American Horror Stories – Rubber (Wo)man: Part Two

By: Kelly Kearney

When we left off with Scarlett tricking her dads into thinking her sudden foray into home remodeling was an apology for her disobeying their rules and not inspired by the five dead bodies she bricked in behind her bedroom wall. Part Two of the premiere shows us that no matter how you try to cover up your misdeeds, the Murder House will always out your truth while simultaneously trying to lock you into its homespun nightmares.

Murder-Ghost Girlfriends

With the bodies of her victims slowly rotting away in the Murder House’s walls, Scarlett (Sierra McCormick) has fully embraced her killer instinct and it is all thanks to her knife wielding Cindy Crawford look-a-like girlfriend, Ruby (Kaia Gerber). Like Tate before her, Ruby is the current ghostly killer haunting the halls of Michael and Troy’s home and their daughter, who loves the dark and twisted side of life, couldn’t be happier with their new roomie. When we find Scarlett and Ruby washing the death off of themselves, we catch a glimpse of what motivates this statuesque ghost and why she is so enamored with Scarlett. The Murder House drew Ruby in with its promise of a celebratory death to escape her abusive uncle. The glory of a gory end in the famed haunted house would give her tragic existence some meaning, so it is no surprise when during their joint bath Ruby leans in to whisper suicidal nothings into Scarlett’s ear. She wants her living girlfriend to join her in the afterlife so the two can live side by side for eternity.

Elsewhere, Michael (Matt Bomer) and Troy (Gavin Creel) have their own growing problems with their deadly investment: namely, updates and a flirtatious contractor named Adam (Aaron Tveit). With the financial strain of owning the house and their daughter’s concerning interest in torture porn, the dads have been overwhelmed and their relationship has paid the price. So much so, the couple finds themselves struggling to find that spark that led them to holy matrimony to begin with. Enter Adam, who offers to let Troy pay him for is work in sexual favors and, at first, he refuses but we all know how expensive remodeling can be. It is a test that Troy fails with flying rainbow colors when he and the contractor find themselves hooking up in the basement. Michael is unaware of his husband’s infidelity, but when Adam discovers what is hidden behind Scarlett’s bedroom wall all the proverbial skeletons come flying out of the closet.

Our Precious Baby is a Killer!

It seems Scarlett learned nothing from her flipper dads because as the smell from the bodies invades the home Adam breaks through the shoddy grout and uneven bricks to discover Maya (Paris Jackson) and the rest of her dead friends. Most people would call the police the minute they found a collection of corpses, but not this contractor. He does the only thing he can think of and kills his assistant, the only witness to this gruesome discovery, and tosses him in with the rest of the dead. His reasoning? Blackmail, of course. He wants a cut of the profits from the haunted bed and breakfast and that’s not all: he also wants to turn this married two-some into a financially advantageous thrupple! Michael, who is both shocked and devastated by his unfaithful husband, is not about that threesome life and, to be honest, none of them are about life in general. We quickly learn that Michael, Troy and Adam are all dead thanks to Scarlett’s little bad-ass girlfriend, Ruby. After all, what better way to convince your girlfriend to kill herself than turning death it into a family affair?

All Hallows Eve

Speaking of that leather clad ghost with legs that go on for days, Ruby is all a flutter about the upcoming holiday All Hallows Eve. It is the one night of the year that the Murder House’s ghosts can leave the property and interact with the living. It’s a big deal and she isn’t about to waste it when she and Scarlett can finally prowl the town for their next victims. The bad news is so can Maya and her friends and they have been itching for revenge. Any other day of the year Scarlett is untouchable since they cannot kill her inside the house or else risk spending an eternity with her, but on Halloween they can snuff her out away from the property and never have to see her again. When putting their plan into action they didn’t account for Scarlett’s best friend Shanti (Belissa Escobedo) who has not only been a thorn in jealous Ruby’s side but also gets in the way of their revenge. When all the teens are roaming the streets easily hidden in the mix of the trick or treaters, Maya gets caught bullying Shanti which in turn upsets Scarlett and angers her volatile girlfriend. Nobody makes Scarlett unhappy if Ruby can help it. All jealousies aside, Ruby sees how important Shanti is to Scarlett and goes out of her way to protect the girl from Maya. In what must be their first act of decency, Maya and her friends realize killing Scarlett isn’t worth it. They went too far with the live streaming and, while victim shaming isn’t my particular cup of Joe, they did go above and beyond to get a killer reaction out of the embarrassed killer in rubber. As the sun starts to break in the horizon, Scarlett, Maya, her three friends, and Ruby decide to call a truce. Whatever issues they have with each other can be worked out without more death and if not there is always next Halloween.

Unfortunately, there won’t be time to patch up their friendships because Scarlett has decided she is leaving he Murder House. Her fathers are dead and it is about time her victim’s families got some peace and were able to bury their children without sending their killer to jail. Losing Scarlett is Ruby’s worst nightmare, but their love is not a selfish one seems to be one that will last forever. She has no interest in forcing her girlfriend to spend an eternity resenting her for being locked behind the doors of a house she never wanted to move into in the first place, and besides, the ghosts now have Wi-Fi. They can always text each other in between her visits with the dads. Scarlett keeps that promise with continued calls updating her on the teen ghosts and her dads’ thrupple drama with the contractor. For Scarlett, the Murder House might be in her rearview mirror but the bonds she shares with its occupants guides her life’s next mission. When she said her goodbyes to Ruby she promised her two things: To slaughter the uncle who forced her into taking her own life and return to the Murder House for a loving Halloween embrace with her girlfriend. Considering the tragedies this haunted residence is responsible for, it’s nice to know someone gets to have their happy ending even if it’s on the run from one massacre to the next.