Hooten & The Lady – Moscow

By: Stacy Miller

Red Square, Moscow, Russian Federation.  We see a man on a train get off and look around cautiously as he walks down the street.  “Going somewhere?” Hooten asks the man, Hercules (Anton Lesser), before greeting him with a hug.  “Why do you have me tailing you all over Moscow?” Hooten asks. Hercules tells Hooten that he found what has been his life’s work, the fifty-first imperial Easter egg with the broken heart intact. They go to a bar to talk in private. Hercules expresses his sympathy over the death of that “beautiful woman with a kind heart” and Hooten’s son. “It was him wasn’t it? He killed them both.” Hercules urges Hooten to stop torturing himself because “he’s dead now.”  While Hooten and Hercules are talking, a man is watching their conversation from the background. Can you say bad guy?  So, this bad guy sends a message to an attractive red head.  The woman alerts another man, who plays a recording of Hooten and Hercules’ conversation.

Meanwhile in London, Alex (Ophelia Lovibond) and Edward (Jonathan Bailey) meet Alex’s mother to go over wedding plans.  This can only mean one thing, the ever classy lady Jane Seymour is back. At The Inner Temple, City of London, Lady Lindo-Parker takes charge of the planning right down to the bridesmaids’ dresses and orchestra playing Mozart.  “Alex, I have a complete vision of what this day is going to be, please don’t interrupt,” Lady Lindo-Parker tells her daughter when Alex reminds that it’s their (hers and Edward) wedding.  But Edward agrees with Lady Lindo-Parker’s selections.  He whispers to Alex that they can change things later, but if they agree they can get out of there now.  Alex’s cell phone rings.  She receives a call from Hooten.  He tells her that she has to get to Moscow now. He won’t tell Alex over the phone what it is but will only say “It’s major.” Alex apologizes to Edward and her mother, saying she has to go and take care of museum stuff.

In Moscow, Hooten is at his hotel getting a bucket of ice when he is hit over the head rendering him unconscious. Alex calls Ella (Jessica Haynes) and assures “Hooten knows what he’s doing so whatever’s in Russia must be important.”  Ella tells Alex that she will let Clive (Shaun Parkes) know and asks Alex to bring her back a Russian doll.  Alex arrives at the address Hooten gave her and asks at the hotel for him. And later in the ladies room, Alex overhears the attractive red head talking about Hooten. She follows the woman in her car, hoping to be led to her friend. But, unfortunately, Alex’s car runs out of gas.

Meanwhile, Hooten is tied to a chair.  He recognizes his captor as the man who was at the bar. “If you wanted to make friends, all you had to do was ask,” says Hooten.  “American you will be making friends, friends with pain,” the man says wielding a huge club. “Did that sound better in your head?” Hooten asks sarcastically.  I love television bad guys, they always try to be witty before they beat the crap out of you!  The beating begins but is interrupted by the attractive red head who demands to know where Hercules is.  They know that he has the Fabergé egg.  Hooten tells her that Hercules is in his (Hooten) room back at the hotel. “Who do you think I was getting ice for?  Do I look like a guy who puts ice in his drink?”  The bad guy and woman leave to go after Hercules.  Alex enters and rescues Hooten. She thinks he should thank her for tracking him down and tells him that the woman is named Valerya (Olivia Grant).  Alex and Valerya studied ancient history together.  “She calls herself an archeologist, but she deals in stolen artifacts,” Alex tells Hooten.  Her back is turned as he changes into one of the outfits she brought along for the trip. It is a large Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer costume, a present from Edward.  Alex is amused to see Hooten in the reindeer costume, but he warns that they are never to speak of this again.

In the car, Hooten tells Alex about the Fabergé egg that Hercules found.  Alex can’t believe that Hooten believes that it is real. She said that it is a myth, a fake.  All the real priceless artifacts were lost with The Romanovs.  “I’ve got so much on my plate at the moment with this wedding and I drop everything for some made in Taiwan knockoff!” Alex says annoyed.  But Hooten thinks that Alex wanted an excuse to drop everything and run off because she really doesn’t want to get married; she’s only doing it because she’s a people pleaser who doesn’t have the guts to say no. Ouch Hooten, don’t sugar coat it.  An angry Alex brings the car to a halt.

Back in London, Lady Lindo-Parker finds Ella sitting on a bench having a cappuccino.  Alex’s mother asks Ella whether her daughter (Alex) is with “that man.”  Ella assures that Alex and Mr. Hooten just work together. “We’ll see about that,” Lady Lindo-Parker says before leaving.  Hmm…what is Alex’s mother planning?

Alex tells Hooten that she thinks the best thing for them is to go their separate ways.  She offers to drop Hooten off at the nearest train station.  But that will have to wait because Valerya and company have caught up with them.  Valerya is angry because they didn’t find Hercules in Hooten’s hotel room.  Hooten tells Alex to drive faster because “they are going to run us off the road.”  “She wouldn’t dare.  You wouldn’t dare Valerya,” Alex calls out the window of the car. Valerya accepts Alex’s challenge and…you guessed it, runs Alex and Hooten off the road!  Alex and Hooten hide in the woods as Valerya and her cronies search for them. Valerya orders Alex to come out then she gets a phone call from her boss who tells Valerya that the girl (Alex) is no longer needed. After hanging up the phone, Valerya tells her partner to kill Alex but leave the American alive.  Alex and Hooten decide to split up to lose their pursuers.  Hooten ends up getting caught when his Rudolph costume antlers get stuck to a tree. He seems more annoyed though that the bad guy mistakes his Rudolph costume for Bambi. Alex saves Hooten from the bad guy.  Alex tells Hooten that she’s decided that they will see this through together to the end; she wants to prove that he’s wrong about everything…the egg is a fake AND she loves Edward and his happy about getting married.

Hooten goes to check on Hercules and finds his friend on the floor.  He was stung by a scorpion.  Sadly, Hercules dies.  Hooten goes back to Alex and tells her he has a lead and the two end up at a hotel where they become wedding crashers. Back in London, Lady Lindo-Parker goes to Clive and tells him that she has a problem and he’s going to help her with it.

In Moscow at the wedding, Alex is trying to find the contact that can lead them to the Fabergé egg. Unfortunately, Valerya shows up and tries to shoot Alex with a crossbow that she conveniently carries in her purse.  Hooten keeps Alex from being hurt and the two get out before the cops arrive and arrest Valerya and her cronies.  Alex realizes that Hercules’ contact isn’t a man as the Russian phrase he (Hercules) told Hooten actually means cleaning lady. The hotel gives them the cleaning lady’s address and she shows Alex the Fabergé egg.  The woman tells Alex that her grandfather took the egg and gave it to her.  Alex opens the egg and uncovers the blood of the Romanov family, making this a rare find indeed. The cleaning woman is surprised that Hercules didn’t come.  That is when Hooten tells her that Hercules is dead.  The cleaning woman realizes that Hercules was killed because of the egg.  She says that the egg is a curse and should be destroyed. Later, Hooten takes the egg and throws it into the water.  He tells Alex that the man after the egg won’t stop until he gets it.  Her life is in danger and the lives of everyone she loves. “I just saved your life,” Hooten tells Alex urging her to go home.

As the episode ends, Clive calls Alex and tells her that when she returns to London he has decided to make her deskbound as he wants the old Alex back.  Furious, Alex says he has no idea who the old Alex is.  After hanging up the phone, Alex jumps into the water and retrieves the Fabergé egg.