Hooten & The Lady – Egypt

By: Stacy Miller

Alexandria, Egypt.  Alex (Ophelia Lovibond) is giving a lecture talking about the long lost tomb of Alexander the Great; she wants permission to excavate. Later at The British Museum, Ella (Jessica Hynes) is speaking with Alex on the phone and comments that she can’t believe they said no to the excavation. Ella suggests that Alex speak with Professor Gohar (Manuel Cauchi) and tell him that Gigi sent him. Hmm. It sounds like a fun story there.  So, Lady Alex meets with Professor Gohar, who tells her that his hands are tied. But Alex refuses to take no for an answer; she has to protect the new site and find Alexander the Great’s tomb. “Before some criminal low-life comes and desecrates it for their own squalid, mercenary ends,” Alex says.  We then see Hooten (Michael Landes) setting off an explosion near a pyramid.  A soldier points a gun at him. “It’s okay, I’m an archeologist,” Hooten says before hitting the man.  Soon, Hooten is fighting and shoots are being fired at him.  Because if shots weren’t being fired at Hooten, we’d be watching the wrong show.  He calls Alex. “Why can I hear gunfire?” she asks.  “Because I’m being shot at,” Hooten answers, by-passing Alex’s attempt at getting clearance to excavate.

Alex, Professor Gohar and Dr. Yannaras (Blake Ritson) enter the temple.  Professor explains that Lady Alex is there as his guest and that no permits have been issue. When they open it, the shrine of Alexander the Great doesn’t contain his body.  Alex offers a distraction so he can get away when she finds Hooten hiding there.  “You snooze, you lose,” says Hooten after he gets outside and steals a jeep and rides off.  Never a dull moment when Hooten is on a mission with Alex.  I wonder what Ella and The British Museum would say about Hooten’s methods though. It looks like Hooten made off with a medallion he took from the tomb.

Later at a bar, Hooten meets an attractive woman named Melina (Angela Coulby). He then gambles with the money he got from selling the stolen jeep.  The medallion is thrown into the pot for a winner take all game.  The locals refuse to let Hooten leave with the winnings.  Fortunately, Melina comes to his rescue with a vehicle for them to make their escape.  Hooten and Melina end up in his room and are about to give into their passion when surprise, Alex turns on the lights.  She lies that she is Hooten’s wife so Melina leaves the room.  Alex confronts Hooten for stealing the medallion.  She also warns Hooten that the woman (Melina) was more interested in the medallion than Hooten’s body.

The next day, Ella is going over the photo of the medallion Alex sent to her and tells Alex that it is indeed an important find.  Ella urges Alex to keep Mr. Hooten by her side for her personal safety and to always carry insect repellent to spray into the eyes of anyone that means her harm.  Clive (Shaun Parkes) reminds Alex that The British Museum’s employees can’t go around blowing up things.  Alex asks whether they plan to end Hooten’s contract. No, but Clive says that their association with Hooten must remain discreet because they can’t afford to be compromised…or held accountable.

Meanwhile, Hooten finds himself handcuffed to his bed and Melina standing over him.  She tells Hooten that she came for the medallion. Their search of Hooten’s room comes up empty.  “He must have given it to the girl,” Melina says, telling her men to check Alex’s room next door.  But Alex is ready; she has a bottle and insect repellent.  Alex sprays her intruder’s eyes with the insect repellent then smashes him over the head with the bottle. She goes into Hooten’s room. What we get next is girl on girl fighting as Alex and Melina exchange punches.  Alex tries to hold her own, but in the end she’s no match for Melina who makes off with the medallion.  She (Melina) does leave the keys to the handcuffs though.  Once they are alone in the room, Hooten comments that he can’t believe that Alex hid the medallion in her pajamas.  They have to get it back or Alex owes him a billion dollars.  Alex tells Hooten that the medallion is only worth that much when it is in the tomb.  And if Ella is able to translate it from the photos she sent, they won’t need it at all. Hooten vows to get the medallion back and make Melina pay. “No one handcuffs me without an agreed upon safe word,” Hooten says. So, he rips the curtains and ties them around the man Alex sprayed the insect repellent on, then dangles the man over the balcony of the hotel.  Hooten threatens to burn the curtain unless the man tells him what he wants to hear.  If the fire doesn’t get the guy, the fall will.

Alex confronts Dr. Yannaras as the dangling man had revealed that Melina was working for him. Yannaras explains his reasons and his determination in finding Alexander the Great’s tomb.  Meanwhile, Hooten finds Melina and points his gun on her demanding that she return the medallion. But Melina gets the upper hand and ends up knocking Hooten on the floor.  Now, she’s the one pointing the gun. Gotcha! The joke is on Melina because Hooten didn’t have it loaded!  He is able to get Melina on the floor and handcuffs her; they will go someplace private and have a little chat.  Melina angrily tells Hooten he’s ruined everything.  She admits that she is a cop and has been tracking Yannaras and his gang for years. Melina tells Hooten that she is working with the Egyptian authorities. But the soldiers at the site that confronted Hooten when he set off the explosion are mercenaries that answer only to Yannaras.

Back at the site, Alex and Yannaras locate another chamber in the shrine.  Alex explains to Yannaras that the ancient city of Alexandria was built like a chess board and finding the actual burial place of will be like completing a chess game.

Hooten and Melina drive up to the site in a jeep.  Melina reminds Hooten that the mercenaries have been given the order to shoot him on sight.  She asks for him to give her his watch.  Melina enters the tomb and flashes the watch, telling Yannaras that she killed Hooten.  Yannaras attempts to shoot Alex, but Melina stops him saying that they can kill Alex after they’ve located the tomb.  Alex is locked in the chamber.  Hooten watches from his hiding place as Melina leaves with Yannaras.  Alex is happy to see Hooten alive.  He tells her that Melina is a cop and Alex tells him that she gave Yannaras the wrong location.  Alex calls Professor Gohar and tells him about Yannaras. She urges Gohar to notify the police.  But it turns out that Professor Gohar is working with Yannaras and since Alex told him that Melina is a cop, Melina is also now in danger. “It looks like my percentage just went up,” Professor Gohar says to Yannaras after hanging up the phone on Alex.

Alex and Hooten don scuba gear and dive in the water towards the correct tomb of Alexander the Great. Alex and Hooten find Alexander the Great’s body.  Hooten is furious when he sees the body is not encased in gold and jewels as Alex lead him to believe.  The cultural and historical importance of the discovery means squat to Hooten.  If Yannaras doesn’t kill her, he may consider doing the deed himself!  Alex calms Hooten down and tells him that they can’t let Yannaras get Alexander the Great’s body.  Alex goes outside the chamber to stall Yannaras.  She tells him that if he lets them go he can have Alexander the Great’s body.  Then, Hooten appears with explosives threatening to blow the body up.  Yannaras and his men rush to save Alexander the Great’s body. They open the tomb and find explosives inside. The charges go off and it looks like Yannaras, his men and Alexander the Great’s body are trapped inside.

As the episode closes, while they are alone Hooten asks Melina out for a drink.  Sure, but only if Alex can come too. Sorry Hooten, it looks like Melina wasn’t interested in you in any way. Hooten tells Melina that although Alex is engaged, it is just a beard for her high society parents.  “You’re so in there.”