Kevin Can Wait – Quiet Diet

By: Julie Mante

Six months ago, Kevin (Kevin James) and Donna (Erinn Hayes) made a deal. Donna said that Kevin could go to Mets Fantasy Camp if he found ways to lower his cholesterol. She said this because the couple would be renewing their life insurance policy in six months. One of the conditions of the policy is that both Donna and Kevin would have to take a blood test. If their cholesterol rates are high, their premiums go up. If they are low, the premiums go down. Donna said the extra money they will receive with their low rates can be used for Kevin to go to fantasy camp. Kevin assures her that his three-pronged system of laser focus, commitment and action would get him there. Six months later, Donna notices that Kevin has not changed his diet.

Now that the test is a week away, Kevin is determined to lower his cholesterol and has a new pronged system. Donna is not feeling very positive because she thought fantasy camp would motivate Kevin and it did not work. He suggests that he go to fantasy camp and lose the weight there and come back and take the test when he returns home in two months. Donna does not want to be without insurance for two months so she says no. After Kevin goes into the kitchen for a beer, Chale (Ryan Cartwright) offers to help Kevin lower his cholesterol. Chale shows Kevin an old picture of himself when he was overweight in England and shows him the huge pants he used to wear. After he tells Kevin that he does not want Kendra (Taylor Spreitler) to know about his past, Chale tells Kevin to participate in a high intensity master juice cleanse. Kevin cannot eat any solid food but only drink a juice mixture which Chale will prepare every single day.

Later, Kevin is hanging out with Mott (Christopher Brian Roach) and Goody (Leonard Earl Howze) at his house. Goody and Mott are enjoying some pizza with a new spicy Italian sausage and Kevin is stuck drinking juice. When Donna comes into the living room and sees Kevin with a beer in his hand and a slice of pizza next to him, she berates him about how high his cholesterol will be when he takes the test. When she leaves the room in a huff, his friends are confused. Kevin tells them that he does not want Donna to know he is doing a juice cleanse. When he does the test and his number is low, Donna will believe he did it while eating badly. This way she will never be able to criticize his eating habits. His friends are impressed.

When Kevin tries to eat some cookies in private, Chale catches him. When Chale gets the first cookies, Kevin continues to grab more junk food so he can have one bite. Chale tries to get Kevin to remember that he only has eleven hours until the test. He just needs to hold on until then. He admits to Chale every place he has hidden his snacks. The next day, Kevin is eating a burger. He thanks Chale for helping him get through the juice cleanse. Chale tries to encourage Kevin to eat healthier, but Kevin is happy the way he is. When Donna comes with the results, she is ready to rub Kevin’s bad results in his face but gets the shock of her life when she is the one with a high cholesterol and Kevin has healthy results.

The next day, Chale and Kendra are ready to watch a movie. She has made brownies and Chale has the wine ready. Kendra is shocked to see giant pants and wants to know if Chale knows anything about it. Chale decides to tell her the truth. Kendra wonders why he was so nervous to tell her about it. He admits that he did not want to tell her because he was afraid that she would see him differently, especially see how he eats differently. Donna is annoyed that she has to double her efforts to lower her cholesterol while her husband can eat all the junk he wants. Chale decides to tell her why Kevin had good results. When Kevin comes home, Donna tries to pretend that she no longer cares anymore about being healthy. She tells Kevin that she is ready for her fate. Before she dies early, she wants Kevin to familiarize himself with certain documents and possibly date her coworker Kimberly. At first, Kevin wants her to stop talking crazy but decides to go along with it. He prefers to date Donna’s Pilates instructor Lisa. Fed up with the charade, Donna admits that Chale told her about the cleanse and it was wrong for Kevin to cheat on the test. Kevin says he did what he had to do to hit his numbers and says that he should be mad at Donna because she did not hit hers. After they both admit they both do not want the other to remarry, Kevin suggests that they both do Chale’s juice cleanse together tomorrow. Tonight, they will eat Taco Bell.

In the closer, Donna and Kevin are on day six of their cleanse. They are both hallucinating. Donna sees a buff Kevin with a six pack and Kevin sees Donna as a taco.