American Gods – Lemon Scented You

By: Kelly Kearney

Lemon Scented You goes full steam ahead with the tensions between the new and old gods, stepping away from last week’s detour into the life, death and life after the death of Laura Moon (Emily Browning). This week Shadow (Ricky Whittle) struggles with Laura’s need to rekindle their relationship and he gets a surprise visitor from an unlikely female icon that blows Mr. Wednesday’s secrets right out of the water.

 LAURA MOON, DEAD GIRL WALKING

After a brief history lesson about the mortality of the gods, Shadow comes face to face with his dead wife who’s trying her best to learn how to feel again.  After the initial shock of seeing Laura, Shadow has questions and the two have a heart to heart. Shadow wants to know all the details of her affair with Robbie (Dane Cook) and Laura doesn’t hold back with the truth. The living corpse bride tells him that she had every intention of waiting for her husband, but five years is a long time and after their cat died she buckled to Robbie’s flirtations. She admits to her husband that it didn’t mean anything and if she didn’t realize how much she loved Shadow in life, she’s certainly full of love for him in death. Shadow admits that after the last time they spoke, he had a feeling he would ever see her again. A storm is rolling across the entire country and he knew he would somehow take the brunt of its force. Normally, when face to face with your dead wife, a person might run screaming from their hotel room, but not Shadow Moon. Laura popping up isn’t the weirdest thing that’s happened this week – not with Czernobog (Peter Stormore), bank robberies and miraculous snowstorms that Shadow’s witnessed. Still, most dead people stay dead. So, although he’s glad to see her, he’s not too keen on consummating her resurrection and, honestly, who can blame him. She’s literally rotting from the inside out. The fact she’s technically dead doesn’t change the fact they love each other and the two share a heated kiss that ignites Laura’s heart, warms her chest and gives her the first feeling she’s had since crawling her way out of her eternal dirt nap.

BACK IN THE CLINK

After their talk, Laura asks Shadow to get her some cigarettes while she warms her cold flesh in a bath. While his wife is locked in the motel bathroom, the police show up and take both Shadow and Wednesday (Ian McShane) in for questioning over their bank robbing escapades. Shadow’s only been out of jail for a few days and he’s not feeling this interrogation from the arresting officer (Tracie Thoms) and demands his lawyer. In the other room is Wednesday who’s doing his best impression of a senile old man. Of course, this leads the police to assume Shadow used the old man as a cover, but Moon is not talking. The female officer admits that the robbery was brilliant and they might not have caught them a few states away if it wasn’t for the fact they were sent a series of anonymous tips. So strange were these tips that they came from a fax machine that hasn’t been turned on since fax machines were all the rage. Who sent the cops on their trail and just how powerful are Shadow and Wednesday’s enemies?

While Shadow and Wednesday cool their heels in the clink, Technical Boy (Bruce Langley) is still annoying as ever and getting sucked into his virtual reality where he meets a very familiar Starman. Media (Gillian Anderson), who has embodied Ziggy Stardust, tries to straighten out Technical Boy and his terrible behavior. Speaking in a foray of Bowie lyrics and song snippets, she tells him their boss, Mr. World (Crispin Glover), is not happy that he and his goons lynched Shadow. He’s demanding Technical Boy make a formal apology. World sent Media to corral the insufferable punk into an apology and, of course, he refuses. Media tries explaining it in her best Ziggy Stardust vibe that Wednesday might be old and out of touch, but the humans get restless when their starmen fall from the sky. They are trying to defuse Wednesday’s push for war and attacking Shadow had the opposite effect. She says, “Wednesday was suffocating, the spark was smoldering and then you came along putting out the fire with gasoline.” Not only did he disrespect the old god and ignite his fire, lynching a black man, in this day and age, doesn’t make for good PR for the new gods. His orders are to apologize to Wednesday and his man Shadow or he will be answering to Mr. World and from the sounds of that, it is most definitely a threat.

MR. WORLD

We soon find out how powerful Wednesday’s enemies are when he and Shadow hear what can only be described as a murderous ruckus outside of the interrogation room. Wednesday is scared and rightly so when the door flies open and Media, embodying the likeness of Marilyn Monroe, shocks the men with her sultry, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” entrance. Of course, Shadow knows Media from when she spoke to him through the TV at Costco and he is beyond shocked at what he’s witnessing. After her attempts to seduce the two men with her unicorn, rainbow technicolor dreamscape, in walks the real villain of this story, Mr. World. Mr. World, while respectful to Wednesday, is a creepy, untrustworthy man not to be taken lightly. He’s come to offer his apologies to Wednesday for Technical Boy’s lynching of Shadow. Technical Boy also shows up and Mr. World forces him to apologize because Wednesday is older than all the gods and deserves respect. Of course, Technical Boy sees Wednesday as old news and agrees, albeit begrudgingly, to offer the old man some respect. Unimpressed, Wednesday wants to know what Mr. World and Media want from him and the answer is surprising if not a downright lie. World claims he wants to rebrand Wednesday and his fellow old gods. They are tired and old and barely hanging on to the slim followers they have. A god cannot survive without its flock of worshippers and in this new age, where people worship technology and celebrities, he cannot compete. He is the horse and buggy to Mr. World’s Tesla and the offer to modernize the old gods could only help their survival. Not only are the old gods tired and unappealing, the people of America have no need for them. To give the people’s life meaning the Gods need to make their lives an impossible existence without them.

MAD SWEENEY AND THE DEAD WIFE

Ever since Mad Sweeney (Pablo Schreiber) gave his lucky coin to Shadow Moon his luck taken a tragic turn. He set out on a mission to find it and after learning Laura Moon rose from the dead and walked off with his luck, he tracks her down at the motel. Laura isn’t about to give back that coin and, besides, it’s inside her stomach for safe keeping. Mad offers her any number of coins he poofs out of thin air, but she isn’t dumb and knows that luck is probably tied to her dead woman walking existence. She refuses to hand it over and Mad tells her that he will just wait until her flesh rots from her bones. It should be sooner rather than later since she keeps soaking her dead flesh in hot water. The two start fighting and Mad tries to forcibly take his coin back, but Laura has superhuman strength and takes him down with little effort. She tells him to get out and if he’s lucky she won’t groin kick him in half like she did Technical Boy’s goons. Mad has no plans of giving up and makes one last ditch effort to drown the coin out of her in the tub, only the police show up and find a mad man strangling a dead woman in the bathroom. Mad gets arrested and Laura is sent to the morgue where she later walks out on her own, but not before she puts someone else in her place. The medical examiner can’t know bodies just get up and disappear. Plus, they need a body to keep Mad Sweeney behind bars.

A Satellite of Death

Not only does Mr. World want to rebrand the old gods he’s got an idea on how to boost their followers. If Wednesday agrees to partner with the new gods, they will launch an Odin Satellite over North Korea, bringing death and destruction to the land, in Wednesdays name. For a God whose power relies on human sacrifice, this offer seems right up Wednesday’s alley. World leaves to let Wednesday mull over his offer, but Technical Boy is not happy about it. He rants about how Mr. World is leaving the old gods with the upper hand and World should take them out now while he has them at his mercy. Media shuts Technical Boy up with a blown kiss that hits him like a hard-right hook, knocking his front teeth out and silencing his rage. Media and the toothless punk disappear leaving a confused Shadow and Wednesday behind. Luckily, the two men get a little help from a spider who picks their handcuff locks and they escape but not before witnessing the carnage Mr. World left behind. The police station looks like a tornado of serial killers went through it. Every officer is slaughtered in the most creative way, some disemboweled and others hanging from the ceiling in pieces. It’s a total bloodbath and the men flee before they’re held responsible. Outside, a patrol car pulls up with Laura Moon’s “Murderer,” Mad Sweeney. The arresting officer gets out of the car to check out the grizzly scene and it looks like the leprechaun still can’t catch a break.

The new gods might be offering a new, “Lemon Scented You,” to the older deities but their message is clear; join us or join the bloodbath. Little do they know, a bloodbath is exactly what Wednesday was hoping for, on his terms of course. The only scent he’s interested in is the smell of victory over Mr. World and his new regime that’s trying to snuff out the old order.  With the fortune-telling sisters, Czernobog and his man Shadow at his side, does he have the power to take out the powerful Mr. World and his accomplices? Find out next week on an all new “American Gods.”