Fleabag – Episode #2.1

By: Ellie Dolan-Yates

371 days, 19 hours & 26 minutes after wreaking havoc at Godmother’s (Olivia Coleman) “Sexhibition” Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) is washing her face of blood in the sink of some very posh looking toilets. There is blood pouring from her nose and romantic music playing in the background. There is a knock on the door followed by an Irish, male voice (Andrew Scott) asking if he can help. Fleabag passes the bloody flannel to a woman on the floor (Maddie Rice) whose nose is also bleeding. Fleabag straightens out her hair, wipes her face with her hand. She then smirks at us “this is a love story”.

Fleabag explains to us how she’s spent the last year or so being good. Squatting, eating healthy, even saying no to sexy arsehole guy (Ben Aldridge)! She explains that she feels so great. She no longer thinks about Boo or the kiss her sleazy brother-in-law (Brett Gelman) planted on her at her sister Claire’s (Sian Clifford) birthday – for which her sister still blames her. However, they’re pretending to get on because, well…her dad is engaged! Yes, he is engaged to the evil godmother. Her dad (Bill Paterson) tries to make a speech, but as usual mumbles his way through, not managing to put a sentence together. Of course, Godmother praises him and, as everyone raises a toast, the Irish guy we heard before toasts to the worst of their days. Fleabag doesn’t know who he is. As wine is offered Claire and her husband explain that they have been “off the sauce” for six months. Questions are asked and they struggle to provide matching answers. Fleabag explains that she hasn’t seen Claire since Claire said she didn’t believe her about the kiss. In a flashback to them meeting before the meal Claire tells Fleabag she looks well and asks where she’s been to which Fleabag replies “Boots. It’s lovely there this time of year.” Chit-chat ensues at the table and we find out that the Irishman is, in fact, the priest for the wedding. A priest that swears. A lot. A needy waitress hovers around offering wine. After Fleabag orders a Tequila and Claire and her husband order sparkling water with a dash of lime, evil godmother declare,s “The most fascinating thing about Father here is that his mother was originally a lesbi–!” Cut to Fleabag smoking outside.

Back at the table, Godmother tells Claire she looks tired and it transpires that Claire is commuting from Finland! As Godmother tries to tempt them into having some wine, Claire and her husband refuse which prompts the priest to ask if there’s a reason they’re not drinking. Claire explains her husband is an alcoholic and that she doesn’t like the taste, but her husband blurts out that they’re trying for a baby. Cue death-stare from Fleabag. As Godmother tells Claire they didn’t think she could have babies, Fleabag looks at us to say, “What. The. Hell?” As Claire is being congratulated, Fleabag tells us something is up. Claire is telling the family that Finland is “cold, beautiful and dark” when Fleabag says to us that she thinks her sister might be happy. Claire continues her compliments to Finland, but is interrupted by Godmother. Her and Dad begin to talk about their time in Japan and to Fleabag’s disgust tell The Priest about Godmother’s “Sexhibition.” As Fleabag tells us no-one has asked her a question in forty-five minutes, The Priest asks her what she does. This shocks her and puts all eyes on her. She explains that she runs a café and that it is actually going well. She has to say it again to convince everybody. Fleabag is back outside having another cigarette when The Priest joins her. As he asks whether her family get together much she walks off. He replies, “F**k you then!” and with that, Fleabag takes to him. She smiles at him and he laughs.

Claire tells her husband to wait until The Priest gets back to eat. This results in an awkward silence around the table. Fleabag looks at us for help. She is saved though when Godmother declares, “He is such a lovely man,” to which they all talk over each other to agree. The Priest rejoins them and as conversation flows he explains that he didn’t always want to be a part of the church and that he came to the profession quite late. Claire moans about her sauce being disgusting, but (as us Brits do) tells the needy waitress that it is delicious. The Priest explains that this wedding will be his first ever wedding! He explains that it’s not usual to be out having dinner with the people that he will be marrying, but he appreciates it as he is new to the parish and very lonely. Fleabag and The Priest exchange looks and it seems as though Godmother is on to them. Godmother explains that they met The Priest through Claire’s creepy stepson who plays the flute…No, sorry, bassoon in the church band. Godmother tells everyone that she will be gifting Dad a portrait of Fleabag and Claire as a wedding present. Claire asks if she can use photos rather than them sitting together. Godmother says she can’t as the lighting isn’t very good and says it doesn’t help if you’re not very photogenic, whilst pointing at Fleabag- also telling her that she looked like a boy as a child. Fleabag smirks to us, seemingly in agreement. The Priest explains that Claire never mentioned she had a sister to which Claire responds, “Well, we don’t get to see each other much.” This prompts a despairing look from Fleabag. The Priest explains that he doesn’t really speak to his brother and as Godmother keeps prodding for answers so he reveals that his brother is a pedophile. Fleabag looks at us, stifling a laugh at her Godmother’s reaction. Fleabag is back outside having another cigarette. Her dad joins her, telling her he’s sorry he missed her birthday. He hands her an envelope in case she is struggling, but she explains that the café is going well. He tells her that it isn’t for work, just for her. He tells her she looks strong and asks if she is because she’s not being naughty. She tells her dad that she is happy for him and, after thanking her, he walks away.

Fleabag catches her brother-in-law downing a whiskey. As she lets him know she saw him, he goads her. He says he’s intrigued to know how she’s going to make the evening about herself and laughs at her. As the table talk about positivity, Claire says she takes all her emotions and buries and bottles them so they never come out- she’s never been better. As Claire recalls a Finnish saying which means “opening yourself up to the people who want to love you,” her husband, of course, makes a sleazy joke. The Priest asks Claire what she does in Finland and she says she works in Finance. This shocks everyone at the table who all think she’s a lawyer- including her husband! She explains that she works with lawyers, but she’s not a lawyer herself. Her dad tells her that she’s a solicitor and she tells him she went to business school. Claire deflects and asks Fleabag why she is being so quiet. Fleabag asks her what to say to which Claire replies “anything!” Claire asks what’s in Fleabag’s hand. As her dad is telling Claire that Fleabag doesn’t need to tell her, Fleabag says it’s a birthday present from their dad. Her dad tries his mumbling best to stop Fleabag from opening the envelope at the table. Fleabag explains that it is a voucher for a counselling session. After a second of silence from the table, Fleabag thanks her dad. Claire explains that she doesn’t think paying your problems away works as “you have to face who you are and suffer the consequences.” Fleabag hits back with, “Maybe happiness isn’t what you believe, but who you believe,” before side-eying her brother in-law with a sassy sip of her wine. After some awkward glances around the table, Claire runs to the toilet.

Fleabag enters the restroom. She asks Claire if she’s pissed off or doing a poo because she’s been so long. After a bit of whispered swearing, Claire asks Fleabag if she has a sanitary towel. Fleabag tries to fashion one out of some tissues. As she goes to give them to her sister, Claire slams the door on her and tells her not to come in. As Fleabag is telling her that her period won’t bite her, Claire states that it is a miscarriage. Fleabag tries to help and convince Claire to go to hospital. Claire isn’t having it and tells Fleabag to get her hands off her miscarriage since it’s hers. Fleabag is visibly upset and shocked. Claire comes out of the cubicle and washes her hands saying that she is okay. However, she agrees to go to hospital with Fleabag.

As they walk back to the table, Claire tells Fleabag not to tell anyone. She is going to tell them that she doesn’t feel right. To Fleabag’s shock, Claire sits down and pours a glass of wine. Claire is acting overly happy. Fleabag looks concerned and confused as talk at the table centers around Venice. Fleabag shouts at them to stop it. She stares at Claire and her sister stares back. Fleabag tries to explain, but Claire tells her not to so she panics. As everyone is pushing for answers, Fleabag blurts out that she had a miscarriage. Claire stares at her and the whole table is understandably shocked. As Claire says to Fleabag she doesn’t want to go to hospital, Fleabag explains it’s for all the reasons Claire doesn’t want to go to hospital. Claire declares that Fleabag is fine and “if it’s gone, it’s gone,” clearly trying to convince herself not to care. Fleabag gets up to leave and says she will deal with it in her own way to which her brother-in-law replies “that’s probably for the best.” The Priest asks him what he said and Fleabag explains that he’s been drinking, obviously shocking Claire. He makes snide remarks about the baby not wanting to be there, which results in a punch in the face from Fleabag. As chaos ensues Fleabag goes to punch him again. Martin tries to defend himself, but he ends up punching both Fleabag and The Priest. The needy waitress surrounds him, asking if there’s anything she can do. Bad mistake. She too ends up with a punch in the face. This takes us back to the opening shot. We now know how Fleabag got her bloody nose, who the Irish accent belongs to and who the random woman on the floor is.

The Priest gives Fleabag her belongings and tells her that he is always there if she ever needs someone to talk to. Fleabag walks the streets with blood still seeping from her nose. Her sister shouts to her and waves her into her taxi. Fleabag thanks her. Claire tells Fleabag to tell the taxi driver where she lives, but she asks him to take them to the nearest hospital. They look at each other; Fleabag with a smirk and Claire with a defeated smile. They stare out of their windows in silence until Claire breaks it saying, “The Priest is quite hot.” “So hot,” Fleabag agrees. After looking back out of their windows, Fleabag looks at us. She’s got something planned.