Fleabag – Episode #2.2

By: Ellie Dolan-Yates

After setting her eyes on The Priest (Andrew Scott) in the last episode, Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) can be found in church. Yes, church, making “peace be with you’s” with the congregation. As she kneels down to pray and The Priest recites the Lord’s Prayer. Fleabag can’t help but notice the many paintings and murals to Jesus. As the prayer ends, Fleabag turns her head to look at us. “Amen.”

The congregation finish their hymn and The Priest (black eye visible) tells them to be seated. “And also with you,” Fleabag replies, drawing The Priest’s attention to her. As Fleabag looks around embarrassed The Priest smiles. The Priest struggles to remember the notices as he’s clearly flustered by Fleabag’s appearance. The Priest thanks his congregation members as they leave the church, eventually getting around to Fleabag. As they joke about the punch-up at the meal, The Priest thanks more of his congregation members on their way out. Conversation resumes and Fleabag insists on paying him back for dinner. He refuses but Pam (Jo Martin), a devoted churchgoer, takes her money for the collection. The Priest asks Fleabag if she likes tea.

We find Fleabag in the vestry of the church surrounded by pink arts and crafts. She notices a suggestive painting of Jesus. “Jesus,” she smirks at us. She picks up a Bible and, as she begins to sniff it, The Priest comes in with their tea. He spills the tea over the table and swears. He uses his wrist cloth (I’m sure that’s the technical term) to clean up the tea and realizes that it is probably less holy than it was before, but God will understand. The Priest explains that all the tea is for the garden party/ fundraiser for which they have no staff. He tells Fleabag that she can help if she wants but retracts saying that she probably has a life. The Priest asks Fleabag if she wants a G&T and fetches them from his cupboard. Fleabag asks if he’s a cool priest, but he says not and asks Fleabag if she’s a cool person. She tells him that she’s a normal person because she doesn’t believe in God, at which point the suggestive painting of Jesus falls off the wall. “I love it when he does that,” jokes The Priest. The Priest tells Fleabag that she was in his prayers last night and she smirks at us and says “likewise.” He tells her that he is sorry for her loss, but she doesn’t understand. He reminds her of “her” baby. She pauses for a second confused and then remembers that she told everyone that she had a miscarriage when in fact it was her sister, Claire (Sian Clifford). He offers her words from the funeral liturgy for comfort and she thanks him but says she’s an atheist. The Priest says her smelling The Bible gave it away. As The Priest reveals that he writes restaurant reviews in his spare time, she smiles at him and then turns her head to us to say, “Oh God, I fancy a priest!”

Fleabag is in her bed googling “Catholic Priest sex.” Her search returns only the terms “celibacy” and “abstinence,” which she immediately Googles the meaning of. Disappointed with the result, she Googles “what happens when a priest has sex.” Her eyes widen and we don’t see the result…probably for the best. The scene cuts to outside Fleabag’s café, which seems to be thriving. As Claire approaches she is confused by the volume of people enjoying the place. She asks Fleabag why everybody is talking to each other. Fleabag explains that it’s “Chatty Wednesday,” meaning that if customers buy something they must talk to someone new. They sit down to talk and an old man approaches Claire. “No!” is her shocked response. Fleabag explains that Claire hasn’t bought anything and the man leaves. Claire states that her husband, Martin (Brett Gelman), still doesn’t know about the miscarriage. Fleabag notices Claire’s spotty black and white pumps and looks at us. As she mentions the “funky trainers” to Claire, her sister says she’s fine and doesn’t want a big deal making out of the miscarriage.

Godmother (Olivia Colman) is hugging Fleabag and tells Claire to get the door – a bit of a turnaround in favoritism. She asks Fleabag if she knows who the father was, but Fleabag says that she would rather not talk about it all. They enter Godmother’s room where she has her easel set up ready to paint the sisters. As Godmother sits the sisters down, she tells Fleabag to turn around so we see Claire facing Godmother and the back of Fleabag’s head. Fleabag tells us that Godmother can’t not talk about the miscarriage and sure enough Godmother mentions that she has six friends (“a lie”) who have had miscarriages. Fleabag points to one of Godmother’s paintings saying that she loves the color. Godmother tells her that it’s three colors and she’s getting rid of it. She goes on to explain that she had an orgasm finishing it…lovely. Godmother keeps telling Fleabag to turn around so that we only see the back of her head. Claire explains that she’s actually quite busy this afternoon with Finland coming over. Godmother makes sure that Claire has everything ready for the wedding. As questions from Godmother keep coming, Claire’s phone continues to vibrate. Claire says that she now has to organize canapes for an awards ceremony. Fleabag says that she will take care of the canapes. As the sisters leave the house, Claire reveals that Martin wants to press charges against Fleabag! Claire explains that she will provide Fleabag with “exceptional legal advice” as long as Fleabag doesn’t tell anyone. Claire, after all, is Fleabag’s sister. Claire tells her that she is mortified that it is happening, but she will help her and hire her to provide the canapes.

Claire and Fleabag meet the lawyer (Ray Fearon) set to defend Fleabag. Claire tells Fleabag not to flirt with the lawyer, but it appears Fleabag may have a hard time not doing that. There’s an awkward exchange between the three as they enter the office. The lawyer is sat with his feet up, munching on what appears to be a club sandwich with mayonnaise around his mouth. He says if Fleabag pleads guilty she could be looking at a short sentence or community service if she’s lucky. He tells her not to apologize under any circumstances as it could be seen as an admission of guilt. Fleabag is more than happy to adhere to his advice. As there is an exchange of opinions between Claire and the lawyer, Fleabag says to us that the two have definitely had sex…or maybe not…she can’t tell. She’s got it – they haven’t had sex, but they want to. Fleabag leaves as she can’t bear the tension. Choral music plays as Fleabag stares at a tree whilst waiting outside for Claire. Claire explains that they lawyer will only help Fleabag if she goes for a drink with him. They both agree that they thought he was after Claire, but Claire explains her hair isn’t great at the moment. Fleabag says she won’t sleep with him because she doesn’t do that anymore. This shocks Claire and she asks if Fleabag is ill. Claire guesses that Fleabag has met someone and Fleabag says they are “sort of” single. Claire tells Fleabag that her actions in the restaurant were unforgivable but thanks her. Fleabag offers Claire the counselling session that their dad gifted Fleabag for her birthday. Claire refuses and says she’d rather have the money.

Fleabag is attending the counselling session. Fleabag explains that the counselling session was a birthday present from her dad. The therapist (Fiona Shaw) tells Fleabag not to make jokes. Fleabag explains that her dad probably got her the session due to him not being able to talk about her mother dying, her fractured relationship with her sister and her using sex to deflect from her problems. The therapist asks if Fleabag gets on with her family. We flashback to her punching Martin in the face. Fleabag’s face drops when she’s asked if she has any friends. There’s a short flashback to Boo (Jenny Rainsford) but Fleabag says she doesn’t have time for friends, except her guinea pig. With another flashback to Boo we see Fleabag explains that sex didn’t bring anything good, hence why she no longer uses it as a coping mechanism. The therapist asks Fleabag if the impulse is still there and with a flashback to The Priest. She confirms. The therapist asks Fleabag if she’s in love with [The Priest], but she laughs and says no. As Fleabag explains that she’s not a romantic, the therapist throws the dagger in by saying, “Just a girl with no friends and an empty heart?” As the therapist explains that is Fleabag’s own description, we can see Fleabag start to well up, clearly upset by this realization. After thinking about it, she says she has friends and someone to talk to and winks at us. She tells the therapist that she has a nice life and just wanted to exchange the voucher for the money. The therapist tells her it’s too late to get her money back. Fleabag decides to go ahead with the counselling session, admitting that she wants to have sex with The Priest and wants to know how to do so without getting arrested. She pleads with the therapist to tell her what to do. The therapist tells Fleabag that she’s already decided what she’s going to do.

Fleabag tells us to shut up as we see her handing out raffle tickets at the church garden party. Oh wait, who’s this guy with a papoose wanting tickets? It’s Harry (Hugh Skinner)! Yes, Fleabag’s extremely emotional ex – with a baby! As Fleabag congratulates him on having a baby, he congratulates her on getting a fringe. He says that the birth took its toll and with his emotions being up and down, but his partner Elaine is being amazing. The Priest appears and Harry introduces his baby, but The Priest says he doesn’t know how to talk to babies. Harry awkwardly says that he used to be Fleabag’s boyfriend and says he’s going to show baby Susie the coconuts because she’s really good at counting. After an awkward chat, The Priest asks about the orgasm painting which has been donated by Godmother. Fleabag tries not to tell him what happened when it was painted but can’t help herself. The Priest puts his hand on Fleabag’s arm and thanks her for helping. She takes a deep breath.

As Fleabag is watching her step-nephew, Jake (Angus Imrie), play the bassoon with the church band Martin approaches. He tries to wind her up and then apologizes for what he said about her “miscarriage.” Fleabag tells him she knows what he’s doing and then tells us that she’s not going to say it. As he keeps telling her he’s sorry she’s adamant she’s not returning the apology. As Martin thanks her for helping his and Claire’s relationship, Fleabag sarcastically tells him she’s happy and gives an empowering speech about only to end it calling Martin a “weaky.” As the band finishes, he tells her she’s a “strongy.” Jake approaches them asking where Claire is. He thanks Fleabag for watching and he hugs her. Martin tells Fleabag that Claire has been happy until she saw her. Martin and Jake walk away, but Jake comes back to whisper in Fleabag’s ear to “tell her to leave him.”

The Priest runs after Fleabag as she is leaving the church. Fleabag thinks that he is going to ask her out, but he just wants his coconut back. Fleabag is excited by the knuckle brush as she hands it back. The Priest tells her that he’s marked a few pages in The Bible for her. Fleabag is skeptical, but takes The Bible all the same. The Priest says he is there with G&T if she ever wants to talk. Fleabag smiles at us and walks away reading The Bible.