Good Omens – Chapter 5: The Ball

By: Kelly Kearney

With Heaven and Hell both looking for Gabriel, Aziraphale tries to make good on that miracle lie by bringing Maggie and Nina together. His big plan is to organize a meeting of the Whickbar Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association hoping it gets the two women in the same room and talking. Down in hell, the demon Shax is gearing up to wage war on the Bookshop and drag the Archangel Gabriel down to hell. With soldiers ready to fight on her command, the war for Aziraphale’s continued existence is about to kick-off.

A Little Wink and Nod to Doctor Who

Aziraphale’s (Michael Sheen) big plan to get Nina (Nina Sosanya) and Maggie (Maggie Service) together requires the involvement of all the other shopkeepers in town. This Whickbar Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association just isn’t as exciting to the locals as he hoped it would be so the angel winds up bribing them with a rare Doctor Who manual and other rare fines. It’s a little Easter egg for David Tennant fans who loved his version of the time traveling and shape-shifting doctor. As Aziraphale works to get this big meeting off the ground without a hitch, Crowley (David Tennant) chooses to stick by his friend’s side and amuse himself over the angel’s grand plan. We see him in the shop playing with a fez cap and laughing at Aziraphale as he tries to speak French to a French cafe owner who actually speaks English fluently.

Meanwhile his replacement in Hell, Shax (Miranda Richardson), is trying to get Furfur (Reece Shearsmith) to give her 10,000 demons for an army to launch a war against the angel and his bookshop. The demon just laughs at her request and then downgrades her order to 100 soldiers and then threatens to decrease those numbers if she keeps insisting he help her. Furfur seems to be holding all the cards here so Shax agrees to his demands while also gathering a group of stragglers she’s calling her Legion. One of those demonic men is named Eric and he keeps interrupting her war-talk with facts about how difficult it would be to fight one on earth. Shax isn’t interested in his Debbie Downer truths so she sets him on fire for interrupting her.

Back at the Bookshop we find Crowley and Aziraphale arguing about the angel’s French, and Nina can’t help but be bemused by the couple’s bickering. She’s definitely enjoying the show– much like they’ve enjoyed watching her banter with the record shopkeep they’ve been trying to hook her up with. The two men notice she’s entertained by their discussion, giving Aziraphale the perfect opportunity to invite her to his big event. She agrees to stop by but only because she has a few complaints about the city’s Christmas decorations on her street. Aziraphale  couldn’t be happier that she’s agreed to attend his meeting since the entire thing is a setup for her and Maggie. The angel is basically beside himself with glee, and Crowley and Nina share a look and a joke about how this is probably going to be his first and very last time hosting. They’re united in their delight with the angel and a sort of instant friendship is born. It prompts Nina to notice how Crowley looks at the Bookshop owner and she asks him how long the two men have been together. That snaps Crowley out of his gay-gaze to say that the two of them are not together and there’s nothing going on between them. The lady doth protest too much, Nina must be thinking because she can read him pretty well and ignores his denial to ask why their love life is not as easy and straightforward as other people’s. It’s a question that sticks in Crowley’s mind.

Subtext on the Verge of Maintext

Later, Aziraphale finds his partner in the French cafe having a drink and asks Crowley why he doesn’t wait at the bookshop with him instead. Still reeling from Nina’s observations, the demon says he never liked the  ookshop but the angel knows he’s lying. He’s also miffed over that amnesiac they’re hiding and how the last time they tangled with him he tried to kill Aziraphale, he doesn’t understand why he would take that risk, especially when he’s not even sure if the Archangel is lying. Is he really clueless as to why he’s in London or is this some trap to get back at Aziraphale for their last encounter? The angel doesn’t disregard Crowley’s concerns and says that they should talk about it later. Their relationship might not be so straightforward like Nina pointed out but there is a modicum of respect for their differing opinions and ideas. Speaking of Nina, she gets a text from her partner Lindsey who absolutely does not respect her enough to end their relationship in person. She dumps the coffee shop owner over a text message for being too self-centered. What perfect timing! Now she’s single for the shopkeepers matchmaking event but will her bruised heart be in the mood for a get together?

In the Bookshop, Crowley turns his confusion, fear, and anger on to Gabriel (Jon Hamm) and starts berating over the past when he tries to kill his friend. The verbal tongue- lashing upsets Gabriel, who then offers to fix things by doing whatever the demon asks of him. Crowley comes up with an idea and tells Gabriel to jump out of the window and without even blinking, the Archangel starts walking to the window. Crowley is surprised because yes, he is angry about the way Gabriel treated Aziraphale but now he’s mostly frustrated over the threats against the angel now. Gabriel has always been bad news and he dredges up all those awful feelings. He once again tries to jog the Archangel’s memories but his brain is empty and all the little bits of information seem scattered and none of it makes sense. Gabriel does admit that he remembers taking his memories and putting them in a matchbox! Could that be the same matchbox that was found in front of the elevators in Heaven that sent Aziraphale to The Resurrectionist pub? In Heaven, Muriel (Quelin Sepulveda), Michael (Doon Mackichan), and Uriel (Gloria Obianyo) have that matchbox and they’re starting to catch on to who this assistant Jim is. Speaking of Jim,  he sees a different side of Crowley when the demon brings him some soothing and delicious hot chocolate. It’s a nice gesture and Crowley warns him not to spread that news around because no one would believe he could ever be nice. While the two men are sipping hot chocolate, downstairs Aziraphale works miracles turning his bookshop into a ballroom. He sends his not so better half out to make sure Maggie and Nina are still coming to the meeting but before he can go, he can’t help but soak in all of this tag-team matchmaker stuff. Aziraphale seems so happy and that’s appealing to Crowley.

With the shop decorated and the meeting about to start, we see Mrs. Sandwich (Donna Preston) is the first to arrive. As she crosses the threshold to the bookstore her casual outfit instantly turns into a gown as does everyone else’s in attendance. It looks like Aziraphale is finally getting his Jane Austen moment and everything is going perfectly. Operation lovebirds is a go, until brokenhearted and recently dumped Nina decides she isn’t in a party mood and would rather head home and wallow in her sadness. Crowley winds up convincing her to go to the bookshop anyway, as if it’s the only safe place in town to be. When Nina enters the shop she realizes something is strange– she can’t really feel anything and she should be angry or at least mourning the loss of her relationship. Instead she just feels numb, and it seems like everybody else in the room is in some sort of trance. Everyone is in some 19th century dreamlike state, even the discussion between Ms Cheng (Crystal Yu) and Mrs. Sandwich about their professions feels dated. Apparently, Mrs. Sandwich cannot stop saying that she’s a seamstress, the Victorian code-word for sex workers..  Next we find Maggie making her way to the bookshop, and Crowley spots a few dozen masked people following closely behind her. He swoops in to intervene; ripping off their masks to reveal the demons behind them. What do they want? Well, Gabriel, of course, and anyone else who helped him–namely, Crowley’s angel.  Surprised by the fact Hell now knows where Gabriel is, Crowley yells at the masked group for breaking the rules, and then rushes back to the bookstore to let Aziraphale know. But inside the mood is jovial, everyone is dancing and having a good time–even Maggie and Nina. Dancing and enjoying each other’s company doesn’t mean the two women aren’t aware they are in some sort of trance because normally the locals don’t have these Jane Austen throwback conversations. It’s all so strange but at least it’s distracting Nina from her break-up. She winds up confiding in Maggie about her relationship status and says she assumes the woman dumped her because she’s a lot of hard work. That’s when Maggie– with the biggest set of heart eyes Nina has probably ever seen, says she doesn’t mind hard work. Aziraphale’s plan is working!

Love Means Sacrifice

Those two lovebirds aren’t the only ones having a fun time at the meeting. Gabriel, who’s dressed as a flashy blue bedazzled waiter, Is turning all the  guests’ heads; even Mrs. Sandwich is smitten and her flirtations are keeping him busy. That’s a good thing too, because Crowley fills Aziraphale in about the masked demons congregating outside but the tranced out angel can’t be bothered with that. Instead, he pulls his partner in for a dance and the two men spin around the ballroom until Crowley’s fear gets the better of him. He almost begs Aziraphale to take these threats outside seriously  because they’re not only coming for Gabriel but for the angel’s existence too. That’s when Shax throws a rock through the shop window and etched into the stone it reads, “surrender the angel.” This wakes Aziraphale up and he tries to threaten the demons with his miraculous powers but Shax just laughs because Heaven’s outcast is powerless. He also can’t stop her from killing every human one by one until he hands over Gabriel. Knowing Shax isn’t too familiar with the rules of engagement since she’s new to the job, Crowley announces that the war cannot kick off until they evacuate all the humans from the shop as per hell’s laws of battle. Through all the commotion Gabriel overhears his name and realizes all this fighting is about him. To end this, he offers to go outside and surrender to the masked mob. But when he tries, the demons even recognize him. Even Shax, who keeps yelling for them to send out Gabriel, is blind to the man standing in front of her. Unsure why they don’t know who he is, the Archangel walks back inside and that’s when Crowley realizes their little miracle of his and Aziraphale’s that somehow ended Gabriel’s ability to surrender. This battle is about to kick off with no way to stop it, so to make sure everyone gets out alive all the guests quickly line up in a row and Crowley leads them out of the shop and away from harm. Maggie and Nina are braver than the rest and decide to stay behind and help Aziraphale fight. He is grateful but doesn’t seem too worried about the outcome because he knows Crowley has his back and will rescue him. Nina finds that a little strange and wonders why he doesn’t rescue himself, he seems quite capable of doing it, after all he turned a bookshop into a ballroom.  He’s not wrong though, if trouble lands on his doorstep, Crowley will always be there to save the day. So, it isn’t surprising when once the meeting attendees are safe, Crowley spots Muriel and tries to turn himself in. He practically orders her to take him to heaven, as if giving up his own existence would somehow save Azirapahle’s life. Muriel is shocked–not by his sacrifice but by the sheer fact the demon saw through her human cosplay. She was sure it was believable and now she’s wondering if his request to go to heaven isn’t a trick? What demon wants to spend their last minutes in Heaven? Eventually she agrees to arrest him, and with a nod of her head she drags him to Heaven to answer for Aziraphale’s sins.