Call Me Kat – Call Me Philliam

By: Sammi Turano

A customer asks for muffins and Kat (Mayim Bialik) tells her that Phil is out of town. Randi (Kyla Pratt) tries to make a sale, but Sheila (Swoosie Kurtz) sends her to the Starbucks on the corner.

After the customer leaves Randi receives pictures from Phil and Jalen’s travels. As they look them over, Phil’s mom (Vicki Lawrence) shows up to take over his duties. She soon brings them muffins, which Max (Cheyenne Jackson)and Carter (Julian Gant) eat with great fanfare. She says they are all too skinny, except for Kat.  Kat says the muffins are better than sex….and she has sex with Max.

They all get to know Mama, who says she is glad to help when her “Philliam” is away. She says that is his given name. It was supposed to be William, but his dad was too drunk when filling out the birth certificate.

Mama has another job for everyone, to take care of the cows. Max and Carter take this on, while the ladies work at the cafe. Mama keeps yelling at everyone, which upsets Kat and Randi. They think she will be gone soon, but come up with a plan to burn down the place and collect the insurance money just in case. However, they are in for a surprise…..Mama is there to stay and is bunking with Kat!

The next morning Kat is on the couch in the because the rooster and Mama (dreaming of Ronald Reagan) were keeping her awake. Mama comes in from the kitchen and yells at them for being lazy. She keeps picking at them, which causes Kat to go upstairs and hide and Randi to stay to pick up the pieces.

Phil and Carter are back at the barn to take over the cows. They talk about Phil….only to be interrupted by one of the cows giving birth, which causes them to freak out.

Sheila and Mama continue to bond over the food and motherhood. Randi comes in to say there is a squirrel in a pan, causing her and Kat to decide that it is time for Mama to go. They try to talk to her about this, but no avail. Sheila offers to get rid of her because she enjoys firing people. She goes to talk to Mama, with Randi and Kat watching. However, Mama has a bombshell for them…..Phil and Jalen are getting married and opening a bakery in Tahiti.

Everyone is shocked and sad about this news, but reflect on how much they are going to miss him. Mama tells everyone that Phil loved them all and talked about them so much that she feels that they are her family. Kat says she feels the same and Phil always said that family isn’t who you are born to, it is who will lie to the cops for you.

Carter and Max are on the phone trying to get help to deliver the baby cow. They realize they have to go in and pull it out themselves. It is a success and and they decide to name him after Phil.

Two weeks later the gang is reflecting on the wedding and gather around to watch the wedding video and reflect on how much they are going to miss Phil.

Darren (Jay Linzy) then takes Mama’s hand as Leslie Jordan’s chair is brought on stage by John Griffin one last time, along with his beloved sequin jacket.

Mayim (who is wearing Leslie’s shoes) then gives a special tribute to Leslie Jordan as Dolly Parton sings the song she sang with Leslie. We then get one final Leslie/Phil montage as the episode comes to a close.