American Horror Story – Sojourn

By: Kelly Kearney

Is there a better way to celebrate Halloween than with the Antichrist? This week’s episode out did itself with spook-tastic Satanists, black mass killings and robotic tech tycoons; not to mention the back story on Miriam Mead and some keen insight on how it feels to be everyone’s favorite devil boy. It’s not all fun and apocalyptic games for Michael Langdon, the man destined to destroy the world…if only his father left him a “How To” manual.

There is Good in You

Continuing with the flashback that takes place before the end of the world, Michael (Cody Fern) learns that Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) and the witches set fire to Miriam (Kathy Bates) and his other supporters. Obviously, this news does not sit well with the spawn of Satan, but when Cordelia shows up to rub salt in Langdon’s wounds,] she notices that the Antichrist isn’t purely evil. The head witch spots some goodness in him, even if it’s buried deep below his apocalyptic rage. The Supreme offers Michael a place among her Coven and lets him know that he can choose his own fate, rather than act out his father’s evil plans to destroy the world. Of course, after losing the woman who mattered most in the world to him, Michael is not buying anything Cordelia is selling. In fact, he throws her kindness back in her witchy face and promises to kill her and all of humanity after he retrieves Miriam from hell. Unfortunately, for Michael, there’s a catch. Cordelia not only burnt Miriam at the stake, but she cursed her so Michael could never find her. Langdon is not powerful enough to break Cordelia’s spell, so Miriam will stay where she is for eternity and even the son of Satan can’t change that.

After the rude awakening Cordelia gave him, the young Antichrist wanders the woods aimlessly in search of a sign from his father, who seems to have abandoned his son. Michael draws a circle in a pile of leaves and pleads with dear old dad to show him the way. Langdon knows his fate is to destroy the world, but nobody told him how he was supposed to do it and now his father will not answer his calls. In what seems like a hallucination, Michael is visited by visions of a young girl offering him a better way – a black furred goat that he slaughters in anger and a white winged angel that tempts him to give up his evil ways before its too late. In the end, Satan never sends Michael a map to how this apocalyptic end is supposed to play out so he walks out of the woods and ends up in a city alleyway looking for peace, a bite to eat and maybe someone to talk. He finds that and more when he comes upon a door that leads to an underground Satanist church led by the head priestess Hannah (Sandra Bernhard). Looking disheveled in his tattered clothing covered in goat’s blood, a woman in the congregation notices the young man and asks if he’s hungry. Apparently many lost souls find their way to the Satanist church thanks to the Yelp reviews praising the coffee and free donuts. The woman, who we later learn is named Madeline (Harriet Sansom Harris), asks Michael if he would like to come to her place for a home cooked meal and Michael, who is shocked by her generosity, agrees to her offer. All the while, in the background, Hannah the red robed Priestess is holding court by shaming her followers for not being evil enough. To tempt the Antichrist out of his hiding, his followers really need to pump up the evil and make earth so horrible that the devil’s son feels welcome. She goes on a tirade about how the President might be a “douche nozzle” and climate change is terrifyingly at an all-time high, but even those two horrific things are just not enough to usher in the wave of sin that the Antichrist would ride in on.

After a hot meal at Madeline’s and an interesting story about the gifts the Devil grants you when you sell your soul to him; like a high tolerance for heroin and sexual appointments with Ryan Reynolds and Brad Pitt, Michael flashes his new friend his 666 birthmark and she is elated. So much so that she presents Michael to the Satanist church and after they see his mark of the beast, they pledge their allegiance to him by offering up two victims as a sacrifice to their dark lord. Michael happily slits the two people’s throats and afterwards Madeline offers him a way out of his Miriam problem. After all, anything for the Antichrist…as long as he puts a good word in for her with his father. Apparently, Madeline doesn’t want to end up in the good parts of Hell, she wants to burn in the flames of Hell’s most depraved and darkest level and she needs a letter of recommendation from the Antichrist himself. Even though he is confused as to why Madeline has been so good to him, considering apathy has hardened the hearts of most human beings, Michael agrees to talk to daddy for his new friend. If only because her support reminds him of his dearly departed mother figure, Ms. Mead.

Mommy Issues

After a long drive up the coast of California with Madeline, Michael ends up at a robotics lab outside if Silicon Valley. The owners, two tech tycoons ousted from Tesla (Billy Eichner and Evan Peters) with the worst haircuts since Dumb met Dumber, are busy working away while filling their noses with endless amounts of cocaine. Also, at the lab is Ms. Venable (Sarah Paulson), who runs the business (which explains why she was in charged of Outpost 3) alongside the two dorky engineers and she is as harsh as she is beautiful, all decked out in purple and brimming with attitude. Purple, the engineers say, is her favorite and apparently so is sending bags of dog feces to Mark Zuckerberg.

After Venable serves the nerdy duo an urn full of cocaine, which they snort by the ladle full, we learn they also sold their souls to the devil, which really helped their careers. After years of trying to make it big in Silicon Valley, the two men performed a black mass and since then they’ve become billionaire cocaine fueled robotics experts, who date Victoria Secret models and have Thursday rendezvouses with Ryan Reynolds. Obviously, the pinnacle of all tech nerd dreams. So, when Michael shows up looking for a Miriam replacement, the tech dorks can’t believe this flaxen haired man is the spawn of their dear Satan. Michael proves it by showing them his birthmark and then setting their assistant on fire with his mind. The engineers are sold and agree to make Michael, the most realistic Miriam Mommy-Bot Mead, they can muster.

After drawing up blueprints, the engineers want to impress the Antichrist with the most badass version of Miriam Mead they could create. Along with her punk rock hair style and piercing eyes, the two men add a little spice to Michael’s mommy replacement. What better than to make her a Mossad assassin so that she can crush anyone who gets in her beloved boy’s way? When the project is complete, Michael arrives to view their work. Everything looks perfect, but the engineers warn Michael to keep her artificiality a secret. Like a new puppy, Miriam-bot needs to learn who she is by spending time with Michael and if she was to know the truth, she may not handle it well. They admit that in the past, when other bots became sentient, they went on murderous rampages. Considering Miriam-bot is equipped with Mossad killing skills, her awareness could be deadly for anyone who gets in her way, even the Antichrist. Michael nods in agreement, but when the tech nerds hit Miriam-bot’s on switch what happens amazes them all. The robot quickly comes to, sits up and reaches for her master saying, “How I’ve missed you, Michael.”

With Miriam back from the dead…sort of… Michael’s ready to fulfill his father’s wishes. Sure, he may not have the blueprints to the end of times, but he has a version of the woman who truly believed in him. It’s always hard when legions of fans worship you and you have to admit you have no idea what you’re doing, but Michael’s going to give it the old Satanic college try. Anything to kill the witches that took the only person that ever mattered to him. Michael’s issues run deeper than his predetermined fate and if there is a modicum of goodness lurking amongst the sewage that is his soul, he’s ignoring it for the ultimate world ending payback. The Antichrist is ready to fill the shoes his father passed down to him and it’s going to take a lot more than threats from the Coven to stop him. The end is nigh my fellow horror fans and with two episodes left, the evil is about to be kicked up a notch!