By: Mariah Thomas
Following the shooting of Tara Lewis (Aisha Tyler) last episode, the episode ‘Tara’ picks up on the same night. Notably on Criminal Minds, character named episodes are a time for the viewer a deeper look and understanding at that character. The opening scene is Tara waking up in a dream-like state. She is in her bedroom and talking to Rebecca (Nicole Pacent) about a bad dream she had about being shot. When Rebecca doesn’t respond, Tara’s brain catches up with her and she realizes it’s a dream. She begins the different stages of grief with bargaining. She pleads out that she isn’t done yet and isn’t ready to die. She notes how much more she wants to do and is overwhelmed with the idea of dying alone.
Back at the BAU, Rossi (Joe Mantegna) and Prentiss (Paget Brewster) prepare to wrap up their long day. Rossi ponders over the idea that “the disciple” is behind everything knows about Voit’s recovery and methods for it as they try to awaken the killer in him. This suggests this person could be on the medical staff working around him or someone could be speaking out.
Prentiss decides to head to the hospital to talk to Dr. Ochoa (Aimee Garcia). Earlier Prentiss noted Garcia’s (Kirsten Vangsness) mental state due to the last case and was worried about her whereabouts. To no surprise, she finds her in Voit’s (Zach Gilford) hospital room asleep in a chair. Previously, Dr. Ochoa reminded Voit that he needs to start thinking about next steps as he will be headed to prison soon with his time in recovery ending. He notes that Garcia is one of the only people to see the good in him as Prentiss goes to wake her up. As they are heading out, Prentiss gets a call from Rebecca as she updates her on Tara’s shooting. Prentiss is distraught as she and Garcia rush to the hospital they are in. When they arrive, Rebecca emotionally recounts what happened and how they were ambushed. She reveals Evan (Geoff Stults) is okay despite last episode’s implication that he was shot in the head.
As Tara teeters on the ledge of life and death, she is met by an unexpected visitor in her surgery dream. She slowly walks into a lit hospital room to see her mother, Caroline, (LaTanya Richardson Jackson) who died of breast cancer years ago. She is clearly upset seeing her in the state of being in the hospital bed as she notes it was the last time she saw her alive. Her mom tells her she wasn’t going to let her go through this moment alone and asks for her to take them somewhere else in her dream. Tara changes her perception and remembers a more lively image of her mother as they move locations to her bedroom. Caroline judges the simplicity of it and begins to poke at Tara’s commitment issues. Tara jokes that she didn’t get much mother/daughter time when she was alive, but gets a bonus round right before she dies.
In the roundtable room, Luke (Adam Rodriguez), JJ (AJ Cook), Tyler (RJ Hatanaka) and Rossi go over the footage of Tara’s shooting. They are all emotionally distraught as they grapple with their friend and colleague severely hurt. Prentiss enters the room with Garcia exuding her unit chief confidence. She asks the group if they are tired. When no one raises their hand, she scoffs and says “Really?” They’ve been up all day and night, she notes she probably stinks and they could all use a shower. She then goes on to list all the reasons she is tired. Physically, mentally, tired of this new network making a mockery of them, tired of Voit and tired of being polite. Her voice cracks as she tells them she can’t tell them that they’ll “catch the bad guy or that the good guy will make it out of surgery.” She encourages them to acknowledge their collective tiredness too, and then to think of Tara as a reason to push through it.
While Rebecca awaits an update on Tara’s surgery, Evan’s fiance, Michelle (Nazneen Contractor), introduces herself. While she is happy to know Evan will be okay, she still shows concern for Tara. She asks if she can hug Rebecca knowing they are both collectively panicking.
JJ has Voit watch back the footage of Tara’s shooting. He seems upset and notes how nice agent Lewis has always been. Together they slowly watch the strange circumstances surrounding Evan being shot. The shooter hesitates and shoots him in a less fatal place. They begin to wonder if he could have been in on things.
Tara and her mother have a moment of calm in the chaos of this surgery dream world. Caroline tells Tara she became a fixer to avoid grief and there is a lot they need to discuss. Tara is adamant that the way she is made her who she is, so she is okay with it. She confides she is upset with her mother for not telling her about her cancer sooner. To which her mother says she knows she would have left school and needed to look out for her. Tara’s anger toward that situation has been bottled up for years and is finally coming out.
Prentiss meets with Dr. Ochoa and tells her she needs new nursing staff every two weeks. Since the disciple seems to be aware of Voit’s medical progress, they need to be safe. Though she is annoyed with the choice, Dr. Ochoa understands. She also understands when Prentiss has to question her on if she’s talked to anybody. Dr. Ochoa says her oath to her patients is the most important thing to her. Prentiss also questions if she thinks Tyler Green should still work closely with Voit. She opens up and shares that she thinks it may be the best thing for both of them.
Voit and Tyler review the cases of the season together. Voit knows these deaths are all in semi relation to him and feels a sense of guilt. Tyler shows Voit bullet casings from Tara’s shooting. The casings have hearts engraved in them and Voit instantly recognizes the signature. While Garcia is in the hospital with Rebecca she gets a call from Tyler. He confesses he thought he could do a quick search without her help, but was wrong. She teases him for thinking he could hack into her computer. On her laptop she is able to do the search he needed.
Tyler presents an idea to the team. He is convinced Evan orchestrated the shooting to set up Voit’s network. He points out Evan requested to work at Quantico, where Rebecca is, and how it is convenient Tara was shot and not Rebecca. The alleged shooter was originally put behind bars by Evan as a D.A. The team is adamant they are coincidences but Tyler has the evidence to back up this theory leaving them no choice but to pursue it. Evan is able to be released and reunite with Rebecca and Michelle. Evan apologies to Rebecca and checks in about Tara. He tells Rebecca whatever happens next, they will get through it together.
Tara and her mother watch over her surgery and her mother questions how it makes her feel. She points out once again that Tara keeps skipping over anger. They transport to her mother’s hospital room on the last day Tara saw her alive. Tara’s pain begins to unravel. She missed out on having her mother for formative moments. Also, her brother and father became alcoholics in the wake of her death. Tara couldn’t fill the void she left. Back on the surgery table, the surgeons say her blood loss has been contained.
In the waiting room Evan helps Rebecca open up about how she’s feeling. She feels an immense level of guilt for her last words to Tara were a dig about her not being able to open up. Evan tries to encourage her to go home and Rebecca is firm in wanting to stay. JJ and Luke break up the tense moment. After giving hugs to Rebecca, they say they need to take Evan to review photo evidence. In an interrogation room, they show him the evidence they have on the potential shooter. He instantly knows where their minds are at. He is shocked to learn his DNA was on the mask left in Voit’s lawyer’s office. He understands how it looks but remains neutral in saying he did nothing.
In Prentiss’s office, Michelle speaks to her while Evan is integrated. She is shocked to learn about Evan’s DNA and they talk through other possibilities for this happening. When shown a photo of the possible shooter, she instantly recognizes him. She says he had knocked on her door the other day saying there was a nearby gas leak and he needed to check out their home. Since Michelle was in a zoom meeting, she did not monitor him. Prentiss realizes he must have stolen Evan’s clothes to get touch DNA to put on the mask.
When they tried to locate the shooter, he was found dead in his trunk. The disciple staged a scavenger hunt of sorts to distract the BAU due to whatever information Voit’s lawyer found and wanted to share with the BAU. Emily and Penelope go to the hospital to see if Rebecca knows of any connection she may have to Voit. She expresses she feels too overwhelmed and tired to even begin to think. The doctor comes out with an update that Tara is out of surgery and in critical condition. The doctor says it’ll all come down to how strong she is. Rebecca is let into her room to see her hooked up to a machine.
Back in her dream state, Tara is emotional as she reminisces on her mother’s death. She says she pushed down her pain because people stopped asking about it. Loss is a subject people tend to avoid, so she does too. Her mother says she knew her death would impact her but didn’t realize it would close her off from love. Just then, Rebecca’s voice breaks through this dream-like state. She tearfully tells Tara that she will be there for her until the moment she opens her eyes. As she is still unconscious a tear falls down Tara’s face and Rebecca wipes it away.
At the BAU, Voit looks closer at his uncle Cyrus’s case to help figure out the connection to Rebecca and Tara. They point out, his cabin went up in flames but they could only identify one body. That body is the person who connects all three of them. Luke is adamant they looked all through those records but Prentiss says they will look again.
Tara and her mother visit the BAU as they reflect on their time together in this dream world. On the screen, clips of Tara’s life play to symbolize “her life flashing before her eyes”.
They share a beautiful conversation that provides Tara the closure to the pain she’s been holding onto. Her mother encourages her to really live and not always search for perfection. The two hug once more before Tara wakes up. She instantly sees Rebecca by her side and strokes her hand.
Two weeks later, Prentiss meets with Rossi and Evan in her office. She apologizes for their accusations but Evan says he understands and would have done the same thing with the evidence they have. They discuss next steps to locate the connections between Voit, Tara, and Rebecca. As they are, Garcia interrupts and says the couple is on their way up. The team throws Tara a welcome back party as she returns to the BAU for the first time post surgery. They greet her with enthusiasm and Prentiss tells her not to even think about coming back to work yet. Tara instantly tries to ask for updates on the case when Prentiss laughs it off asking, “what did I just say?” There is much love in the room that can be seen as they lightly catch up. Tara soon feigns being “too hot” and Rebecca swoops in saying she probably exerted herself getting out of the car. Tara asks for Rossi to help her up and she says she came in today for an important reason. She goes into how having a near death experience gave her time to do some thinking and she realized what she was missing. She turns to Rebecca and says she needed to do this in front of her found family, the bau. She drops to her knee with the help of Rossi once more and proposes. The team is visibly excited as this happens. There is much celebration and many hugs. The episode closes out as Tara turns to see a figment of her mother watching this moment unfold with a smile on her face. She looks to Rebecca and looks back to her mother’s spot to see she is gone. Rebecca walks up and brings her back into the present moment celebrating with everyone as the episode closes out.