Life In Pieces – Recovery Discipline Psycho Labor

By starrymag | May 29, 2019

By: Jessica Wolff

 

 

In the first story, Tim Hughes (Dan Bakkedahl) asks Joan Short (Dianne Wiest) if she wants to go for a walk. He shows her his new pants, but Joan tells him they’re supposed to be for women. Tim tells him he can’t return them and reminds her that they both need to rehab.

 

Tim tells her that he promised Heather Hughes (Betsy Brandt) that he would get her out of her bathrobe, and Joan points out the inappropriate phrasing. He tells her his phrasing is correct, as he wants her out of her bathrobe and to become a streetwalker.

 

On their walk, Tim complains about how exhausted and hot he is and Joan comments about how she struggled to get over the speed bump. They see a skee ball machine in the street, and Tim questions who would throw it out. Joan comments that she hasn’t played skee ball since she started dating John Short (James Brolin).

 

Joan mentions how broken down she is now, and Tim tells her not to talk like that, making an inappropriate ball pun. Tim hands her a ball and Joan is thrilled when she rolls it into the forty hole. He challenges her to a game, and she tells him she’ll beat the lady-pants off him.

 

The next day, Tim asks Joan if she’s ready for another walk, but she tells him she’s tired from yesterday’s walk. Tim reminds her he promised Heather and that he’s come up with more ball puns. She tells him she’s come up with some as well and agrees to go. Joan remarks that the walk is getting easier and is thrilled that Tim is wearing underwear today. They agree the conversation is nice and Joan beats Tim at skee ball before making another ball joke.

 

The next day, Tim tells Joan that he took some tickets out of Sophia Hughes’ (Giselle Eisenberg) drawer to pretend they won. Joan tells him Sophia is saving them, but Tim tells her he takes from Sophia’s “College Fund” piggy bank all the time. They find that the skee ball machine is gone and Joan remarks it was fun while it lasted.

 

Joan mentions she’s going to thank Heather for getting them to exercise together, but Tim admits that Heather doesn’t know. He explains that he was scared to walk alone in case he had another heart attack and tells her she’s been a comfort to him despite their differences over the years.

 

Joan questions when they had differences but tells Tim that his heart’s the best thing about him. The next morning, Tim answers the door and Joan tells him she found an abandoned air hockey table eight blocks away. Tim insists he can walk over there, and Joan promises they can work on their jokes on the way.

 

In the second story, Matt Short (Thomas Sadoski) and Colleen (Angelique Cabral) are impressed by Lucas’ (Vivaan Bisoi) manners at the dinner table. Colleen questions what they’re going to do with all of the baby stuff they bought, and Matt suggests they can sell it to Greg Short (Colin Hanks).

 

Dougie (Fortune Feimster) tells Colleen her snake is in the bag and Colleen tells her it isn’t. She replies that her snake is somewhere in the apartment and Lucas says hello to her. Dougie comments that the new guy is still there, and Colleen reminds her they adopted Lucas. After Colleen reminds her of Lucas’ name, she does a Darth Vader impression and Matt comments it’s a risky joke for an adopted kid.

 

As they play “Go Fish,” Matt and Colleen are taken aback when Lucas calls Matt a fartsack. Colleen questions where he heard that and Dougie asks which fartsack took her shower crocs. Later, Matt and Colleen sit Dougie down, telling her she’s setting a terrible example for Lucas. They assure her they’re not asking her to move out but ask her to watch her language and be her best self.

 

Matt adds she can be someone else’s best self, and Dougie replies she’ll consider their request. She makes a decision, rethinks it, and tells them she’ll honor their request. Later, Colleen asks Lucas how he’s enjoying dinner and Lucas belches in response. A dressed-up Dougie tells Lucas to have manners and politely asks Colleen to pass the potatoes.

 

Colleen comments on Dougie’s manners and Lucas politely asks Dougie to pass the potatoes. Matt thanks Dougie for making an effort, and Dougie opens a soda can at the table. Lucas declares he wants soda, and Matt tells Dougie they don’t drink soda. Dougie agrees, declaring carbonation the devil’s gas.

 

Colleen tells Dougie she has something on her face as she eats messily and Dougie declares she’s had enough. She declares she can’t keep up the charade of being perfect and tells them dinner tastes like poo before calling them losers. As Dougie leaves, Lucas declares the dinner poo and calls them losers as well.

 

Lucas repeatedly begs for candy as Matt tells Heather that Dougie’s been a bad influence on Lucas. Colleen and Matt ask if she has any candy, but Heather tells them Dougie isn’t their problem. She tells them to talk to their kid, but Matt and Colleen are worried that Lucas will hate them.

 

Heather tells them it’s part of parenting and demonstrates by demanding that Samantha Hughes (Holly Barrett) do her homework. Samantha tells Heather to do her housework, and Heather explains that it’s part of parenting. Matt agrees to lay down the law, but Colleen declares they’ll give him candy if it doesn’t work.

 

Matt and Colleen return home later to find Lucas up past his bedtime watching TV with Dougie. Matt turns off the TV and Dougie exclaims they’re watching a documentary on autopsies. Colleen tells Dougie it’s not age-appropriate, but Dougie argues the autopsies are on aliens.

 

Colleen tells Lucas to go to bed, but Lucas replies that Dougie told him he can watch one more genital autopsy. Colleen tells him Dougie isn’t his parent and Matt demands he go to bed. Lucas storms off and Colleen declares she hates being hated. Dougie assures them they’re doing the right thing, as kids do well with boundaries.

 

In the middle of the night, Colleen and Matt can’t sleep and Lucas tells them he can’t either. Lucas asks if he can sleep with them and Matt tells him to go to bed. Colleen reminds Matt this is what they want, and Matt apologizes before inviting Lucas to join them. Lucas climbs in between them and asks if Dougie is his brother or sister.

 

In the third story, John tells Heather he thought he’d be doing announcements when he agreed to volunteer at Sophia’s elementary school, not serving cafeteria food. Heather tells him this will allow him to be more social, and Heather says hello as Sophia walks up. Sophia asks John what he’s doing there, and John replies he’s slinging garbage before apologizing to Mr. Sissel (Biff Wiff).

 

Sissel tells him he isn’t the cook, but the janitor before introducing himself. As Sophia sits down, Beverly (Cassidy Naber) asks her why her hot grandfather is talking to “psycho Sissel.” Sophia comments that she didn’t know Sissel could speak and is disturbed that Beverly just called her grandpa hot.

 

As the family watches a scary movie, Sophia goes to answer the door and screams upon seeing Sissel holding a chainsaw. John greets Sissel, thanking him for letting him borrow the chainsaw. Sissel warns John to be careful, as the chainsaw can cut through the bones of a child.

 

Tyler Hughes (Niall Cunningham) questions why “psycho Sissel” is at the house and Sophia explains that he and John are friends now. Samantha asks if John knows that Sissel steals fetal pigs from the science lab and eats them. Clementine Hughes (Hunter King) tells them she’s heard that Sissel waits until everyone leaves before walking slowly up and down the hallways.

 

Sophia declares his face looks like the top of a cranberry muffin and that she wishes he would leave. Sissel interrupts them, telling Sophia she’s getting her wish before telling John he has to leave. Later, Sophia asks John is okay and he tells her Sissel is ignoring his calls. Sophia and Heather assure John there must be an explanation, but John is adamant his calls are being ignored.

 

Sophia assures John he has plenty of friends, but Heather tells her that all of John’s friends are dead. John argues that two are in hospice but changes it to one after receiving a text. Sophia goes into the janitor closet looking for Sissel. He asks what she wants as he steps out of the shadows.

 

Sophia notices the jars of fetal pigs on a shelf and declares the rumors are true. Sissel explains that the science lab ran out of space and the school forced him to store them in the janitor closet. Sophia apologizes for being mean and asks him not to let it affect his friendship with John, commenting that he doesn’t have many friends. Sissel tells her he doesn’t have a lot of friends either, telling her he’s learned thanks to her it’s because he’s a horrifying monster.

 

Sophia tells him he’s probably a nice man and that there’s an explanation for the dismembered torso nearby. He explains it’s a CPR dummy and agrees to call John back. Sophia tells him the kids might not think he’s creepy if he smiled before but finds his smile creepier. Sophia takes Sissel to the cafeteria and addresses the other kids. However, Beverly declares that Sissel has Sophia and the kids scream.

 

In the final story, Joan compliments Jen Short (Zoe Lister-Jones) on throwing the perfect birthday party for Lark Short (Ana Sophia Heger) three weeks before her due date. Jen explains she wants Lark to have the best birthday before the baby ruins her life. Joan assures her that a baby is the best gift for Lark, and Greg reminds her that Matt put him in the trash when he was a baby.

 

Greg asks Jen a question and realizes that Jen is hunched over. Jen explains that she’s having gas every seven to eight minutes and Greg realizes she is having contractions. However, Jen insists that Lark’s birthday needs to be perfect and she won’t let the baby ruin it.

 

Later, Greg finds Jen in their room and she tells him she’s having this baby today. She asks if the party is over yet and Greg reminds her their last conversation was five minutes ago. Greg declares he’s taking Jen to the hospital, but Jen doesn’t want to ruin Lark’s birthday by having the baby today.

 

Greg points out Lark and the baby will have the same birthday and Jen questions why she let him have sex with her nine months ago. Greg points out he let her have sex with him and tells Jen that they’ll be able to balance both of their kid’s needs. Jen agrees to go to the hospital but refuses to go until the party is over.

 

Greg declares they’ll make the party go quick and rips open the pinata for the kids. He then declares it’s time for gifts, but Joan points out that Matt and Colleen aren’t there yet. Greg tells her they’ll forget their gift anyway and Lark insists on opening the presents slowly to save the paper. Jen tells Greg to speed up and Greg rips the presents open.

 

Heather asks if he wants record of who brought what, but Greg tells her it won’t be necessary and thanks everyone. John tells him that their present was a savings bond that has now been destroyed and Jen declares that it’s cake time. Joan tells them they can’t serve the cake before the pizza and Greg declares that life is short.

 

The family starts singing “Happy Birthday” and Greg quickly sings the rest of the song and blows out the candles. Greg checks on Jen, who is ready to go to the hospital. Her water breaks on the floor and everyone stares at them.

 

Jen and Greg tell Lark that they have to go to the hospital and ask if she’s excited to meet her sister. Jen promises the baby will get her a great present and Lark asks for a brother. Greg and Jen hug Lark and Joan takes Lark as they head to the hospital. As they leave, Matt and Colleen arrive and explain they forgot Lark’s present.