American Gods – The Bone Orchard

By: Kelly Kearney

Starz new drama “American Gods” hit the television landscape with a knockout punch. Showrunner Bryan Fuller did not disappoint with his adaptation of author Neil Gaiman’s book Shadow Moon about a battle between the old and new gods and an unlikely hero.

Coming To America 813 CE

The series begins with an American history lesson by a writer armed with a quill and parchment paper with a header that reads, “Coming to America 813 CE.” The author transports us to a time when the new world was discovered. Boats of Viking explorers arrive on the shore only to be greeted by the land’s native warriors who are less than forgiving with their new visitors. As the author narrates, we learn that not only are the living conditions harsh, rife with insects and poverty but the natives are excellent archers and have no problem killing anyone who dares to step foot on their homeland. Unfortunately for these Vikings, sticking it out to stake their claim becomes impossible and the crew would like to flee only the wind is not cooperating with their sails. Without the proper weather conditions the explorers are stuck in this new and dangerous land until the wind can propel their boats back home. The men try everything to tempt the gods into lending them the winden go as far as plucking out their own eyes, as a sacrifice to their god, the All Father. Finally, after a full on bloody battle in god’s honor, they are blessed with windy sailing conditions. The All Father either loves a gruesome battle or the weather patterns decided to cooperate because the explorers don’t even take the time to collect their wounded men, they hit the high seas away from the cursed new world that will one day be named America.

It Smells Like Snow

Flash-forward to the present and we are in a prison exercise yard watching the main character, Shadow Moon (Ricky Whittle), lift weights and ponder his life post incarceration. Moon is scheduled to be released in five days and while most prisoners would be like an excited kid on Christmas eve, Shadow can’t shake the feeling that something bad is brewing. Is it the weather? He tells a fellow inmate (Jonathon Tucker), it smells like snow and while a coldness is about to hit Shadow, it won’t come in the form of snowflakes.

After his time in the yard, Shadow calls his wife Laura (Emily Browning) who lovingly refers to her beefy husband as “puppy,” during their chat. Laura tries to reassure Shadow that everyth9ing is fine at home and she’s counting down the days until he’s free. Words are just that, words. They do nothing to settle the uneasy feelings of Moon. While in bed that night, Shadow slips into a psychedelic dream about Laura, an evil forest with a ground made of skeleton bones and trees that grab and rip at the dreaming man. It’s an orchard of bones with murderous foliage that cuts Moon to shreds.

In the morning, Shadow is called to the warden’s (Richard Blackburn) office with good and bad news. The good news is Moon is getting out of jail four days early and the bad news is it’s because his wife Laura died in a car accident the night before. With his belongings packed and donning a crisp suit, Shadow Moon leaves prison and heads to the airport to catch a flight to back home.

Mr. Wednesday

At the airport, flights are heavily booked and the agent at the gate (Siobhan Fallon Hogan) is giving Shadow trouble over changing his ticket. Even the death of his wife can’t sway the woman to allow the grieving widower on the booked flight. After spending the night in the airport, Shadow watches an older man con the ticket agent into upgrading him to first class, using a funeral as an excuse, the same reasoning that got Shadow benched all night. Moon can tell this man is a con-artist and lucky him, he’s seated directly next to the older man when his seat gets double booked. The older man, who we learn is Mr. Wednesday (Ian McShane), seems to be making the most of his con by ordering drinks, chatting up the flight staff and practically drooling over any woman that strolls through first class. On the other side of the spectrum is Shadow who’s nervous to fly when he can feel a storm or maybe snow is coming. After bragging about conning the woman at the gate, Mr. Wednesday randomly offers Shadow a job which he declines since he has one waiting for him back home at his friend Robbie’s gym. Eerily Mr. Wednesday says, “No you don’t,” and is convinced Shadow will take the job he’s offering since, “I usually end up getting what I want, on average, over time. It’s about getting people to believe in you. It’s not their cash it’s their faith,” the mystery man says. Who is this Mr. Wednesday and why does he seem to know Shadow Moon’s future?

A Date With Bilquis

“American Gods” bounces from one character’s interlude to another, across time periods and even conscious realms. That’s when we meet Bilquis (Yetide Badaki). Bilquis, a young, beautiful and dark woman who brings her total opposite of a blind date, Paunch (Joel Murray), home for some post dinner sacrificial nookie. The two have sex and Bilquis admits she is not what she once was, but her date disagrees saying she’s the sexiest woman he’s never had to pay for sex. Quickly, the man’s lust turns into a rant of worshiping every part of Bilquis’ body and the stronger the worship, the more she sucks him in, literally. At the height of their sexual encounter he pledges his faith and undying love to her. The man is then completely sucked into Bilquis like a reverse birth from Hell, leaving no traces of him behind.

Back on the plane, Shadow has fallen asleep and dreams of the frightening bone orchard as well as a white Buffalo with flaming eyes that say, “believe.” An emergency landing wakes him from his disturbing dream leaving Shadow no other option but to rent a car and drive the rest of the way home. After making a quick stop in an Indiana state park where he screams his frustrations across miles of empty lands, Shadow winds up at a hole in the wall bar where Mr. Wednesday just happens to show up. Not only did the man obviously follow Shadow to the bar, he also knows Laura is dead as is his friend Robbie, the one with the job at the gym. With no job to go back to, Wednesday lets Shadow know his job offer is still on the table. Moon has nothing left to lose and agrees to let a coin toss determine whether he takes the job or not. Shadow tries out conning the con man by rigging the toss, but winds up losing to Wednesday and seals the deal with three shots of mead. What does this new job entail? Everything and anything Mr. Wednesday asks of him or as he says, “You take care of things, generally, on my behalf.” Of course, fighting on Wednesday’s behalf is at the top of the list since the man seems to have a lot of enemies. One in particular is a red headed Leprechaun named Mad Sweeney (Pablo Schreiber) who can make gold coins pop out of thin air. Making money appear is only one of Mad’s skills as he also has a knack of getting into fights and he picks Shadow for his current sparring partner. Shadow has no intention of fighting the brawler until Sweeney starts talking about Moon’s dead wife Laura. Having just lost the woman triggers Shadow into a bloody bar room beat down between him and the leprechaun that ends with Moon taking one of the gold coins as a winner’s fee.

Technical Boy

After the fight, a hungover and bruised Shadow wakes up in Wednesday’s car on the road to Laura’s funeral. His new boss tossed Moon’s rental car in lieu of his throwback car named Betty, a ride he informs Shadow he will get use too now that they’re working together. The two make it to the funeral in time for Shadow to get an earful from Robbie’s wife, Audrey (Betty Gilpin). The woman is drunk and belligerent and tells Shadow her husband and Laura died together in a rather compromising position. Laura didn’t wait for her husband to come home. Instead, she took up with his friend and now both are dead. Audrey isn’t handling it well and tries to numb her pain by sexually propositioning Moon on top of Laura’s grave. Shadow fights off Audrey’s aggressive attempts at bedding the man on the burial plot since Shadow is not in the mood for payback funeral sex. He calms the irate woman down and then tosses his winning coin like a wish on Laura’s grave, which gets sucked down into the fresh dirt by the coin’s own accord.

After the bizarre encounter at the grave, Shadow thinks he hears someone in the cemetery. Lurking around he locates the noise coming from a helmet that latches onto Moon’s face like an alien, sending him spiraling through a pixelated world and dropping him in the limo of a man child named Technical Boy (Bruce Langley). Falling through a matrix would be fun if it wasn’t for Tech Boy’s faceless minions who wind up beating and hanging Shadow from a noose after he refuses to give their leader information on Mr. Wednesday. Beaten and hanging lifeless from a tree, a mystery hero emerges and saves the day. Seconds from death, Shadow’s noose breaks as Tech Boy’s minions are ripped in half, bathing the saved man in their blood like an apocalyptic baptism. One by one the assailants are obliterated, torn apart, by the faceless hero while Shadow slips away into an ignorant and bloody bliss, never knowing who saved him from an early death.