Central Park – Episode One

By: Paige Zinaman

Birdie (Josh Gad) walks and sings while playing his ukulele introducing the audience to “Central Park.” Throughout this song the show sets up what exactly is about to happen. Birdie soon takes the audience to a “castle” and introduces everybody to Cole (Tituss Burgess) who is an animal lover, his sister Molly (Kristen Bell) that likes to draw comic books, their mom Paige (Kathryn Hahn) who is a journalist and their dad Owen (Leslie Odom Jr.) who is the park manager that wears short shorts so everybody knows he’s in charge.

Owen is trying to get his family excited about the blooming of the Turtlehead flowers, a celebration that the park holds every year. And while he’s excited it is proving to be much harder to get his wife and kids in on the excitement. As Owen continues to think positively the camera then goes to Birdie who is still outside their kitchen window saying that it probably won’t be a success and that last year wasn’t great either. Birdie explains that New Yorkers just don’t get excited over flowers blooming like they used to and she blames it “on the fact there’s any other thing to do.” Paige suddenly hops up having to leave because she has a big discussion with her Editor about possibly covering actual news as she can’t keep doing “fluffy fluff.” When Owen stands talking about how it’ll just be him and the kids, Molly shoots up claiming she has to go. It becomes very awkward as she fumbles and stutters over her words trying to avoid telling her mom and dad about the boy she likes who she has been making a comic book about. Once Molly is gone Owen notices his plate that is missing sausage that he had placed on there. From outside Birdie warns that the sausage will come up later and to remember it.

Owen gets a call from Elwood (Rory O’Malley) over the walkie informing him that Bitsy Brandenham’s (Stanley Tucci) dog Shampagne is lost in the park and that she’s going to have a press conference soon. Owen tells Elwood he’ll meet him soon. After hearing what happened Paige gets excited over the possible news story that she can write that would help her case when she goes to speak to her Editor with this story in hand. Birdie tells you that Bitsy is the heiress to a fortune who is like the Queen of Hearts, meaning she loves an execution. Soon she is telling everyone that she’s “Billin’ as our Villain though that isn’t quite yet known except by you guys.”

At the Brandenham Hotel Bitsy is looking through a telescope to Central Park hoping to find Shampagne while saying that she misses everything about him. Helen (Daveed Diggs) shows up asking Bitsy if she’s distraught. When it is confirmed she tells Bitsy that she has something for her and hands her a jar of cream made from whale anus. Bitsy asks Helen quietly if it’s legal and when Helen mentions that it’s possibly illegal Bitsy jumps at the chance to have it. Bitsy soon goes back to missing Shampagne and asks Helen how this could happen and cursing the dog walker. Bitsy mentions that if Shampagne were there with her, they’d be making fun of Helen so hard starting from the shoes and going up. Back in Central Park Owen is walking through and runs into Birdie who then takes a break so he can walk with Owen as he talks about the Turtleheads. Owen asks Birdie if his job is stupid and wonders if he’d be more useful if he worked in a sock factory. This conversation soon branches off into a song about what it would be like if someone could just own who they are and embrace something they truly care about. Across the street Paige is having a similar moment about owning her journalistic endeavors and showing everyone who doubts her how she’s owning who she is. As Bitsy makes the award known everyone listening soon bombards Central Park. This song shows everyone’s point of view and wanting to own their lives but also shows that Cole is hiding something very important from everyone.

Everyone soon starts to go through the Turtleheads just to find Shampagne but destroying everything in the process. Owen leaves Elwood in charge as he goes to find out what’s happening. He gets a call from Paige who informs him about what happened and when she asks if her can believe it, he looks around at the park and says that its people going nuts. Paige rushes over there so she can get the story. Meanwhile, Cole is still in the shed with Shampagne watching as people start getting closer to where they are hiding. He then starts to talk to him telling Shampagne that they found each other and no one will separate them. He then feeds Shampagne another sausage that he had swiped from his dad’s breakfast that morning. Cole gets Shampagne back into his backpack as he comes out of the shed and runs straight into his father. Owen tells Cole that he’s looking for the lost dog and requests him to come with him so they can have an extra pair of eyes. Meanwhile, Molly watches this boy that she likes that is flying a kite and draws out the comic story. The boy, Brendon (Eugene Cordero), comes over to her and lets her know that he’ll probably see her around since he’s seen her in the same spot each time.

Cole and Owen are still looking for Shampagne as Cole tries everything he can think of to get Owen to just go home. It is that moment Champagne starts to bark and pops up out of Owen’s backpack. Owen, who seems quite shocked, then panics asking Cole a thousand questions at once – mostly why he has the dog to begin with. Cole wonders what time it is and once it’s given to him Cole tells his father that he’s had Shampagne since yesterday. This really throws Owen off and tells Cole they need to return the dog as soon as possible so people quit tearing up his park. Cole asks Owen for a side bar and starts to share about when he found the dog and that he was covered in perfume. Their conversation takes place through a song with Cole pleading with Owen to let him keep Shampagne and how he’ll take care of him and everything that goes along with having a dog.

Paige stumbles upon them as Owen and Cole’s conversation begins to end when she discovers that it was Cole who “kidnapped” the dog and that being her article. Cole urges both his parents to think about him “rescuing” the dog would be better in the situation they’re currently in. Paige explains that she can’t write any of what’s happened when Owen tells both Paige and Cole that they are going to say they found him and that they are going to return the dog without making mention of when. Owen tells them that they are going to be liar-liars and that Cole is in huge trouble. Paige suddenly drops down in front of Cole to see Shampagne telling Cole she gets it and that they should keep him until she finally snaps out of it. She says that she is absolutely kidding and they need to return him.

Owen and Cole arrive to the Brandenham Hotel with the pup in hand as they ride the elevator up to meet Bitsy and Helen. Bitsy and Helen meet them once they step off and Shampagne is once again with Bitsy who goes on about how he needs all sorts of things while asking Owen if he wants the reward. Owen tells her that he’s the park manager and he’s just doing his job and doesn’t want the money. Cole hands Shampagne off to Bitsy who mentions that he smells weird, asking Cole what he did to him. Cole tells her that he sprayed him off with a hose which is when Bitsy once again brandishes a bottle of perfume and sprays Shampagne with it. Cole tells Bitsy that dogs don’t like to be sprayed with perfume and hands her the flip-flop that Shampagne loves now. This angers Bitsy and Owen makes the comment that it’s time for them to leave. However, he is not able to find the elevator button, which winds up being super tiny. They leave with Owen asking Bitsy to call off the search. As they head home Cole tells Owen that his heart is broken since they returned Shampagne and when they get home Paige and Owen try to console Cole. Molly comes in and offers her dad one lasting Turtlehead flower. Paige shows them the story that she gave to her Editor about the Turtleheads being destroyed, which is what was printed. Bitsy watches Central Park from the balcony as she tells Shampagne that she hates it and that they are going to do the biggest real estate  deal in the history of the world.