Modern Family – Modern Family – Heavy Is the Head

By: Paige Zinaman

It’s Phil’s (Ty Burrell) shining moment as he and Jay (Ed O’Neill) are at the ground breaking for Dunphy Tower. It’s a family affair with Claire (Julie Bowen), Gloria (Sofia Vergara) and the rest of the gang there to support Phil in this huge moment. Gloria tells Claire that she looks terrible and that it’s a good thing the spa day she has booked for Claire came at the right time. Claire explains that she has to be very careful around Gloria around her birthday because Gloria tends to get her things she does not like salsa dancing lessons. Claire tries to tell Gloria she doesn’t know if tomorrow is a good time because she has a lot of things happening at the office.  Jay tells Phil that they should get the show on the road because the photographer has been taking pictures of Haley (Sarah Hyland) when she’s not looking. As he goes to break the ground a man Jared Cook (Jonathan Chase) comes up to Phil and Jay who wants to expand his campus and wants the lot. He offers more than the sum of it. Jay tells Jared they are not interested.

Claire makes it to work only to be caught right away by Ben (Joe Mande) who tells Claire that the staff is in an uproar over the budget cut and that when he told them there were no more bagels someone threw a cup at his head. Ben tells Claire that they could fire Kenny (Roy Jenkins) who does horrible impersonations of him. Claire tells Ben that she’s not firing Kenny and talks to everyone in the office. Claire tells them that she doesn’t like the cuts any more than they do and that she’s cut her expenses and all the execs are flying coach. Claire tells them that she doesn’t want them to feel alone and that her door is always open and more so she had it removed. When Ben tells Claire that it was a very powerful metaphor Kenny mocks him causing everyone to bust out laughing. When Claire goes into her office Gloria surprises her with a high class meal. Gloria tells Claire that since she said she’s too busy to get away from the office she brought the birthday surprises to the office. Claire tells Ben to get her a door.

Cam (Eric Stonestreet) and Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) are in the kitchen when he finishes her science project. Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) comes in and is disappointed because they finished the project without him. When Cam tells Mitchell that they actually wanted the project to work so Mitchell tries to tell him that they could have made it better by adding something only to be cut off with Cam using the drill to drown out what Mitchell was saying. Cam tells Mitchell that he loves him, but they all know he is the more “mechanically inclined daddy.” Lily tells Mitchell that if it makes him feel better she didn’t do anything either to which Mitchell tells her that it doesn’t and that she was supposed to be learning from it. Lily takes joy in telling Mitchell she learned a new swear word because Cam got a splinter. Cam tests the project and it doesn’t do what it’s supposed to which causes Mitchell to ask if that’s all it does because he’s not mechanically inclined. Cam says he needs to make a little adjustment when a metal part of the project smacks him the head only for him to fall backwards and have a firing pan fall on top of his head.

Phil got called to the dig sight by Pete (Robert Baker) who is one of the leads on the construction. Pete tells him that they found a ton of pockets of Methane. Pete tells Phil that the cost will be well into six figures and that the time on it will be at least a year due to delay with permits and environment. Phil cuts him off telling him to stop talking to him. Phil notices Jay getting out of his car and asks what is doing there. Pete said he called him. Phil tells Tony to cover the methane smell and tells the rest of the crew to look busy. Jay asks Phil what the problem is, but Phil says the problem is he’s hungry and the solution is they are within walking distance to Little India. Jay asks what the smell is but Phil tells Jay that the smell is Pete. As they are walking away small fire volcanos start shooting up from the ground causing the crew to go running away as more and more fire spots start happening. As Phil walks his foot gets stuck in the oil patch.

At Roast, Alex (Ariel Winter) is trying a trick on customers. Her co-worker Mason (Tory Devon Smith) taught her it. She would make her favorite drink only to make the correct one for the customer so she would have her own drink. When Gillian (Cat Alter) says she’s thinking about having a party at her place she asks Alex if she’s down. Alex asks if down means she’s invited then yes, she’s down for it. They start talking about it when Manny (Rico Rodriguez) comes up to Alex rattling off his drink order before meeting Haley who needed him because she lied to her boyfriend about loving “Game of Thrones” and is now going to Comic Con. Manny tells her that it’s a lot to cover in four hours and asks what she knows about George R.R. Martin and his work. After Haley explains what she knows Manny tells her it will go a lot faster if she doesn’t talk. Alex and Gillian watch on as Alex tells her she’s related to Manny but it’s complicated only to have Gillian tell her that everyone has messed up family stories like her and that her uncle is her dad. When their manager Scott (Timothy Horner) posts the schedule, they find that they are working double shift that day and tomorrow when Gillian announces that the party is off. Alex tells them nothing is off and goes and talks to Scott.

Meanwhile at Claire’s office, Gloria is trying to explain to Claire how to eat caviar when Claire shoves a ton in her mouth telling her that it was a great surprise. Gloria informs her that she has more surprises coming when Ben announces someone outside the makeshift door. She asks Gloria what she did when Gloria announces that he’s there to give Claire a massage and tells Ben to let him in. Claire tries to explain to Gloria that she doesn’t have time, but Gloria starts pouting and says that Claire always hates her gifts so she doesn’t even know why she tries. Claire tells Gloria that she always wanted a massage in her office and now it’s happening and opens the makeshift door to let him inside. When one of the workers comes to Claire asking if there will still be coffee or if they need to bring their own. Gloria asks who the guy was and Claire tells her that he’s interviewing for a warehouse position and that he is a forklift operator. Ben jumps in and says that it’s 2017 and there are plenty of gay forklift operators. Kenny comes up and yet again mocks Ben. Claire tells everyone that it’s time to get back to work and closes her makeshift door.

Mitchell and Cam are at the hospital after Cam’s mishap in the kitchen. Although unlike someone who would go in and get it down, Cam panics about getting an MRI done on his head. He uses every trick in the book to try and sway Mitchell into just going back home, even though he told them he could taste colors and French accents. When Bobby (Jared Gertner) suggests that they move on and that that the machine is bigger than it looks, Cam says his head is fine because he could think of three comebacks to that. Mitchell tells Cam to listen to Bobby because he knows what he’s doing, but Cam asks Bobby questions and when Bobby answers them he goes to get on the table only to panic and tell a story about getting stuck in a well. Mitchell asks Bobby if it would be okay if he got into the MRI machine to show Cam that it’s okay, only to be in there for just a minute and start crying. Cam puts the headphones on and Bobby gives him a panic button. The machine starts only to have a radio show about puppy love and a story of a man who was trapped. Cam pushes the panic button and runs out of the room.

Alex confronts her manager and ends up getting the assistant manager job. Meanwhile, Manny is still trying to help Haley understand “Game of Thrones” before she has to leave and meet Rainer (Nathan Fillion). As he is explaining the story of Jaime and Cersei, Haley tells him to continue as she fully gets into the storyline. Alex comes out of the storage room telling Mason and Gillian that she went in with a list of demands and states that she ends up getting the assistant manager job. Alex tells them nothing will change as she asks one of them to take out the garbage, further ticking off Mason and Gillian.

Phil and Jay go see Jared Cook the man who wanted to buy the lot from them in hopes that he would up the price and take the lot off their hands. Jay tells Phil to let him do all the talking and tells Jared that if they were still interested it would take more than what he offered. Jared then asks Jay about the methane and other stuff and tells them that they are not interested. Manny continues to tell Haley about “Game of Thrones” and she gets emotional and tells Manny he saved her from embarrassment at Comic Con. She then goes to change into her Kahleesi costume. Mason and Gillian refuse to talk to Alex and as she tells them their friendship is more important than the stupid apron Scott comes out. Instead of helping her case Alex gets promoted to manager when Scott quits.

Mitchell finds Cam on the roof of the hospital because he needed space and some air and says it smells purple. Mitchell guilt trips Cam by saying that if he dies Lily will never set foot in another circus or farm, which causes Cam to say he would haunt them. Mitchell constructs a foot padding device that was comforting Cam while he does the MRI which Mitchell tells him that if they come back okay he can suck it because he made it on his own.

Claire is still getting her mini office spa when she tries to rush things. Her workers start getting angry though and Claire tells them to give her twenty minutes to work out a personal problem. They don’t believe it and push their way into her office demanding to know what is going on. This makes Gloria very upset saying they get to leave at five and Claire never gets to leave so she deserves some pampering and tells them to get out. Claire hugs her and tells her to sit down. Phil apologizes to Jay and he tells Phil they need to think of next steps. So, they decide to build a parking lot instead. Mitchell doesn’t want to wake Cam up when the timer goes off until Lily tells him Cam said he would help her because he’s more artistic. That’s when Mitchell grabs the frying pan and spoon and bangs it by Cam.