Baskets – The Fight

By: Jay Smith

Dale (Zach Galifianakis) awakens on the couch, gets food from the fridge, sits outside for a while, heads into work, looks at a photo of him and Nicole and shreds it. He takes the rest of the day off and we’re now seeing him power walking with weights while listening to Florence + The Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over.” He’s playing tennis wall ball by himself and then goes to Costco and asks around for a selfie stick. With his new selfie stick, Dale records himself dancing on the car while still listening to the song. It’s safe to assume he’s been playing it all day. He goes through the photos he’s taken throughout the day, prints his favorite and places it in the frame where the picture of him and Nicole (Ellen D. Williams) once was. By the end of the night, he gets a lower back tattoo of his new fight song. The next morning Dale is dancing in the family room still listening to “Dog Days” with his selfie stick when Mama Baskets (Louie Anderson) and Chip (Zach Galifianakis) walk in. Mama Baskets asks about her kittens and then they, Ronald Reagan and Will Ferrell, come running when they hear the sound of the cat food can opening. Dale is making juice when he tells Mama Baskets he has decided to make a life change. He quotes Florence to her, but then Chip wants to know what does it mean exactly. Dale suggests the song isn’t for Chip and says it’s political music. Mama Baskets really doesn’t care, but is happy to have both boys back in the house. She wants to plan a family dinner, but the fridge is empty so she has to make a Costco run. She asks which one of the boys are going to go with her, but they both pass. She leaves and Dale is still taking selfies and making juice while Chip is still on the couch. In a snarky tone Dale asks Chip did he find Islam in the “clink.” Without reacting Chip says he’s going to get in the shower and take a nap. Dale makes one more prison joke before Chip finally leaves the room. Mama Baskets is happy to be at Costco’s. She’s at a sampling table of pizza kits and is chatting with the employee (Doreene L. Hamilton). By the end of the conversation she has three kits in her cart.

Chip finally lays down, but is rudely kept awake by Dale blasting “Dog Days.” He tries blocking it out, but is unsuccessful. He yells at Dale to turn it down yet Dale takes the opportunity to tease Chip and call him a baby. He turns the music up and Chip heads back upstairs to try taking a nap again. Before he’s fully sleep Dale blasts the blender. Again Chip tries to ignore the noise, but is unsuccessful. Chip rushes downstairs, throws a tennis ball at Dale and makes him spill his smoothie. Dale is upset about the money that was wasted on the fallen juice, but Chip doesn’t care and tells him to relax before he poos his pants again like he did at a party. Dale attacks Chip and explains it happened two years ago because of a nervous stomach. Dale throws Chip out. Chip knocks on the door but is greeted by a cup of water to the face from Dale and the door closing back on him.

Chip is trying to get back in the house and winds up climbing through the kitchen window over the sink. While getting in Dale comes up behind him and gives him a wedgie. Dale rips the underwear and Chip gets through. When he’s back in the house he smashes Dale’s phone as payback. Dale rushes to get back in the house while Chip runs to the bathroom with the meat tenderizer he used to smash the phone with. Dale yells at Chip about how he’s going to run away again and everyone will care about “the criminal,” but not him the good guy. Chip has a cigarette to wait Dale out.

Back at Costco Mama Baskets is looking for a movie for them to enjoy tonight. Not finding the right film a sale’s associate, Chris (Dwayne Colbert), suggests a game. They both make a joke about playing the game of life when he suggests “Life” as a game choice. She tells Chris one son is competitive and the other is creative. With the new information they finally settle on “Cranium.” Chip finishes his cigarette and Dale is still right outside the door. He pushes Chip’s motorcycle tire under the door to show that he destroyed that and also tells him he put his feet on and farted on everything Chip owns. Dale says he’s going to go take a nap. Chip opens the door and sees Dale hasn’t gone to take a nap, but has put on his performance costume. This sets Chip over the edge and he tackles Dale. They’re fighting in the backyard when the neighbor, Mr. Adams (Gary Ballard), is nosey and asks if everything is okay. He asks if Mama Baskets was home because he noticed her sprinklers were going off in the middle of the day during a drought. Dale is annoyed by him and while having Chip in a chokehold he yells at Mr. Adams and insinuates inappropriate things about him. Chip and Dale hit each other one more time outside and both run back into the house.

Mama Baskets is checking out, but her card gets declined. She gets out of line and calls her bank. The bank teller tells her the account is on hold because of suspicious activity, the $10,000 bail. She explains it was her and now has to wait for the hold to be taken off. She travels to the insurance office of Costco and sees Martha (Martha Kelly) at work. Martha is happy to see Mama Baskets. She tells her about the credit card issue and then invites Martha to lunch since it’s a beautiful day and no one would mind. In the house the boys are running around the table. Dale tells Chip he ruined his chance with Martha. They stop for a little to drink more energy shots. Dale lies and says he’s slept with Penelope too, but Chip knew it was a lie since he never slept with her. Chip lies to Dale and says he slept with Nicole and Dale believes him. Dale attacks Chip for joking like that while he runs to the bathroom to hide again. Chip is clinging to the toilet while Dale is grabbing him on him and they break it.

At lunch, Mama Baskets tells Martha about her vibe with Ken at the Reagan Library. Martha gives her faulty dating advice on what Ken’s moves meant and Mama Baskets is thankful for her explaining it. Mama Baskets wants Martha to over to the house more, but she’s apprehensive and thinks Chip is made at her. Now it’s Mama Baskets turn to give Martha bad advice and says when a boy is mean to her it means he likes her. Martha doesn’t think there’s anything more than friendship with Chip. The bathroom is flooding and Dale is flipping out. Chip calls someone to come help with the toilet and Dale is destroying pictures of himself and calling himself an idiot. Chip tries to calm him down, but he throws something at Chip, misses and breaks the sliding door to the backyard. He finally sits and cries about how he ruined his family just like their dad ruined theirs. Reagan leaves the house and the boys go after him.

They’re out searching for the cat and Dale tells Chip that Mama Baskets is going to be mad like their father when she gets back. Chip wants to talk about their dad more, but Dale is against it. Mama Baskets finally gets the notification that she can use her card again and Martha thanks her for the lunch. Martha tells her she likes spending time with her because she always has something to say. Mama Baskets admits to liking Martha more than Penelope and says she’s the complete package and no one should tell her different. The boys stop at the bridge and Dale reiterates the story they’ve been told that their father just fell off the bridge while admiring the river. Chip owns up to believing the story and Dale tells him he’s dumber than he looks. Chip tells Dale it’s okay for him to be angry sending Dale into another tantrum before breaking down for the second time today. In so many words Dale wants Chip to grow up and be more careful because he’s his only brother outside of the other twins. They see Reagan running to the bridge and they try to get him before he falls. Chip gets an idea and grabs a new can of tennis balls. He opens the can and the cat runs to him like he did earlier that morning when Mama Baskets opened the can of cat food. The boys congratulate each other in their victory and head home. Mama Baskets finally gets home, sees the mess they’ve made and drops everything she’s bought from Costco.