Uncle Archie says he didn’t realize it was a progressive dinner. Melissa apologizes to the Howards and sends Uncle Archie upstairs.

 

Now that Uncle Racist is gone Jacob gives an intro to the rest of the Schemmenti family. There’s Melissa’s sister Kristin Marie (Lauren Weedman), cousin Seamus (Chad Coe), and an assortment of other family members. Elsewhere, for no apparent reason, Mr. Johnson (William Stanford Davis) is playing Santa and going around giving his coworkers gifts. He gives Gregory a book called How to Have a Personality and Janine gets socks. Then, Ava surprises them by taking Janine up on her Christmas Eve invite.

 

Teresa and Kristin-Marie continue to bug Melissa about her love life. Melissa tells her family that she and Captain Robinson (Mike O’Malley) are too new for Christmas dinner introductions, but her mother is worried she’ll be lonely on Christmas day. On the upside, though, her mother points out that being lonely on Christmas makes for great songs.

 

Jacob goes up to his room to grab something and finds Archie unresponsive on his bed. He tries to activate the life alert because he thinks Uncle Archie is dead. When Caleb comes in, he asks him to check for a pulse and Caleb confirms that Uncle Archie is “super dead.”

 

The brothers Hill go into the kitchen and tell Melissa that her uncle died. At first, Melissa doesn’t believe it because Uncle Archie has a sleep apnea, but Caleb says he couldn’t feel a pulse. Gentle reminder: Caleb is a personal trainer and not a doctor or nurse. Jacob volunteers to call 9-1-1 while Melissa informs her family, but she’s not so keen on doing that. Melissa says she’s been planning this dinner for weeks and if they find out Archie died, they’ll find a way to blame her. She doesn’t want the dinner to join her uncle in hell, so she wants to wait until after dinner to inform them. Plus, she points out that Archie won’t be less dead in two hours.

 

Barbara comes into the kitchen and Jacob tells her the news. She decides that if Melissa is good then she’s good. Jacob is confused that everyone (who knows) is being so glib about the dead man in his bed, but Barbara says not everything is about you.

 

Ava, Janine and Gregory settle in at her apartment, but Janine is confused that Ava doesn’t have other plans. Ava reveals that she has already visited her grandmother at the home, but she doesn’t have any other family in town. Gentle reminder, Gregory recently had his hair cut by Ava’s father and hasn’t told her yet.

 

Meanwhile, Melissa is doing everything in her power to keep everyone from going upstairs. On the upside, dinner is almost ready and then Melissa says they’re home free.

 

Gregory, Janine and Ava are watching a slasher film instead of the Christmas movie that Janine wanted to watch. Janine asks Gregory to get rid of Ava due to her lack of holiday cheer and he agrees. But when he tries to talk to Ava, he instead tells her he met her father. Ava doesn’t have a big reaction because she doesn’t have a good relationship with her dad and, as it remains, her grandmother is the only relative she’s close to in town. He never asks Ava to leave.

 

Dinner is served at Melissa’s house and Melissa’s family is actually enjoying it. Melissa’s mother says that her rollatini could almost pass for her Nona’s rollatini. At first glance, that feels backhanded, but Melissa says that’s the closest she’ll get to a compliment from her mother. When they’re in the kitchen Jacob thinks it’s time to call 9-1-1, but Melissa says the dinner isn’t a success until everyone’s had their cannoli and cried over how good it is.

 

As Melissa is serving the Schemmenti cannoli, Mr. Johnson arrives with red hair dye and tells her to tell Jacob he’s taking him sledding Sunday morning. Then, Captain Robinson arrives because they got a life alert and are there to check if anyone is dead or just fell.

 

The good news is that there isn’t a dead bigot in Jacob’s bed after all because Uncle Archie is alive. Unfortunately, Caleb just doesn’t know how to take someone’s pulse. Back at Janine’s apartment Gregory reluctantly explains Ava’s family situation with her permission. Ava doesn’t want Janine to try and fix her relationship with her father. Ava also admits that she’s not immune to feeling vulnerable during the holidays and Janine says there is nothing wrong with leaning on your work family.

 

The family is leaving and admitting (in their own way) that despite being divorced she’s an okay cook. And Melissa’s mom seems to like Captain Robinson and Kristin-Marie says if Uncle Archie had died it would’ve been the best Christmas ever. The only downside is that Seamus is throwing up in Jacob’s bed.

 

Ava ends up bailing on Gregory and Janine for a party bus because she was just killing time. Although, she did get them matching mugs that said “head-ass” as a gift. In the end, Ava says Christmas Eve is the best time to go clubbing because no one there has kids. On the upside, Gregory and Janine can finally enjoy their Christmas movie in their matching PJs.

 

Mr. Johnson is dressed like Santa still and has a big red bag that seems to be filled with money. He admits that he forgot to give gifts to Barbara and Ava and says he needs to start making a list. Then, he heads into a gentlemen’s club called The North Pole for the night.