Best Ex – With a Smile

By starrymag | October 6, 2023

By: Lisa Steinberg

 

 

Q) How would you describe your sound?

A) Thanks so much for this interview! I think my sound is very influenced by early 2000s indie pop/indie rock. I grew up idolizing Saddle Creek Records and you can definitely hear it on my album, but I try to put a modern twist on it, adding major pop influences and buzzy synths. I’m always a sucker for sparkly acoustics, too!

Above all, storytelling is the most important to me. I can have a punk-leaning song or a folksy ballad, but the words will always be the string that ties it together.

Q) Who are some of your musical influences?

A) Like I said before, I really adore early 00s indie pop/rock. Things like Bright Eyes, Death Cab for Cutie and Rilo Kiley have really influenced my sound and my storytelling. As far as new acts go, I have found great inspiration in the powerful but feminine storytelling of acts like Maisie Peters and Olivia Rodrigo. I know it’s cliche to say it at this point, but I’m very much into Taylor Swift. I love her storytelling and I love how she just makes whatever kind of music she wants but it always sounds like her.

Q) Talk about the story behind your new song “Die for You.”

A) I wanted to do a collab on this album with another woman, and there was really no one I wanted to work with more than my bestie, Luxtides. We both came up in the music industry at the same time, touring in the same circuits and witnessed the same kind of misogyny.

It’s gotten a lot better in recent years. People are more aware of inequalities and sexism, but we were very used to being the only women in the room, with our careers at the mercy of the men around us (and their ever-shifting moods). I can’t speak for her, but I have tolerated everything from sexist comments and groping to threats for not being nice enough or accepting of inappropriate behavior and sexual harassment. It often felt like my success was bought with my silence, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again.

Q) What do you think it is about the song that fans connect to?

A) I think most women have been in a situation where they felt like they had to accept poor or inappropriate behavior from men to succeed. It’s common in all male-dominated industries. Beyond that, I think every woman in society feels the pressure and double standards of patriarchy. We are too emotional but must be sensitive to the emotions of everyone else. We’re too fat but not curvy in the right way. We’re too old but not old enough to be taken seriously.

Q) What is your song writing process? Do you need music before you can create lyrics?

A) My songwriting process is pretty random. I either have a lyrical idea I hold onto and try to match with a melody later on or go take a walk or ride my bike and hope a melody hits me first.

I do a lot of writing for other artists, too. With that, it’s much more controlled. I often start with a piece of track, a line they’ve written or an lyrical idea and general vibe they hope to achieve.

Q) How much of a hand do you have in the production of your music?

A) So much! I producedWith A Smile side by side with Andy [Tongren, Young Rising Sons]. Sometimes he’d have an idea for how the song should sound. Sometimes I could already hear the entire song in my head. We really made the whole thing as a team and true collaborators.

Q) Your album With a Smile comes out on Oct. 6th.What are some themes you explore on it?

A) Most of the themes have to deal with the pressures of womanhood — whether it’s love, loss, mental illness, or the pressures of society. It’s a concept album of sorts about the way the world expects women to smile, and what we’re really hiding underneath.

Q) Which track(s) hold a special significance for you and what makes them so close to your heart?

A) I think “Stay with Me” is the song closest to my heart. When I wrote it, I was entering a serious relationship that felt so different from all the others I had been in. He’s such a well-adjusted person with a grounded outlook on life. I’m someone who’s struggled with anxiety, exacerbated by relationships that ranged from unaffectionate to abusive. I felt so much that many of my previous partners just tolerated me, and I very much doubted someone would want to deal with my anxiety, which was later diagnosed as OCD *and* anxiety, long term. There’s always the fear that if you have a mental illness that it will be too much of a burden on the people you love and they’ll leave, but he didn’t.

Q) Was there a particular song that challenged you the most creatively for this album?

A) I think “The End” was a challenge because I wanted to create something that started as a quiet folk and shifted into a driving rock track. I think I achieved what I hoped for…but it was over four minutes long. That in itself is challenging in a world where people’s attentions spans (including my own) rarely focus for longer than a fifteen second TikTok.

Q) Which song(s) are you looking forward to performing live from With a Smile?

A) “The End” is my favorite to play, hands down. I just love when all the gang vocals kick in at the bridge and I get to be super loud with my guitar. I also really love playing “Stay with Me.” We so that one totally stripped down, just me and a guitar. I think it’s really powerful to play it that way live.

Q) Since the album is released on Oct. 6th, how do you plan to celebrate?

A) Well, right now I’m enjoying a trip through Europe before things start kicking off. We have some shows planned for Winter, and I can’t wait to get out there when people know the album!

Q) Who would you most like to collaborate with on a song in the future?

A) I think my favorite thing is always just collaborating with my friends. Of course, a dream collab would be John K Samson of The Weakerthans. I’d love to just get in a room and write a song with him.

Q) What artist/musician are you currently listening to and why do you dig them? 

A) I’ve been really listening a lot to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album Guts. I think back when I started a punk band, this is what I would’ve wanted it to sound like. It’s like the best parts of 90s female punk bands with modern pop mixed in.

Q) What would you like to say to everyone who is a fan and supporter of you and your work?

A) I just am so grateful that so many people are still around. This may be my first full length solo album, but it’s not my first time around the block. I’ve been trying for years and people keep giving me chances. So, thank you y’all for still being here!