Made For Love – I Want a Lawyer

By: Jennifer Vintzileos

The aftermath of Hazel (Cristin Milioti) and Bangles’s (Patti Harrison) wild night comes to a head as Herbert (Ray Romano) wakes up and finds that Diane is missing from bed. Upon entering his living room, he finds Diane sitting on the couch where Hazel has passed out. Herbert notes that Diane smells like alcohol and Bangles pops up from the floor, admitting that she may have kissed Diane in her inebriated state. But no matter, Herbert is going to have Hazel meet up with a lawyer that he knows and that a family member of Bangles has used in the past.

Meanwhile at the Gogol hub Byron (Billy Magnussen) has taken to 24-hour Hazelvision with a video headset, Bennett (Caleb Foote) trying to be his eyes and ears to get around. During this time, Fiffany (Noma Dumezweni) heads into one of the other cubes where Gogol employee Remy (Matt Cardarople) mans the entrance. Plying Remy with a rare comic gives her the entrance she needs when she knocks out Remy and uses the chip in his finger to gain access to the tanks. Luckily, Fiffany locates Zelda and realizes that the reason Zelda was unhappy was because Zelda knew that Hazel had been chipped. Promising Zelda her freedom, Fiffany gets on the phone with Herringbone (Dan Bakkedahl) and he sends her his coordinates so that they can meet.

At the bowling alley Shangri-Lanes, Herbert and Hazel go to meet with a potential lawyer named Biff (Jon Daly) to see if he will take Hazel’s case. Trying to mask Biff’s identity by avoiding names, Hazel tries to explain what Byron has done to her. Unfortunately, Byron’s excessive care for Hazel’s well-being comes off a little less control and a little more endearing husband in Biff’s eyes. When Herbert finally drops Byron Gogol’s name into the conversation, Biff immediately switches gears and excuses himself to go out to his car and get his briefcase.

As Hazel and Herbert are talking with Biff, Byron continues to watch his Hazelvision. Bennett explains to Byron that he has a meeting to attend for a new pitch on fireproof Gogol products, which doesn’t go well as Byron continues to watch Hazel speak with Biff about her plight. During this time Fiffany awaits the arrival of her ex, Ignacio (Mel Rodriguez) and reflects on her work with Gogol. When Zelda was first implanted with the chip, Fiffany was excited about the data that they could gather from animals. However, Byron wanted to push for the use of the chip in humans, something that has bothered her all this time. When Ignacio does arrive, Fiffany agrees to sell him the chip.

Biff finally sits down with Hazel and Herbert to get the details of the chip in Hazel’s brain. Upon learning that the chip is worth one billion dollars, Biff advises Hazel not to remove the chip from her brain as it is their moneymaker. It is clear that Biff is more into the money for himself rather than the wellbeing of his client. Exhausted by the realization that she should have killed herself instead, Hazel sits down in the chair and admits in front of her father that she should have stayed at the bottom of the pool. Before Herbert can question Hazel on that, the lights go off and the television screens start showing pictures of Biff in unflattering positions with other women. Byron has finally figured out who he is and has Bennett call the bowling alley to speak with Biff, saying something that immediately has Biff hanging up and running out the doors of the bowling alley with his bowling shoes still on. Back at the hub, Bennett advises Byron that the lawyer has been taken care of. But Byron is more focused on Hazel’s proclamation about death and decides it is time to proceed with putting the chip in his head.

In an unknown location, Fiffany comes to Herringbone. Since Byron has erased his existence and seized his funds, he now lives off the grid completely. Fiffany explains to Herringbone that he is supposed to be put in the pasture cube, which is death to anyone who ventures there. Moreover, Byron plans to merge with Hazel immediately, a move that would kill her if he went through with it. During their conversation, Fiffany learns that the merge is happening now. Luckily Fiffany has equipment in her van for her and Herringbone to use to take the chip out of Hazel’s head and sell to Ignacio. They head off to find Hazel.

Exiting the bowling alley, Hazel is sad that Biff did not work out. Herbert still holds out hope that everything will work out, even if Biff was not the right path. Luckily, the bowling alley is also hiring and Herbert encourages Hazel to apply for a job there to continue her new lifestyle. Deciding to clear her head and do something she normally can’t do in the cube, Hazel walks home as Herbert heads out in the truck. It’s now a race for time as we watch Fiffany and Herringbone trying to locate Hazel while Byron has started the process to get the chip implanted, Hazel oblivious to both variables. During her walk, Hazel starts to feel a pain in her head and falls to the ground. Struggling to deal with the pain, she passes out just as Fiffany and Herringbone arrive to the scene. It would appear they are too late to help Hazel but still take her in order to remove the chip for Ignacio. At the hub, Byron is elated as it appears his procedure is complete.