Man With a Plan – Full Metal Teddy

By: Ujjyani Banerjee

It’s report card day. As the kids assemble to present their results, Adam (Matt LeBlanc) realizes how much he hated this day during his childhood but now it’s his most favorite day of the year! Kate’s (Grace Kaufman) report card is dotted with A’s and B’s. It impresses both her parents. Adam points out how it’s neither too shabby nor too Ivy League-worthy as regardless they couldn’t afford Harvard. Emme (Hala Finley) has received straight “smileys.” Andi (Liza Snyder) and Adam are proud of their daughters. Teddy (Matthew McCann) tries to sneak away, but he is soon summoned back. He’s forced to show his unsatisfactory results where it mentions that he does not do his homework. Teddy blames the unflattering lifestyle he’s been living and that it doesn’t align with his goals. Adam and Andi wonder how to tackle their slacker son and soon decide to scare him with plans of transferring him to military school as this bluff had effectively scared Kate in the past. They carry out the bluff, but it doesn’t faze Teddy. In fact, he chooses military school over homework.

Shocked, Adam decides to carry out the military school plan for real until he sees the exorbitantly high fees! He and Andi brainstorm further and finally decide to give Teddy a preview of what his lifestyle would be if he kept skipping homework. Adam is hopeful as he believes that two brains would surely outsmart one! However, Teddy isn’t as helpless as they think as he’s got Kate on board. She’s helping him dodge all the punishments and in a way getting payback for what was done to her in the past. While the siblings discuss the punishments in Teddy’s room, Adam walks in informing Teddy about the military school plan being called off and now being replaced by “work work.” He says a quick hello to Kate and orders Teddy to meet him in the driveway. It turns out that Teddy needs to stack a big pile of bricks neatly in the corner of the driveway under the hot scorching sun. Seeing the kid is apprehensive, Adam explains how doing homework could have landed him a job at a nice cushy office with free muffins but he chose a brick mover’s life. Soon Adam and Andi watch Teddy in action. While Andi’s proud of their plan, Adam is disturbed by the gapped brick stack. He rushes to show Teddy the right way, but soon ends up doing the whole task on his own with Teddy long gone. We see Teddy and his mastermind sister chuckle at their innocent parents while Andi feels sad they failed at teaching Teddy a lesson. They realize that they’ve been outsmarted by Teddy.

At the office Lowell (Matt Cook) shares how he confiscated his daughters’ cellos when they couldn’t catch up to the fifth year Chinese vocabulary. Adam and Andi fear that their kids are going to work for Lowell’s kids in the future! Don (Kevin Nealon) is afraid that Teddy could end up in summer school like him. He remembers how he spent all summer in the library with Mrs. Branch – a lady so boring that she was named after a tree. Adam feels that Don could talk some sense into Teddy and asks him to take his son out for lunch. At the lunch, where Kate is in attendance as well, Don shares his less fond summer camp memories. Teddy reveals that he doesn’t even want to climb the corporate ladder like Adam. Don blurts out his hatred for Adam too and Kate uses it cleverly. She reminds Don that he works for Adam and is practically his stooge now. This thought lingers with Don. Andi and Adam realize that Teddy changed Don’s mind as opposed to him changing Teddy’s. They’re also amused by Kate’s involvement. Suddenly, Adam recollects how he spotted her in Teddy’s room the day before. They realize that Kate’s masterminding all of Teddy’s actions. Just then Joe (Stacy Keach) arrives, pissed by the unnecessary brick stack in the driveway. Adam and Andi get an idea and hope that Joe could teach Teddy a lesson. Joe agrees and immediately reminds them how notorious Adam was back in his childhood who needed some pretty strict punishments. Apparently, he used to make Adam water the lawn with a tiny dixie cup! Adam and Andi reveal their idea to Teddy. While he’s excited to spend time with grandpa, Joe warns him that their relationship has now changed. Joe gives Teddy the same task of watering the lawn with the cup. Next, he’s made to polish shoes and is then given a sealed can of shrimp for dinner. After doing all the dishes, Teddy is made to go to sleep at 6:30pm as the next day he’s supposed to be up early to dig holes in the backyard. At exactly 4:00am, Joe wakes Teddy up with a loud blaring horn. Later in the day Adam pays a visit to check up on Teddy and finds him counting toothpicks in Joe’s presence. While Adam recollects each of these punishments, Joe asks him to look over Teddy while he goes to buy some barbed wire for their next obstruction course. After Joe is gone Teddy begs dad to get him out of there and promises to do all his homework. Adam agrees. Andi gets home and finds Teddy doing his homework. She and Adam calmly ask him to divulge about the mastermind but they find no luck. However, a big KFC basket does the trick and Teddy spills Kate’s name instantaneously. Seeing Teddy home, Kate wonders how it all went. Teddy lets her know that “he’s” out of trouble. Kate is confused until she finds Adam and Andi standing right behind her! She apologizes, hoping that her guilt was considered as punishment enough. However, Joe comes marching with his blaring horn, excited to repeat the “lawn watering” activity, this time with Kate holding the beloved dixie cup!

Later Adam meets Don at the bar wondering why he’s been absent at work. It turns out that Don doesn’t want to be his stooge anymore. Adam gives him a head’s up for “incoming punishment” in the form of Mrs. Branch. Don is shocked to see her after all these years. Pissed, he resumes eating his meal all alone but Mrs. Branch, who is sitting right next to him, makes it a nightmare. She hits his hand with a stick every time he tries to take a sip of the beer.

It is summer school all over again for poor Don!