Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Who Is the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating

By: Stacy Miller

As the episode opens, Paula (Donna Lynne Champlin) is reorganizing her desk. She pins up a card that says “Trust Me, I’m a Lawyer (almost).” Darryl (Pete Gardner) greets Paula and she tells him that she is rebranding her desk to reflect her new interests. Rebecca (Rachel Bloom) arrives and makes a point of not talking to Paula. Rebecca later tells Paula that she knows that Paula wants her to apologize first. If anyone should apologize first it should be Paula since she was the one who came to her party and insulted everyone. Paula says she knows they are in a bad place right now, but she can’t focus on that because she has a big paper due. Rebecca admits that they have to find a way to make this better. Paula agrees, but adds “I just don’t know how.”

Paula is studying when her husband Scott (Steve Monroe) reminds her that the quartet he’s singing with is performing on Friday. He also tries to be interested when Paula talks about the Supreme Court case she’s reading from 1880 for class.

Josh gives his new girlfriend Anna (Brittany Snow) a cat collar for her cat. Meanwhile, Rebecca and Valencia (Gabrielle Ruiz) are cyberstalking Josh’s internet feed, but don’t want each other or Heather (Vella Lovell) to know what they’re doing. They see images of his new girlfriend Anna and exclaim in unison “Oh my God, Josh has a girlfriend!” Valencia recognizes Anna as the woman who does all the famous people’s eyebrows at her shop. Rebecca and Valencia read about Anna Hicks a/k/a AnnaTheBrowBarian, who Rebecca comments “sounds like the romantic lead in an Adam Sadler movie.” Rebecca and Valencia’s curiosity about Anna Hicks causes them to research her leading to Anna singing the song “Research Me Obsessively,” which is a seductive take on using social media to find out about a person.

At work, Scott is practicing his song for the quartet. Rebecca and Valencia begin their stalking of Anna. They overhear Anna talking on her cell phone about “cutting women off because some get addicted” and immediately assume that she is a drug dealer. Rebecca and Valencia decide that they have to tell Josh because he won’t be able to figure it out himself. Unfortunately, while on their way, Rebecca pulls out and ends up hitting poor Gravy (Anna’s cat) with her car! “Who hit my cat?!” an upset Anna asks when she comes out of her shop. Rebecca and Valencia lie that a pirate Jack Sparrow impersonator hit Anna’s cat. Rebecca offers to drive Anna and Gravy to the hospital. At the hospital, Rebecca and Valencia (They tell Anna their names are Madge and Allegra) help Anna fill out the hospital’s paperwork. A sneaky Rebecca pretends that the hospital needs to know personal information about Anna such as her age, weight, whether she’s committed any felonies or if she has a boyfriend. If I were Anna, I’d be suspicious. What animal hospital needs to know these kinds of personal details about you in order to treat your pet? Thank goodness, Gravy’s tail was reattached and he’s going to be okay. Rebecca a/k/a Madge continues to ask Anna about her boyfriend. Anna talks about Josh and Rebecca and Valencia get annoyed when Anna mentions about Josh’s weird exes – one who pressured him into getting married and the other who moved across the country to be with him even when she hadn’t seen him for over ten years. This certifiable one even told Josh she was pregnant and a short while later said she wasn’t and wanted to have period sex. Rebecca sings a reprise of “Period Sex.” Later, Valencia uses the keys she stole from Anna’s purse to open the door of Anna’s shop because they need to get their hands on that video footage that shows they hit Gravy.

Scott’s quartet member Hank (Andrew Arrow) gives him tips on how to not be nervous when singing. Hank comments that he hasn’t seen Paula with the wives. Scott says that Paula will be there. Meanwhile, Paula is studying with Sunil (Pravesh Cheena). She asks Sunil what time is it and realizes that she’s late for Scott’s show, but tries to assure herself “I can make it.” As the quartet sing “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” Paula rushes in but unfortunately arrives at the end of the encore. Scott is hurt.

Rebecca erases the footage of them hitting the cat. But since she and Valencia are there, they might as well see if they can find footage of Anna’s drug activities. They realize that Anna isn’t doing drugs, but showing clients her products.

Paula apologizes to Scott for missing his performance. Scott reminds how supportive he’s been of her going to law school, but he feels left out. Paula wants Scott to know how sorry she is. “This is all my fault,” Paula says. “I don’t care whose fault it is, I just feel badly right not,” Scott adds. Poor Scott.

Looking at more of the security footage, Rebecca and Valencia see a conversation between Anna and Josh. And because Rebecca can read lips, she is able to determine that Josh is telling Anna that he’s never, ever felt about anyone the way he feels about her. Poor Rebecca and Valencia. They sadly tell Heather what they found out. “You were right; I guess we shouldn’t have gone down the rabbit hole. The only thing down there is regret filled with rabbit poop.” After Heather leaves, Valencia decides that since Josh is obviously over them she needs to get laid (turning down Rebecca’s girl bonding binge watching “Friday Night Lights”).

Meanwhile, after Scott leaves the house to get a drink with Hank and cool off, Paula calls Sunil. Sadly, he is busy. This leads to the 80s style song “You Go First” in which Paula and Rebecca sing about how much they both want to apologize, but want the other to make the first move.