Lucifer – The Good, the Bad, and the Crispy

By: Paige Zinaman

Crispy dead man on the floor, red stiletto on the couch and Charlotte (Tricia Helfer) stapling herself back together. This is what we see as the Season Two finale of “Lucifer” kicks off. When Charlotte deems her handy work good enough, she drags the burnt body towards her desk before giving up and making a phone call to a mystery person telling them she needs a favor. Meanwhile, Lucifer (Tom Ellis) takes the sword while holding his hand out asking for the key to which Amenadiel (D.B. Woodside) refuses to hand over. This causes Lucifer to remind him that he’s ten times stronger than Amenadiel to which Amenadiel replies, “But I’m the favorite.” Lucifer puts the blade and his glass down before trying to get the key from Amenadiel once again. Amenadiel tells Lucifer he needs a little time to process what it really means.

Dr. Linda (Rachael Harris) arrives to her office bright and early only to be scared by Charlotte and lets out a “GOD!” Charlotte cleverly responds, “God-DESS!” Charlotte tells Linda that she’s wounded and needs medical attention; Linda tells her that she needs to go to a hospital then. Charlotte tells Linda that this is no human injury the hospital cannot help fix and since Linda knows who and what she is she needs her to help. Linda asks Charlotte why everyone keeps doing this to her and how patching people up is not her thing. Charlotte smiles, but approaches Linda telling her it is now which frightens Linda into agreeing. As Charlotte is showing Linda she warns her she may need to close her eyes right as blinding light shoots out burning a hole through Linda’s office wall.

Lucifer and Chloe (Lauren German) are walking to the crime scene when Lucifer looks from his phone to Chloe asking her how she gets over assured men to stop overthinking things. Chloe asks who is overthinking things to which he says it’s Amenadiel and that he would be the one to turn a compliment into something to angst over stating he should be happy he’s God’s favorite. Chloe looks confused for a moment before asking Lucifer if his father actually told them that to which Lucifer says, “In so many Samarian words, yes.” Chloe tells Lucifer that the more she hears about his father the more she understands why Lucifer is like he is. Ella (Aimee Garcia) breaks the tension by telling them that it was a body dump, but saying that someone shaved this man entire body yet whoever dumped it washed him in bleach. Lucifer, once again checking his phone, says out loud it’s like Amenadiel vanished off the face of the earth but Ella thinks he’s talking about the killer and keeps talking. Lucifer, not thinking anything of it, thinks it was sex when he notices the burn hole on the wall. Lucifer’s entire demeanor changes when he turns to Charlotte telling her to talk. She tells Lucifer that Chet stabbed her and “now I’m bleeding light. It’s no big deal.” Lucifer tells her that it’s a huge deal and that if her powers are returning then her human body cannot contain it and that she’ll burst.

Lucifer is frantically knocking on Chloe’s door when he is thrown off by Trixie (Scarlett Estevez) opening the door in full-on doctor’s gear asking if he’s slipped on a banana peel, too. She tells him she’s afraid he’s going to need surgery and opens the door wider to reveal Maze (Lesley-Ann Brandt) with her head wrapped telling him to not fight it because the kid’s fierce. Trixie pulls him inside and he starts talking to Maze about what’s happening and tells her he left Charlotte in the wine cellar at LUX. Trixie places gauze on his head. When he winces in pain, Maze calls him a baby and tells him she still has no idea why he’s there. Lucifer tells her that he needs the best bounty hunter out there so they can get the key and put the sword back together before Charlotte spills light everywhere. Trixie tells Lucifer he doesn’t have to speak in code and that she can handle adult stuff. Maze asks Lucifer why she should care if Charlotte explodes; Lucifer tells her that many humans could get hurt including the ones that she cares about implying Trixie and Chloe. Maze glances at Trixie and tells him she’ll do it, but he will pay her the standard fee and that there are no freebies.

Chloe is talking to Chet’s brother Hector Ruiz (Marcus Coloma). She explains that the body they found was that of his brother. Hector tells her that his family has a lot of enemies and that is the reason that he left and that he tried to get Chet to go with him but he wouldn’t. Hector tells Chloe that he knows she’s the one to put his mother behind bars and that she was after Chet so he knows what she thinks of his family; he tells Chloe that he loved his brother and that he didn’t deserve to die.

Amenadiel is telling someone that all this time that he was the favorite son and that he thought God had lost faith in him when all along it was he who lost faith in God. It turns out Amenadiel took Dan’s (Kevin Alejandro) advice to do improv and it seems he has turned a simple sketch into a therapy session. Dan pulls Amenadiel aside and explains that there are topics like religion and politics that they try to avoid while doing improv. Amenadiel tells him that he totally understands and tells the class to give him another scenario when a lady blurts out about a giraffe going into labor. Amenadiel’s scene partner sets up the scene when Amenadiel goes off about having to kill his own father; Dan pulls him aside again telling him that it’s a little dark and to try and have fun.

Chloe and Lucifer follow up on a lead they are given about a van that was near the crime scene. Lucifer tells Chloe that it’s a waste of time and they should focus on more pressing matter like a little old lady who died. Chloe knocks the paper away from her face and pulls her gun when she finds two people walking out in “Breaking Bad” gear carrying a body wrapped in plastic. The girls, Ava (Stephi Chin-Salvo) and her sister Kathleen (Shannon Chan-Kent), explain that they run a cleaning business and that they take care of crimes scenes and body removal perfectly legit and explained that the guy they were carrying out died of a heart attack weeks ago. Chloe asks why their van was outside an abandoned warehouse at three in the morning. Ava tells her they have to be mistaken because they were nowhere near that area. Kathleen informs them that she was went to see her ex again causing Ava to be upset. Lucifer agrees that they are good to go and tries to get Chloe to leave. Chloe pulls Lucifer aside asking why he’s trying to rush their investigation and why he’s still lying to her after everything they’ve been through.

When Maze finds Amenadiel he asks why she’s there and she tells him that she is bounty hunting him thanks to Lucifer and that it’s time to assemble the sword. Amenadiel tells Maze that he’s not sure he wants to, that God entrusted him with this. Maze knocks Amenadiel out and drags him out saying she doesn’t get paid by the hour. Amenadiel comes too in Lucifer’s apartment without the key. Lucifer tells Amenadiel his plan when Amenadiel tells Luci that Charlotte isn’t going anywhere. Lucifer informs him that they don’t have a choice because Charlotte’s powers are returning and it won’t be long before they can’t contain it telling him she’s already killed one person and that Chloe is on the case. Charlotte goes to Linda asking her what she meant when she asked if Lucifer had done it. Charlotte tells Linda she doesn’t want her hurt, but threatens her to either talk over wine or over her own charred corpse. Chloe and Dan are called to another scene only this time the victim was Ava. Kathleen tells Chloe that Ava didn’t know and that she got a call offering her a hundred grand. Chloe asks who hired her and Kathleen says that Ava’s death was a warning to keep her mouth shut. Lucifer gets a call from Chloe asking him to come do his mojo thing on Kathleen when Charlotte comes in she tells Chloe that his mom is there and hangs up.  Chloe puts pieces together and tells Ella that maybe Lucifer is hiding someone. Lucifer and Amenadiel informs Charlotte that maybe going to Heaven isn’t best and maybe she should rule over Hell. This upsets Charlotte who tells them she persuaded Linda to tell her what his plans are so when they refuse to give her the key she unleashes some of her anger and throws them across the room onto Lucifer’s piano.

Charlotte is at the pier when Chloe and Dan show up to arrest her. She tells them she won’t resist as long as they let her call Lucifer. Charlotte says she’ll talk to Chloe alone asking to go outside. Maze is running through the hallway yelling for Linda when she spots blood on the door and kicks it in finding Linda half-conscious on the floor. Lucifer shows up waving the sword at Dan and finds the key Amenadiel stuck in his pocket. Charlotte and Maze are talking when Lucifer runs out pointing the sword telling her to let Chloe go. Hector shows up pointing a gun at Charlotte when Lucifer tells him that if he shoots her they are all dead. Linda tells Maze that she needs a hospital when Amenadiel tells her it’s too far and she won’t make it. Maze tells him that they need to do something saying they need more time when Amenadiel starts slowing down time. Lucifer pleads with Hector to put the gun down when he spots Dan and fires. The bullet and everything around them slows down.

Lucifer grabs Charlotte and knocks them both off the side of the pier onto the beach; he puts the sword together and tells her that it ends now. Charlotte pleads with him and tells him everything she’s done is for her family. Charlotte tells Lucifer that they have the sword now and they can get their revenge. Lucifer lifts the sword with tears saying he’s not leaving. Charlotte stands back saying that it’s okay and if he hands her the sword she’ll take care of it. Charlotte tells him she just wants to start over; Lucifer tells her going home is going backwards and it’s not good for anyone. He tells her that it’s time to move forwards even if it means he’ll never see her again and slices a hole through the air. Lucifer tells her this is the way to move forward without God telling her if they go back to Heaven there will be a war and in war there are always casualties. He pleads with her to let there be light; Charlotte tells him she’ll miss him so much and holds her hand towards the hole and the light goes through. Lucifer pulls the key out and tosses the sword into the hole where his mother just went as time goes back to normal. Lucifer goes to see Linda who tells him she knew what she was getting into being his friend and she accepted it. Lucifer calls Chloe telling her he wants to finally talk about everything. Season Two ends with someone knocking Lucifer out only for him to wake up in the desert shirtless looking around. He is looking up to the sky with his wings on his back.