One Day at a Time – The Politics Episode

By: Gladys Luna

Lydia (Rita Moreno) announces to Alex (Marcel Ruiz), Schneider (Todd Grinnell), Penelope (Justina Machado) and Elena (Isabella Gomez) that she is excited that the Alvarez family have been invited to one of their relatives daughter’s baptism. This means that all the family will be gathered together for it, including Mirtha (Gloria Estefan) or as abuelita likes to call her, “La Diabla.” Also in attendance will be Estrellita (Melissa Fumero) and her family. Even though it seems that Lydia and Mirtha have buried the hatchet, Alex (Marcel Ruiz) says that Mirtha dared to say that Lydia’s croquetas were dry and the feud started all over. Lydia says that the only dry there will be the eyes of the attendants at Mirtha’s funeral. Penelope tells the family that the baby will be baptized with the name Alice, but they refer to her as “Margarita” since that’s the way she was conceived. She also lets them know that as long as they don’t talk about politics while they are together they will survive. She thinks that they only have to keep up with them while they are at the party, but then Lydia lets her know that even though they don’t get along well they are still family and they will be staying with them. She imagines having most of the family in her bed and Mirtha sleeping on the floor while she asks her if the floor is as hard as her steak.

Alex is happy that his Tio Juanito (Lin-Manuel Miranda) that he also refers to as “Tío ATM” will be there since every time he says a comment to praise him he receives money from him. Penelope believes that is better for them not to talk about politics at all and everything will be fine between them. Schneider suggests for them to speak about something different like sports or movies, but Penelope thinks of all the possible ways that will also go wrong. Elena agrees on allowing them to stay at their house and not to let them go until December so that way they won’t be able to vote. Penelope insists they should not stay there, but Lydia announces that is already late since they have landed and are on their way to the apartment although they are still one week apart from the baptism day. Schneider says that what they should truly do is to not to speak to each other at all. It worked for him and his father and he believes that’s the only way to avoid any kind of problems. He advises them to keep their feelings inside and harm themselves instead of others. So, Penelope imagines themselves eating in silence and keeping their thoughts for themselves until the pressure is so big that their heads finally explode. She says that kind of exercise doesn’t work for Cubans. She asks the handyman to go back to his apartment and leave them to figure out their own family problems themselves. Schneider feels bad for not being considered as family and after he leaves the place he explodes. The family imagine themselves in different scenarios to avoid conflict and they picture themselves as though they were in the play Hamilton being all polite to each other but that doesn’t go well either.

Lydia believes that the only way to settled things down between them is by going the old fashion way, which means to make a talent contest. She imagines herself and Mirtha singing and fighting over the microphone until Gloria Estefan (herself) shows up saying that Lydia is the one and only winner. When the woman is brought back from her reverie Elena questions her about why Gloria Estefan would be there. Lydia explains that every Cuban knows that if they close their eyes and switch their hips three times she appears. Penelope mocks of her and Lydia apologizes and says that she has been drinking a lot of rum. She takes a bottle and drinks again.

Penelope says that since there won’t be a way to avoid speaking of politics they should prepare a good argument to win. She then imagines herself again going through different facts about politics while speaking with Estrellita, but then Elena says that facts are no longer reliable to win. Instead, she should come up with something dirty about her cousin, but when she pictures herself doing that Penelope thinks that she might lose. Alex comes up with a better idea and says that the other day at one of his classes they did an exercise which consists in throwing a non-invasive question, listening to the response and then finding a common ground, something they call ALF (Ask, Listen, Find). Unfortunately, the only thing Penelope can think of is of ALF, the TV character, and her cousin Estrellita saying that he is another illegal alien in the country and pictures how police go after him. Penelope gets convinced by Alex’s exercise and asks him to teach her about it but without calling it ALF. Alex recommends for her to start on a neutral ground. Penelope thinks that maybe she would use a topic that she knows best. Alex believes that she wants to speak about 90’s boy bands and Elena thinks that she wants to talk about the places that will give something for free if you go on your birthday. Lydia states that maybe she can talk about how not to wear lipstick and still succeed, but what Penelope really wants to talk about is healthcare. Penelope imagines herself asking her cousin about if she thinks everybody should have healthcare, but Alex stops her saying that she just went straight to her cousin’s throat with that topic. She keeps imagining how the conversation would go and thinks about something they might have in common. She realizes that they are both on Facebook. Penelope thinks that her cousin will speak about how Obamacare paid for a caravan of illegals’ nose jobs and Alex asks her to agree to disagree. However, the woman refuses to just be nice about something unpolite. Alex says that is the way thing are solved in the Middle East sometimes, but she mentions that she doesn’t have that kind of patience much less when there are a bunch of Cubans in an Uber going their way. Elena asks her how is that she imagined the outcome would go and Penelope thinks of her family crying and saying that they were so blinded and thanking her for opening their eyes. She even thinks of Estrellita confessing that BOYZ II MEN were even better than N’SYNC. Elena tells her that she just cannot change people’s minds in a blink of an eye. Penelope thinks that since they apparently are not getting to any agreement, she should just fight her cousin while her aunt Mirtha offers them arroz con pollo. Next, she imagines how Lydia would show up and punch her. Back to reality Penelope finds herself punching the floor while thinking that the doorbell rings. She opens the door and burns her family to the ground with her laser eyes. Schneider shows up and tells them that he has everything ready and for all of them to escape to Vancouver with him if they want to avoid confrontations.

Elena tries to help her mother and daydreams her imagine a scenario where things don’t go the way she expects, so she pretends to be Estrellita defending her believes and saying that she feels protected by the person she voted for leaving Penelope speechless. The woman thinks of a way she could respond to her and comes up with a speech where she explains that she cannot understand how she can feel safe with someone who mishandles every crisis like the hurricane that hit Puerto Rico and the earthquakes. She also says that if something of a bigger scale would happen that everything has to be shutdown as she won’t trust to be led by someone who does nothing while people pass the time watching TV shows that given the situation would have to be animated. She expresses that they need to stand for one another as black, transgender and brown lives matter. Penelope also says that she cannot believe her cousin is defending someone who sees Mexicans as drug dealers or rapists. She speaks about the shootings and cannot believe how the other woman is not affected by any of that. Then, she says that for her what makes America great is the kindness of strangers, the people that serve their country while fighting for others. Penelope gets emotional and says that all of that came from her heart. Suddenly, the doorbell rings announcing Mirtha’s family has arrived. Penelope says that even though they don’t share the same beliefs they love them while outside. Estrellita tells her family that although the Alvarez’s are crazy liberals they are family and they love them. Penelope opens the door and they greet each other happily.