Kevin Can Wait – Unholy War

By: Julie Mante

Kendra (Taylor Spreitler) and Chale (Ryan Cartwright) tell Donna (Erinn Hayes) that June 17th will be the official date for their wedding. Donna tells Kevin (Kevin James) to call Father Phillip (Jim Breuer) to reserve the church for that date. Kevin checks his schedule and says that the 17th will not work for him because the New York Mets are playing the San Diego Padres. Kendra asks her dad if he is seriously choosing the Mets over her wedding. Kevin says of course not. She points out that he discovered the game was an away game and he confirms that she is right.

As the Gable family are trying to find a parking spot in the church parking lot, Kevin runs into his high school nemesis, Terry Labasco (Kim Coates). Terry apologizes for taking Kevin’s spot and makes some small talk. After he leaves, Kevin reaffirms his belief that Terry is a jerk. When they walk inside the church, Kevin and Donna want to talk to Father Phillip so they tell the kids to go find seats. As they are about to talk to Father Phillip, Terry interrupts them and asks to reserve the church on June 17th for his daughter’s wedding. Donna and Kevin are aghast because that is the same day they want the church reserved for Kendra’s wedding. Both sides do not want to change their wedding dates so Father Phillip is put in an awkward position. He tells both families that he will talk about their situation at another time.
During Mass, Father Phillip asks his parishioners for a volunteer to host the Saturday pancake breakfast. He says he will owe the person a favor. Kevin and Terry race to find the signup sheet. Kevin accidentally grabs the wrong paper so Terry is able to sign up.

Kendra and Donna are in the kitchen as Kevin is headed to church to do some volunteer work. Donna and Kevin tell Kendra about the feud going on with the Labascos for the 17^th, but Kevin assures her that she will be married on the 17th. Chale is skyping his parents (Eric Michael Gillett and Cynthia Mace) to finalize the 17th date so they can fly to America from England. When Kendra walks in, she gets a frosty reception from her future in-laws. They race off to end the conversation when Kendra tries to talk to them. When Kendra talks to Chale about his parents not liking her, he is not very sympathetic. In fact, he brings up that her parents, especially her father, have not been kind to him since he moved in. Kendra tries to downplay her father not liking Chale and she leaves for work angry that Chale is not on her side.

It is late and Father Phillip wants Terry and Kevin to go home. Lately, the two men have been spending a lot of time at the church volunteering hoping to sway Father Phillip into picking one of them to have their daughter’s wedding on the 17th. When Father Phillip hears the men arguing, he tells them to knock off. He is stressed out because he needs someone to fill in for Sister Connie’s Catechism class. Immediately, Kevin volunteers. The lesson gets off to a rocky start when Kevin scares the kids by saying that someday they will all die. To deflect from the morbid topic, he tells everyone to move their arms in little circles. When one of the kids asks Kevin if God is real, he launches into a story about how God answered his prayers in 1986 for the Mets to win the World Series to prove his existence.

While Kevin is telling his story, Father Phillip and Terry walk in. Father Phillip wonders why Kevin is not following the lesson plan. Terry stuns the kids with his wonderful answer on God’s existence. He says, “Kids, we know that God exists because well, He is existence. He’s in every single one of us. He’s in our heart. He’s in our mind. His beauty is in the sun that rises and the moon that gives off that perfect night light. The fact that we exist is proof positive that God Himself exists.” The kids are left in awe of the profound statement and Kevin knows that this is not going well for him.

When Kevin comes home, he tells Donna that they have to step up their game. Terry is leaving a positive impression on Father Phillip and Kevin is worried that they will lose the wedding slot. Donna says that she has a Plan B. She is going to make a dish for the big fundraising dinner at the church. Kevin tells her she should make lasagna instead of her teriyaki chicken. While they are talking, Chale and Kendra come downstairs to tell her parents that they want to postpone the wedding. Their morning fight made them realize that they have some issues to work on before they get married. Kevin tells them that they have to figure their issues out before June 17th because he is going to make sure that he beats Terry at getting the slot.

The next day, when Kevin is repairing the confessional, Terry goes into the confessional booth and mistakes Kevin as a priest. Kevin is ready to correct the mistake when Terry admits that he has been treating Kevin badly for years. As he continues to confess that he has been jealous of Kevin since childhood, Terry knows deep down it is ridiculous to fight with Kevin about June 17th but he is worried about his health. He has heart problems and he is worried that he will not be able to see his daughter get married and it is really important to him. As he listens to his nemesis pour out his feelings, Kevin begins to see Terry in a new light.

When Kevin comes home, Donna has cooked three lasagna dishes for the fundraiser. Kevin tells her that they have to give Terry the date because he learned about his heart condition. When Donna complains about what to do about the lasagna, Kevin offers to eat it, but Donna says that he has to still take it to the church. Kendra and Chale tell her parents that they worked out all their issues and they want to be married on the 17^th, but Kevin tells them it is not going to happen now and leaves Donna to fill them in on the details. Later, Kevin tells Terry that he talked to Father Phillip about Terry’s family getting the date. Terry is grateful and the two hug it out. Donna reaches out to Terry’s wife Linda (Lana Young) and offers her support to Linda’s family in this difficult time. Linda seems to be confused and Donna realizes that Terry lied. He does not have a heart condition! Terry and Kevin are both ushers passing around the collection plate, in this case, collection stick. When Kevin passes Donna’s pew, she tells him that Terry lied. Kevin does not believe her at first, but she tells him that Terry knew that Kevin was in the confessional.

Kevin confronts Terry about lying and the two continue to fight over the slot. The two go outside and use the collection sticks as swords and duke it out. Terry hits Kevin and he falls off over the staircase. In the closer, Kevin has his own confessional with Father Phillip. Because of the stick fight, it was decided that neither family would get the 17th date. Kevin admits he took the competition too far.