American Horror Story – Apocalypse Then

By: Kelly Kearney

Filled with time jumps, car crashes and one seriously ticked off grandmother, American Horror Story served up its deliciously evil finale to throngs of starving fans hoping for the answer to one question: How do you stop the Antichrist from fulfilling his destiny? Well, hang on to your Balenciaga bags because this finale is one bumpy ride!

MYRTLE SNOW; THE ETERNAL MYSTERY

With the end of the world nipping at their heels, Myrtle (Frances Conroy) decides to get a head start on Michael’s (Cody Fern) plans by sashaying her way into the Robotics lab to score some information on the Outposts. After trading barbs with Ms. Venable (Sarah Paulson) [note to self: do not question the mystery of Myrtle Snow’s hair] and thoroughly putting the woman in her place, “purple is for royalty, dear, not middle management,” she makes her way to Mutt (Billy Eichner) and Jeff’s (Evan Peters) apocalypse planning room where she learns of their disastrous plans. With a flick of her wrist, she immobilizes Satan’s version of Dumb and Dumber and secures a spot in the Hawthorne School (Outpost three) for her fellow witches. It takes all of the red head’s strength not to snuff the life out of the Robo-Dorks, but alas, the fate of the world is in the Coven’s hands and by default these two idiot’s hands as well.

Back at Misty’s (Lily Rabe) cabin in the woods, Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) prepares her witches for the identity spell. The incantation not only wipes their memories but also throws the Antichrist off of their smell, something Madison (Emma Roberts) was concerned about because “he can smell a witch right away, like some kind of evil truffle pig.” This will also give Mallory (Billie Lourd) time to hone her time traveling skills since she is their only hope of stopping Michael and resurrecting the planet. As if the fate of the world on her shoulders isn’t heavy enough, Cordelia drops a truth bomb on Mallory. When the spell breaks, she only has one shot to travel back in time and stop Satan’s son from killing mankind…BUT NO PRESSURE MALLORY! To help the next Supreme fly under Michael’s radar, Coco’s (Leslie Grossman) new identity (who would put Madison’s snobbery to shame) will be awful enough to keep her BFF’s magic thoroughly oppressed. Before Cordelia casts her spell, Coco apologizes to Mallory in advance for however her future behaves. The moment is sweet, with Mallory promising to stand by Coco’s side, no matter what, because even new Mallory wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her friend.

TIME JUMPING INTO THE PAST FROM THE FUTURE TO SAVE THE PRESENT

After Cordelia blows some witch’s dust and casts her spell, we get catapulted back to 2015 before the apocalypse. Zipping through the L.A. streets in an Uber driven by Madison, assistant Mallory is frantically trying to please her boss, Coco, by booking a hair appointment with Beverly Hill’s most famous stylist. When the car ride from Hell ends, Madison dumps the two women out in front of Gallant’s (Evan Peters) studio and that’s when she spies a bus advertisement for Dinah’s (Adina Porter) talk show. She speeds off as Coco plops into Gallant’s chair just as Brock’s (Billy Eichner) finishing up in the seat next to her. The freshly quaffed man pays the windblown heiress a compliment and it’s pretty clear that Coco is smitten.

A quick time jump again lands us in the Outpost when Mallory blasted Michael with her fiery powers. Whatever was in that blast triggered Cordelia, Myrtle and Madison’s resurrection from their graves. The witches shake off their nuclear grave dust and head to Outpost Three where our survivors just bobbed for poison apples. This brings us to the present where Cordelia breathes new life into Mallory, Coco and Dinah breaking their identity spell and reversing the effects of the poison. Now, it’s finally time to deal with Michael only Dinah, who sold her soul to Satan, has no interest in stopping her master’s son. Besides, the talk show host likes a winner and the Antichrist has a fate to fulfill. Luckily, Cordelia has no interest in Dinah’s help as she has a more powerful witch in mind. In a flashback, we find out Cordelia cut a deal with Papa Legba to trade Dinah’s soul for the release of the Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett). Cue Marie, who rolls onto the scene in pure bloody rage as she hacks Dinah down with a machete. At the same time, Cordelia unleashes hell on Michael when she obliterates Miriam Mead with a spell that spews robot guts all over the walls of Hawthorne. Enraged over his Mommy doll, Michael gears up for a fight but Madison stops him with Mead’s robotic arm gun. The witch plugs the Antichrist full of holes until he falls into a heap on the floor. Cordelia warns them that his powers are too great, and the bullets won’t keep him down for long. She grabs Myrtle and Mallory and the three head upstairs where they run into Brock who stabs Mallory in the torso for stealing his spot in the Outpost! Mallory crumples to the ground and Cordelia desperately tries to heal her, but with both Supreme and future Supreme are too weak the task seems impossible. Incensed with pure rage, Myrtle uses her powers to light Brock on fire. At the same time, Madison comes face to face with Michael who decapitates her with a snap of his fingers.  It’s back to retail hell for that witch!

With Mallory fading, Cordelia and Myrtle drag her to a bathtub hoping they can spark her magic to travel through time. Holding a piece of Michael’s hair that Myrtle snatched from his head, Mallory tries to summon her powers, but she isn’t strong enough. Meanwhile, Marie Laveau tries to stop Michael with a voodoo spell, but it’s just not strong enough. He rips out her heart and eats it while Coco tries to save the day by plunging a dagger into his back. He laughs off the calorie counters murderous attempt and snaps her neck.

Upstairs, the scene with Mallory is becoming hopeless and Myrtle says what we are all thinking, “it appears as though we are f*cked, my dear.”  Thankfully, Cordelia has a plan and she runs towards Michael as Myrtle watches on in utter devastation, knowing what’s coming. Michael brags about finally getting the satisfaction he’s been searching for. He knew Cordelia was too crafty to die in the apocalypse and now he gets to kill her and quench his witches’ thirst. Not so fast Mike since Cordelia is as smart as she is powerful. Cordelia knows there is only one chance left to beat Michael so the Supreme summons a knife from his hands and stabs herself in the heart! No satisfaction for you, devil boy! Not only did Michael miss out on killing his arch nemesis but Cordelia’s death sparks life into her successor. Mallory finally comes to long enough to hurdle back in time and fix the past to save the present!

A transfer of energy

After the renewal spell is cast, Mallory lands in 2015 where a prepubescent Michael is getting the wrath of his grandmother. Constance (Jessica Lange) just found her grandson standing over a dead priest and she is furious! The woman is tired of cleaning up his messes and then burying the bodies in her rose garden. He’s made a fool of her and took advantage of her kindness, all the while she was hoping her love could change him. Michael tries to play the innocent act and appeals to Constance’s maternal side, but the woman doesn’t buy it and grabs him by the throat claiming he is not her grandson. Whatever he is, this thing that inhabited her grandson’s body, he is not her boy. With a combination of fury and grief, Constance grabs a bag and orders Michael to pack and leave her house. Michael jumps up and starts strangling her, but he can’t do it and Constance laughs at his weakness. Michael lets her go and takes off out of the Murder House only to be run down by Mallory! The witch slams her Range Rover into Michael and backs up over him again. While Constance looks on from the garden, offering a silent signal of approval, Mallory hits the gas and runs Michael over for a third time leaving him gasping for air. Constance approaches with mixed emotions as he begs his grandmother to let him die inside the house. Death inside the Murder House means he can be with her forever, but Constance leaves him in the street to die because granny is done playing Satan’s games! Michael expires in the street, steps from front his grandmother’s house, and it’s all thanks to Mallory being in the perfect place and time. She was able to kill him before Michael came into his full devilish powers.

With the Antichrist dead, Mallory heads to New Orleans to join Mrs. Robichaux’s Academy where she changes the fate of her fellow Coven members who happen to all be alive! Right off the bat, Cordelia thinks she recognizes the new student, but Mallory chalks it up to having a familiar face. We finally see Zoe teaching this year’s witch recruits and Queenie, who is ecstatic about a trip to Los Angeles and her cheap room at The Hotel Cortez. Doing what she does best, Mallory changes Queenie’s fate by telling her that the Cortez is too far from the beach and not a good place to stay. Not only does Mallory save Queenie and her fellow witches from their fate, but with a little help from Nan (Jamie Brewer) and her newly established street cred in Hell she frees Misty and returns her to a very grateful Cordelia. The Supreme not only has the power of renewal but she also has the ability to alter fate and rescue people from Hell…at least Misty anyway. Mallory decides to let Madison sweat it out a little longer in retail Hell. All in all, things seem to have worked out for the witches, but Mallory still worries about the future. Even though she is all powerful, the undercover Supreme wonders if killing Michael altered his fate for good or if that evil is just lying dormant. After all, life is energy and energy can’t be destroyed. It can only be passed to a different conduit.

Flash forward to the year 2020 where Tim (Kyle Allen) and Emily (Ash Santos), the kids picked at random to live in the Outpost, meet at a protest outside a coffee shop. The two hit it off and in a year we see them in a delivery room having their first child. Flash forward three years and their son’s going through the terrible threes and the couple is barely coping. After arriving home from a date, the two find their boy in his room, covered in the babysitter’s blood as she lies on the floor with her throat slashed! Before the young parents can even comprehend that their toddler killed a grown woman, there’s a knock at the door. Tim opens it to find the Black Pope (Carlo Rota) and his two Satanic priests, one of which is Miriam Mead, absolutely thrilled that they’ve found their Antichrist. Like three demented Wisemen, they followed the evil right to Tim and Emily’s door and they’re ready to bring the toddler into the darkness. It seems Mallory was right to worry. You can tamper with timelines and dance with death, but when you’re dealing with Satan’s prophecy, you can’t beat fate. Without evil, the good and righteous are pointless since both are two sides of the same coin. We can only hope that Mallory has already trained her successor because the apocalypse is about to get a reboot!