Call Me Kat – Salsa

By: Sammi Turano

The episode opens with Sheila (Swoosie Kurtz) and Randi (Kyla Pratt) talking on the couch while Phil (Leslie Jordan) judges a jumping contest between Max (Cheyenne Jackson) and Oscar (Christopher Rivas). He quips that he shouldn’t be judging or driving because his eyesight is bad.

Oscar goes over to talk to Kat (Mayim Bialik), who is decked out in Louisville sports gear and offers him home poured salsa. He asks her if she wants to go salsa dancing and she says yes, claiming that she is a great salsa dancer.

He is happy and said he used to go with his ex all the time…then immediately regrets bringing her up. She says they all have a past and that she ain’t afraid of no ghost. Oscar notes she isn’t dead and she wonders why she made that comment.

Sheila comes up to her and says she can polka dance, not salsa dance. She then remembers this and asks Max to help her out by going to a dance class. He asks her why she doesn’t ask Oscar and she says he thinks she can dance. He then tells her he used to salsa dance with Brigitte (Schuyler Helford), who tells her (in Kat’s mind) that the two of them electrified the dance floor. Kat keeps begging and finally wears Max down.

At the café Randi is chugging coffee due to not being able to sleep. Phil tells her to be careful and she tells him that nothing is helping her sleep. She even tried counting sheep, but she kept seeing Daniel’s face, which upsets her. Phil offers to give her one of her mom’s sleeping pills and tells her to be careful because the one time he took it on a flight he peed in the middle of an aisle and had to be strapped down for the rest of the flight.

Kat comes in to show Randi the new dress she got for her dancing date. Randi says it is hot, but not like an Ironman suit….it won’t help her become a dancer. Kat then tells her about her plan to have Max teach her how to dance, but Randi warns her that it is not a good idea because she was in love with him for two decades. Kat says it is fine because she is falling for Oscar and every other guy is a sexless bleh in a baseball cap. She then sees a guy in a baseball cap in the café with his girlfriend and tells them she was not referring to him.

Phil then screams that the roll he was putting in a box looks like the Holy Mother. Kat and Randi come over to check it out and Kat says it looks like Dolly Parton. He says that is who he meant and begins to freak out.

Kat and Max begin their lesson, but he scolds her for not being serious. However, at the lesson she gets turned on and she ends up sleeping with Oscar, who wonders why she is so turned on.

That night Randi is out for a run when Carter (Julian Gant) runs into her, saying he can tell she has ex-sonmia. She tries to argue about it, but he tells her to come into the bar so they can talk.

Later on Oscar leaves Kat’s place, talking about how sore he is from the night before. He promises her that he won’t be able to stop smiling or thinking about it and kisses her goodbye.

After he leaves Sheila comes in to tell Phil she knows Dolly’s publicist and they want them to get down to Nashville to get a picture with her and the roll. They rush off in excitement.

Kat asks Randi for advice on the night before. Randi says she heard everything with her and Oscar since they are roommates. She then sprays Kat in the face and says I told you so.

Later on Kat goes to talk to Max and they agree to cancel the lesson. She feels like it was cheating on Oscar, while he thinks it was a bit too weird. He then admits he and Brigitte are trying to work things out and he is going to surprise her in Paris.

Phil and Sheila head over to the concert, only to get stuck in traffic.

Randi prepares to go for a run to help her relax. Kat worries about her running, but she says she will be fine. Kat also says she cannot sleep due to watching so many salsa fail videos. So, she takes one of Phil’s mom’s sleeping pills. This leads to her having a very interesting interaction with Brigitte.

Phil and Sheila are still stuck in traffic and worry they may not make it to the concert. Sheila is hungry and wants to eat the roll, but Phil says that he will slice her like a honey baked ham if she touches it. He then takes back his offer to share an antacid with her.

Randi and Carter are at the bar playing games on the computer. They talk about relationships and friends with benefits and are about to kiss when Kat comes in loopy off the sleeping pill, taking root beer and wine. Randi makes sure she gets home okay while Carter is disappointed she is gone.

The next morning Randi fills Kat in on what happened the night before, which includes her bringing all the cats upstairs. Kat mumbles something about braiding Brigitte’s hair, but otherwise remembers nothing. She then cuddles with one of the cats and goes to sleep.

Phil and Sheila are still stuck in traffic when they decide to eat the roll…..only to find out Dolly will be there for another night. Phil makes her spit it out and put it back together.

Randi and Carter flirt at the cafe when Kat comes downstairs, ready for her date. As she dances around Max comes in, angry that she emailed Brigitte and ruined their relationship while on the pills. Kat tries to apologize, but Max tells her to stay out of his business. As he storms off, Randi apologizes about the pills and realizes she should have told her about how Phil reacted on them.

Kat is upset and says she never saw Max this angry. Oscar comes in and asks her if she is ready to go. She says “uno momento” and the show ends with everyone dancing and saying goodbye.