Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Why Is Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend Eating Carbs?

By: Stacy Miller

10,000 Years B.C (or like, around that time) as the episode opens, we see Rebecca (Rachel Bloom) and Valencia (Gabrielle Ruiz) as cave women. Primal Rebecca offers to pick lice out of Primal Valencia’s hair as a way of female bonding. This Flintstones moment is brought to you by the mind of Rebecca Bunch. Rebecca tells Heather (Vella Lovell) that the book she has been reading talks about how women need to bond in order to help settle their differences. Rebecca thinks if she and Valencia bond it will help both of them get over what happened with Josh (Vincent Rodriguez III). Now, Rebecca has to give Heather money as she agreed to give Heather five dollars every time Rebecca mentions Josh’s name. It looks like Heather will be able to put her kids through college with all the ‘”Josh money” she’s been getting from Rebecca!

Paula (Donna Lynne Champlin) is in her law school class and Rebecca is there before it begins talking about her bonding strategy with Valencia. Paula reminds that one ex doesn’t want to bond with the other over the guy that broke both of their hearts. After Rebecca leaves, Paula starts talking with classmate Sunil (Parvesh Cheena). They are very comfortable with each other. It seems that Paula has found a person to bond with at school.

Rebecca comes to see Valencia an effort to begin their female bonding. She’s proud that Valencia is eating carbs and that is by no means to say that she thinks Valencia is fat.

Meanwhile, Josh is at work at Ahola Tech System dealing with his newly single life in his own way. He tries to convince himself that he doesn’t mind being alone. He is alone with thoughts which leads to a rendition of “Thought Bubbles,” in which Josh’s thoughts touch on the uncertainty he feels in his life and future.

At Whitefeather and Associates, Darryl (Pete Gardner) gives White Josh (David Hull) a present which he can use when they go to Electric Mesa, a cool place in the desert that is very primal. Darryl just said the magic words that pique Rebecca’s interest. Electric Mesa is the perfect place for her female bonding with Valencia. So, Rebecca comes back to Valenica’s apartment to drag her to Electric Mesa.

At Electric Mesa, Darryl notices that he’s older than most of the people there. “I feel like the weird uncle,” Darryl comments to White Josh. He feels a little better to see an older guy Karl, who White Josh seems to know.

Meanwhile back at the law school, Paula notices a male student that has a computer system that seems to take speed notes. When she asks him whether the app can be purchased on iTunes, he replies back “None of your business, bitch.” Paula is shocked. “And I thought my son was rude,” she says.

Valencia tries to relax with yoga, but Rebecca is talking about how should doesn’t know why Josh couldn’t see what amazing women they are. And Darryl is surprised to learn that Karl and White Josh dated. The sound system at Electric Mesa blows out and guess who is asked to go over and help repair it? Josh of Ahola Tech System.

Paula is still angry about the rude student. Sunil tells Paula that they deserve that rude student’s rocket note taking program then asks her whether she has caper clothes. It looks like Paula has a new partner in crime. Rebecca and Valencia have water laced with a hallucinogen called Triceratops. “Did we just drink drugs? Oh no,” says Rebecca. “I’m a ballerina. What a beautiful drug trip,” says Valencia. They each have ballet theme hallucinations involving Josh. For Valencia, it’s like something out of “Swan Lake” while for Rebecca in keeping with her primal fascination of the episode, she and Josh perform the “Triceratops Ballet” with she as the endangered species. After the ballet hallucinations, Valencia exclaims “I am so sad about Josh” while Rebecca adds “I want to kill him.” Valencia experiences a surge of sadness. It’s obvious that breaking of Josh really hurt her and messed with her self-esteem. The always confident Valencia cries about her worth as Josh left her emotionally long before he did physically. “I never want to see Josh again,” Valencia says. Too late, Josh has arrived to fix the stereo equipment.

Darryl has not been having the fun that he thought he would at Electric Mesa with White Josh, who reveals he dated four out of the five older men he greeted. Darryl says Josh has a fetish for older men, all his ex-boyfriends could have been in Cocoon!

Rebecca encourages Valencia not to let Josh continue to get away with using them and then hurting him. She comes up with the perfect payback. “Let’s pee on his stuff. He marked us as territory now we are going to mark him right back.” They are pleased with themselves, especially since Josh will never know. But Josh enters and realizes what they did. Rebecca and Valencia don’t apologize. Instead, they tell Josh what an idiot he was for letting two dynamic women like them go.

Rebecca catches up with Darryl, who tells her about White Josh’s older man fetish. Rebecca assures Darryl that White Josh cares about him and he should just talk to him. Darryl tells White Josh that when he saw all those old men he had been with that his insecurities came out. White Josh admits he has his own insecurities. He was worried that Darryl was having some kind of mid-life crisis and he was nothing more than a boy toy to him. White Josh adds that he doesn’t want someone who is Darryl’s type, he wants Darryl.

Josh meets an attractive blonde (Brittany Snow) who thanks him from fixing the sound system. “I work out,” Josh says. Is Josh working on not being alone?

After leaving Electric Mesa, White Josh meets Darryl’s daughter Madison and both Rebecca and Paula realize that the other has new bitches a/k/a friends to hang out with- Rebecca with Heather and Valencia and Paula with Sunil. Rebecca and Paula look at each other sadly.

Josh has “Thought Bubbles” about the blonde, who sings in them “Call Me.”