Night Court – Pension Tension

Dan (John Larroquette) and Julianne (Wendie Malick) are working on a case with a married couple being charged with jumping in water with their cake and messing up a synchronized swimming practice. The team are in the court and show off their skills.

Abby (Melissa Rauch) charges the couple a $200 fine and tells the team that they don’t need practice if they do this well on land.

Gurgs (Lacretta) comes in and is overwhelmed with work and tells Abby and Wyatt (Nyambi Nyambi) she doesn’t want to bother her assistant.  As they talk, Dan works on his memoirs, which causes Julianne to make fun of him. As they banter, Roz (Marsha Warfield) walks in, much to Dan and Abby’s delight. She also knocks out the groom, which worries Abby, who wonders if they should call an ambulance.

Roz talks to Abby and Dan about her pension and needing to work before her retirement. The subject moves to Y2K, where Abby says she drank too much Tang and kissed her cousin.

She ends up working back in the court as another bailiff, which delights Dan. He says he never thought he would say he would say he would see Judge Stone and Roz in court again. Abby says she only kissed that cousin once.

In the courtroom Dan tells Gurgs to use her assistant so she has something to do and pays one to get him coffee. Roz is on hand as bailiff and makes Julianne put her food away, even though Julianne insists it is her purse. She even pretends her Cheeto is a phone, annoying Roz.

Abby presides over another case with a contortionist disturbing the peace, which causes Roz to go rouge. She is getting on everyone’s nerves, but no one wants to talk to her about it. Abby wants to write her a note, but once Roz says the arm guy popped and they need a janitor, she decides to talk to her.

In the cafeteria, Roz continues to go rouge and annoy everyone. She even goes as far as to steal Julianne’s food when she cuts the line. Flobert (Gary Anthony Williams) and Wyatt are also annoyed by her and they all want Abby to do something. She agrees but says to not be surprised if someone gets thrown under the bus.

Dan continues to write his memoirs. His/Gurgs’s assistant (Eden Sher) comes in and tell him no one likes either of his titles: A Dan of All Seasons or Fielding Your Dreams. He wants any Barack Obama to write the foreword and tries to convince Madison the assistant to get her dad, who works in publishing, to work on the book. She claims she is busy with many things, including working on her best friend’s bachelorette party….just as the friend calls. Dan sends her on her way while taking the phone and planning the party.

Abby finally talks to Roz with Gurgs’s encouragement, but Roz misunderstands and thinks that she is being offered a permanent job. Abby has no clue what to do now.

Julianne and Wyatt are surprised that the party they were planning on having for Roz is no longer a retirement party, but an un-retirement party. Abby says Abby is family and you don’t cut out family. They both protest, with Julianne telling Wyatt that Roz will get Julianned, as in the verb, not what you do to carrots, because she likes carrots. Meanwhile, he is upset he got a new outfit from an underpaid teen who called his look ‘whatever you want, I don’t care.’

Madison and Dan continue to work on the book and bachelorette party. Flobert walks in and discovers that Dan is using Madison for his own gain. Gurgs walks in looking for Madison to help her get a gift for Roz. She says her dad is getting her tickets to a bailiff’s convention. Dan and Gurgs both realize they have both been had by the assistant.

Abby tries to pump Roz up for the party, who doesn’t seem interested in it. Meanwhile, Julianne cuts into the cake, which has Roz’s face on it. This causes the women to fight and Roz to blow a confetti gun in Julianne’s face….causing Abby to fire her and admire the confetti at the same time.

Julianne and Wyatt fill out incident paperwork as Roz turns in her things, including batteries for her vibrator…which Julianne steals. Abby apologizes for firing her at her party, but it turns out Roz wanted to be fired to get her pension and severance pay. Abby says she would have done what she wanted, but Roz knows that isn’t true because she is family. Abby asks for a hug, but Roz says they aren’t cousins.

In the cafeteria, Madison is upset about the bachelorette party plans. Gurgs and Dan tell her they know they’ve been had, even though she gives them both what they want…..because she was telling the truth all along….because she has two dads and one got the tickets and one got the contract. She tells them she won’t introduce them as Dan and Gurgs reflect on this, bringing the episode to a close.